Jacob's Eclipse
by JJ Twi1ight
Summary: Eclipse written from Jacob's pov.  Obviously a sequel to Jacob's NM.  This will be Eclipse as SM wrote it, I will not be changing the ending.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: All character's belong to Stephenie Meyers. **Please review, it really makes me happy. :) **

Eclipse written from Jacob's pov. Obviously a sequel to Jacob's NM. This will be Eclipse as SM wrote it, I will not be changing the ending. For an alternate ending to Eclipse, check out my story Bella's Sun, coming soon.

(This story starts off the same as Bella's Sun, that story will detour in chapter 3)

Chapter 1 - WAR

_Again!_ Sam yelled, as I picked myself up from the ground shaking dirt and gravel from my fur. Paul crouched down and we circled and evaded one another, each of us reading the mind of the other. Our pack mates watched closely and their own thoughts mixed in as well intensifying the challenge. We all have been practicing for days trying to sharpen our reflexes, and allowing our wolf to react rather than think and decide. When successful our wolf would move almost completely without thought and catch the other one by surprise, it was fantastic. Sam was careful not to let any of us get too seriously injured, but lets just say it is a good thing we heal fast.

When I returned from Bella's with the knowledge that she wanted the Cullens to make her one of them it became clear that the treaty was going to be broken. We had no idea how much time we would have, but we wanted to be ready.

Our greatest obstacles were Edward's ability to read our minds and Alice's ability to know the future. Her knowing what we were going to do the moment we decided was scary and our only option was to be faster than ever before. There would be no time to hesitate or second guess, no time to think. Jasper's ability to control our emotions was equally scary, and I sure hoped that Sam had some idea of how to counteract that because I could think of nothing. We knew that the Cullen coven would be a united front and we would have to be ready.

Fight training turned out to be a perfect way to vent our pent up anxiety and frustration. None of us took the treaty being broken lightly, and would not hesitate to declare war. However for me it was so much more than a treaty that was being violated, it was Bella who was putting herself on the alter as a human sacrifice. How could she not value her life more than that? Does she not see how important she is?

Suddenly I felt Paul's hard head directly into to my chest and I was on my back and his teeth instantly went around my throat making it where I couldn't breathe. _Paul stand down_. Sam ordered, and Paul's hold immediately released and oxygen refilled my lungs. _Great job Paul,_Sam acknowledged. _Jacob distractions like that are going to get you killed._

Once again I picked myself off the ground and was angry and embarrassed. I hated that Bella still had that affect on me. I couldn't help but think about her, she called all the time and just wouldn't take the hint that we were over. There was never a _we _to begin without, outside of being her "best friend" and I knew that the love I had for her could not be stuffed back inside the ''friendship box", we had gotten too close for that. That ship had sailed, and along with it my hopes and dreams of a life with Bella.

Pulling myself together I sat to the side and watched the next set sparring with one another, sometimes it was one on one and other times we had two on one. Some days were spent more on the mental training of combat and others were more physical endurance. Fighting against a large coven was mostly likely not going to be over very quickly and we so we ran for hours and hours. Most of the time we could make a game similar to tag, where one or two wolves would be "it" and would try and hit the others to work on dodging and running. After a couple more hours Sam declared training over and we all went home hungry and tired.

Quil had joined the pack about one week after the Cullens returned. He was so freaking excited to be in on the secret, and have his friends back, he didn't care about anything else. He stayed a wolf for just over a week, not in any hurry to get back to his human life and his girlfriend got frustrated not knowing where he was and broke up with him. They had only been dating about a month, so Quil took the break up well and really so did she. I must admit it is fantastic to have Quil with us and to not have to keep it from him anymore.

The pack feels complete and there is a sense of unity among us all, a brotherhood. Well maybe not all, Leah is still as difficult as ever and never fails to remind us of how she feels like an 'outsider' among 'outsiders'. We have all learned to pretty much take her moaning and complaining as just part of her charming personality.

In no time I made it home, landing on two feet, slipped on my shorts and walked inside. It was dark inside with only a handwritten note indicating that dad had gone fishing with Charlie. I cringed at the idea of what those two gossips would plan and scheme while having the whole day together. As much as I loved my dad, he really needed to get a life so he could stay out of mine. I suppose I could try and just pretend like I wasn't dying a little more each day that I ignored Bella, and then he wouldn't worry so much, but I wasn't really good about hiding my feelings. I always seemed to lay things out straight, just how it was. You couldn't sugar coat crap, and that is just how things are right now.

I walked over to the freezer and smiled when I saw three boxes of pizza staring back at me. I got them all out and turned on the oven while I sat them on the counter. I opened one box took the plastic wrap and cardboard off and placed it in the oven. It would need to cook for 20 minutes so I decided to jump in the shower and get cleaned up. The water felt great relaxing my tired muscles and I washed my hair and realized I would need to cut it again soon. I probably should have weeks ago, but I just didn't have the energy to care.

I got out of the shower, dried myself off, and walked to my room for some sweat pants. As I entered the kitchen I could smell the pizza and my mouth began to water. I removed the hot pizza from the oven and got the second pizza out of the box placing it in the oven to cook. I ate the first pizza while the 2nd cooked, and when it was ready did the same with the third. Once I was finished eating I sat down in front of the TV for some mindless relaxation.

It didn't take long before I heard my dad rolling in the front door.

"Hey Dad, there is some pizza on the counter if you are hungry." I said from the couch.

"Okay, thanks." Billy replied as he rolled over to me and dropped a folded square piece of paper that said 'Jacob' across the front into my lap.

"What is this?" I asked picking it up. He completely ignored me as he rolled back into the kitchen, I assumed for pizza. I opened the paper and my eyes about jumped out of their sockets as I read.

_Please Jacob, talk to me!_ I didn't read any further as the paper dropped from my hands and floated like a feather to the floor, as I bolted from the couch and stormed into the kitchen.

"What the hell was that!" I yelled.

"Jacob she's trying. Give her a chance to fix things." Billy took two slices of pizza and set them on his plate and rolled in front of the kitchen table.

"What on earth for? Do you want me to just pretend that she isn't suicidal? Or has she given Edward up?" I asked sarcastically while pacing back and forth in our small kitchen.

"No. She hasn't. But she cares about you, maybe you could get her to change her mind."

"Like that'll ever happen."

"Well maybe it would if you would stop sulking, put on your big boy pants and read that damn note. You might just learn something."

I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of the kitchen, "Did you read it?" I was so shocked I didn't know what more to say.

"No, good grief Jacob. Neither Charlie nor I have read it. But the fact that she sent it in the first place is all I needed to know."

I pulled my chair out and slumped into it, "I can't believe this." I said shaking my head.

"Come on Jacob, she needs you and I know you need her too."

"But that's the problem Dad, I need her far more than she needs me. I can't go back to being the friend she wants me to be, too much has happened."

"Wouldn't her friendship be better than nothing at all?"

"I don't know. What would be the point?"

"And I think she needs you even more than you need her, she just doesn't realize it."

"I know." I looked up and I could see the note shouting at me from the living room floor. "I can't deal with this right now, I'm going for a walk." I said as I stood from the table.

"Okay. Hey there is a bucket of fish outside, would you mind bringing them in."

"Sure, sure." I said as I got up and walked outside grabbed the bucket and brought inside next to the kitchen sink. "I'll be back before too late."

As I stepped outside I could see the sun start to descend and I knew it would be slipping away into darkness soon. I walked over to the beach and listened to the waves come and lick my feet before receding back into the ocean. My mind was a mess, I didn't know what to do about Bella. Why was a friendship with me so important to her if she wasn't planning on giving up Edward and her desire to be one of them? I did the best I could to avoid thinking about that last part, how her skin would ice over, her beautiful heart would no longer beat, and her chocolate brown eyes would be lost forever.

A silent tear slipped out of the corner of my eye and my heart ached at the possibility of Bella being my enemy. The instinct to attack and kill would spread through my body regardless of the face that stood before me. I felt helpless as I sat down in the rough sand, laying flat on my back as I watched the sun continue to slip away. I felt someone come and sit beside me, but I didn't bother to turn my head to see who it was, instead I just watched as the sky filled with blazing oranges and pinks until slowly the colors slipped away into black.

I felt a hand, small and cold, settle itself into my own. For a second I didn't move, had Bella driven out here? I had never known Bella to be this silent, and I'm sure she would have had plenty to say if she were here. Also I knew Bella's scent by heart and this was very different. I could smell sweat mixed with a sweet apple smell, like a lotion or perfume. I lightly moved my hand and could feel the delicate fingers and my thumb rubbed the soft skin at the wrist, it felt so different that I had no idea who's hand it could be. Slowly out of curiosity I turned my head and saw the dark russet skin and hazel eyes that I knew to belong to Jackie.

I laid my head back down and relaxed my hand, which she didn't let go of, and looked out across the night sky. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"You just looked so lonely."

"Did it ever occur to you that I wanted to be alone?"

"Yes." She took a deep breathe. "Something has happened to you Jake, and it scares me sometimes." Her voice trembled some and I looked at her arms covered in goosebumps. She had a tight sleeveless shirt, matching pink and brown pants, and running shoes, I guess she had been running along the beach when she found me.

I brought my hands to my side, making her drop mine, and pushed myself to a sitting position brought her to my side. "Where's your jacket?" I could feel her cold arm against my hot skin and brought my hand around to her other arm.

"In my car, I get really hot when I run so I don't usually need it. I didn't exactly plan on being out so late."

"Oh." It was painfully obvious that I was the reason that she was still here and I didn't really know what I thought of that. Jackie was a nice girl when she wasn't spreading rumors about our romance, a romance that was about as real as the Easter Bunny. She had kissed me once in the school parking lot, I didn't kiss her back so it didn't really count as a real kiss, however no matter what I said no one believed me that nothing was going on. I knew it was bad when even Quil and Embry thought I was holding out on them and keeping it a secret from them. Truth be told there was nothing to tell, other than today the only times I saw Jackie was at school and these days the pack pretty much stayed to ourselves.

I heard Jackie take a deep sigh and felt her body relax so that her head rested on my chest. "You're really hot Jake."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Thanks."

She lifted her head and smacked me in the chest with her hand. "Not like that, you dork. Well maybe that is true too." She ducked her head embarrassed. "But that wasn't what I meant."

"Sure, sure. It's no big deal."

"Why are you so hot? You're not sick are you?" She asked as she reached her hand out to probably touch my forehead.

I leaned out of the way. "No I'm not sick. The heat is just genetic, just part of who I am."

"Your dad's not this hot."

"Glad you think so."

She just rolled her eyes. "Ha, ha. Okay, I admit I walked right into that one."

"The heat skipped his generation, and my mom's family had this issue as well." We were both silent for a moment, and I hoped that explanation was good enough. "And speaking of my dad, I need to be heading home."

We each got up and brushed the sand from our legs and back side. "Do you need me to walk with you to your car?" La Push was a pretty safe area, but I thought it would be rude to just leave her there.

"Sure, thanks." She said with a smile.

Her car wasn't far and we walked in silence. I watched as she unlocked her door and I waved 'goodbye' as she climbed in.

What an unexpected evening this has turned out to be. When I got home I helped dad get to bed, neither of us speaking and I crawled into bed shortly after. The note was still on the living room floor exactly where it had landed and stayed there for two days, neither of us wanted to touch it. However the longer it stayed there the bigger it seemed to grow, soon it would fill up the whole living room.

Finally as I was eating breakfast before school, dad wheeled himself in to watch some TV as he straddled his chair over the note he had had enough. "Jacob pick up that note or I will. And if it is still there I'm reading it this time."

I glared at him as I finished my last bite of cereal and placed the bowl in the sink. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and then gathered my books placing them in my backpack for school. As I walked back in, I planned to simply walk right out the door until I saw my dad with the note open on his lap. "What the crap Dad?"

"Hey, I warned you fair and square. If you didn't want to know what she had to say, that is your problem, but I sure as hell did."

"I can't believe you." I walked over and yanked it from his lap and shoved it in my backpack and walked out the door making sure that it slammed loudly behind me. I knew he hated it when I slammed the door and I could hear him grumbling inside.

He totally deserved it noisy old man. I never dreamed he was serious with his threat, but I knew I should have. He never has handled secrets very well. I approached Quil and Embry who were both waiting for me at Embry's house, I hoped that they would be able to see my irritation and just let it go, but I guess nothing was going my way today.

"Hey Jake!" Embry called.

"Hey." I answered sourly.

"Dude Jacob, what crawled inside your pants and died?" Quil snickered.

"Bella."

"Ohhhh." They both said together.

"Are you still ignoring her calls?" Quil asked.

"Yep."

"What did she do this time?" Embry asked.

"She sent a freaking note from her dad, to mine, to me!"

Quil clutched his stomach and started laughing so hard he almost tripped. "Man, that is awesome." Quil stammered once he could breathe again.

"You are seriously messed up." I said shaking my head.

"So what did the note say?" Embry asked.

"You'll have to ask my dad, he's the one who read it." This time is was Embry's turn to almost fall over laughing.

"Why haven't you read it?" Quil asked.

"If I wanted to know what she had to say I would answer the damn phone, not pretend I was in 2nd grade." I gave a frustrated sigh.

These guys knew my frustration with Bella more than anyone. Despite my best intention I couldn't help but have her on my mind each and every time we patrolled and they probably wanted me to move on. Or at least settle things so that I could pretend to move on, having Bella tangling in the air wasn't good on anyone. However, I couldn't think of anything that she could possibly have to say to me.

We made it to class and as I pulled out my stuff from my backpack I saw the crumbled note buried deep inside, calling to me, begging to be heard. I know I was being stubborn and stupid, but I couldn't handle feeling the hope that she still cared about me or the pain of knowing it was really over. Finally by 3rd period I had had enough and I couldn't take it any longer, so when I pulled out my books and notepad I reluctantly pulled out Bella's note. I smoothed out the ruffled edges.

_Jacob_

_Please, Jacob talk to me! There has got to be something that I can do. I'm sorry, I know that it hurts you that I am friends with the Cullens, but they are part of my life too. You are my very best friend and I know that we can make this work. I miss you and I need to figure out a way to be your friend as well, if you would only just talk to me, please Jake, please._

_Bella_

After reading the note, I knew I should respond. There is just something so personal about hand written words that is so much harder to ignore. Maybe it was because it was such a physical reminder, as soon as the phone stops ringing than your window of conversation is over, but with a note that window never closes. I flipped to the next page of my notebook and started to write.

_Bella,_

_What were you thinking! I do not want to talk to you._

No that wasn't really what I wanted to say and I ripped the page from my notebook and it made a loud tearing sound and everyone stared at me, including my teacher who stopped and looked confused.

"I'm sorry. I won't do that again." I stammered.

_Bella,_

_I don't know why you're making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we're in second grade – if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the . . . _Well that wasn't really what I wanted to say either, but instead of ripping the page out, I just crossed it out, and tried again.

_You made the choice here, okay? You can't have it both ways when . . _. It is not like she could have us both she needed to understand that.

_What part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to . . ._ I had been writing so hard that I broke the tip of my pen and ink leaked over the page.

_Look, I know I'm being a jerk, but there's just no way around . . ._ Dammit it was no longer just the tip that broke as the pen shattered between my fingers. I grumbled to myself as I reached inside my backpack for another pen, making sure that I didn't hold it quite so tightly.

_We can't be friends when you're spending all your time with a bunch of . . . _Oops should probably stop there, she hates when I use the terms 'bloodsuckers' or 'leeches' to describe her 'friends'.

_It just makes it worse when I think about you too much, so don't write anymore . . . _Nothing I could think of was coming out the way I wanted it to.

_Yeah, I miss you, too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry._

Angrily I put a dark black line through every word I had written, I was afraid that my arm would start shaking and give away the pain and anger that I felt. I got to the last line and I just couldn't mark it out, the truth of the words sprung from the page. So I simply added my name to the bottom and folded it. I was about to put both notes back in my backpack when the bell rang and Quil leaped from his desk grabbed Bella's note and sprinted out the door.

Quil was going to be one dead dog by the time I got to him as I sprung from my desk to follow him down the hall.

"Oh come on Jake, you know we all were going to know what it says anyways." Embry tried to reason with. "This will just save you from having to think of it later."

"That is so not the point Em."

Embry and I caught up with Quil in the cafeteria with a huge tray of food looking completely innocent, like there was no reason for me to punch him in the nose. He was very wise to remain in a public place otherwise I certainly would have. The rest of the day was uneventful, Quil grew a conscious (black and blue in color) and gave me the note back before walking to my house.

We had an afternoon snack, that would probably be two full meals for a normal person, and then hung out in the garage. I was still in a pretty sour mood, but thankfully they chose to ignore me and just let me sulk. The best of friends knew when to push you on an issue and when to let it go, and these guys were the best.

At dinner Dad apologized for invading my privacy with the note and I easily accepted, but I could still feel the tension between us. Bella had become a thick cloud hanging over both our heads and I knew it would burst at any moment, I just wasn't sure what the damage would be once it started. As I got Dad ready for bed I placed my note back to Bella on his dresser.

"This is my response to Bella, you can read it if you want to, I don't care. I won't reply to another one so if another comes, read it, burn it, whatever, but don't give it to me. I'm done."

I saw the sadness mixed with understanding in his eyes as I walked out the door. I just wish that my heart would be as "done" as my brain was. I hated the powerful affect that she still had over me, but I was going to simply take one day at a time and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I would make my dad proud and continue to serve the pack to the best of my ability.

**Author's Note:**

- For starters there will not be near as many 'facts' for Eclipse because truthfully there aren't as many. SM has never written a summary for Eclipse, so this will be largely my interpretation. However I really liked having a place to explain where I got my ideas, and I do feel that my interpretation is surrounded by facts.

FACTS:

- The last comment that SM made in her summary of NM was that Jacob left to inform his brothers so that they could prepare for war with the Cullens.

- Jacob's concern about Alice seeing them make decisions, at this point they do not know that she cannot see the wolves. Jacob learns that later in Eclipse.

- Jackie's character is completely fictional. I really like the idea of Jacob having someone to talk to who doesn't know anything and can't be inside his head, so she will pop up from time to time. If Jacob has enough self control to be friends with Bella than he also has enough self control to be friends with someone who is not in the pack.

- Jacob's sense of humor with Jackie is based on BD, if Jacob was still able to be funny while Bella was dying (blond jokes with Rosalie, some banter with Leah) than I think he would have been able to be funny here as well.

- Also my chapter titles may not be the same as Eclipse titles, unless I feel that it lines up well for that particular chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: All character's belong to Stephenie Meyers.

I have added a play list for this story, not every chapter but just when something fits. This song is for both chapter 1 & 2 - .com/watch?v=HTphQ8ESI4k&feature=player_embedded

Chapter 2 – BATTLE LINES

There hasn't been another phone call from Bella since I sent my note back. The realization that she might have actually listened to the harsh words I had written and comprehended the truth that we could not be friends, was extremely painful. Wasn't this what I wanted? For her to quit trying and to leave me alone.

Alone. It was a perfect description of what I was. I didn't want to be around anyone, even my pack brothers. The depression had started to eat me alive, and I spent most of my time either closed off in my room or walking along the beach. There was something so peaceful about the waves breaking across the shore line and receding back into the ocean. No one called them a coward for going back into the ocean where they came from, for that was the waves purpose.

That is where I found myself, once again sitting in the sand just watching time pass. Once again I felt someone come and sit beside me, as I turned my head I saw that it was Sam.

"Hey Jake," he said.

"Hey, is everything okay with the pack?" I asked.

"Yeah, pretty much there was just some things I needed to talk to you about." I knew that there had been a Council meeting tonight and I figured that it had something to do with that. However I couldn't think of anything that would involve me that Sam couldn't handle himself in regards to the Council.

"Well spit it out." I encouraged.

"Has your dad ever mention anything about being alpha?" He asked.

"No." I said while shaking my head. "Should he have?"

"Well you know that the last pack alpha was your great grandfather Ephraim."

"Yes. Sam I don't really need the history lesson, what is the point?"

He took a deep breath, probably to calm down from my blatant rudeness. "Jacob, being alpha is passed down from one to another. I have always known that I was just holding the spot until you phased and took your rightful place."

"Wow, Sam." I started to remember Paul making some snide comment about me being alpha, I sort of thought he was just be dramatic, however it was all starting to make more sense. "I'm not going to fight you for alpha."

"Well that is good to know, but that wasn't exactly what I was suggesting. I would be stepping down and you would become the leader that you were meant to be."

"But I'm not a leader."

"You are more of one than you realize. Have you ever thought about why the others always seem to do whatever you tell them to?"

"I just figured they thought it was a good idea and followed."

"Nothing is that simple, Jake. They can feel the alpha in you whether they realize it or not."

"Sam, I don't want to be a wolf."

"Jake, you didn't loose Bella because you are a wolf." Sam said cautiously.

"I know that." I answered bitterly.

"I just wanted to let you know that I will step down if you want me to."

I took a moment to think about the possibilities that being alpha would allow me, but it wasn't something that I wanted. "No Sam, I would like for you to remain as alpha."

"Okay. With our pack being so large I think that it would be best to have a second in command and I would like you to take that responsibility. It would help those who do not quite understand why they follow you, to be more at ease."

"I understand, that will be fine."

"Let's meet at my house, and I'll gather everyone else up for a pack meeting."

The pack meeting went very well and everyone seemed to be at ease with Sam remaining as alpha and myself being second in command. I think there was a little bit of a surprise between everyone that I didn't step up, but it also felt settled and I was thankful that we wouldn't have to deal with that anymore. With us all together Sam decided to go ahead and do some fight training for a couple hours before we went back home.

It turns out it was just a couple more days before we were able to put all this training into action. Quil, Embry and I were running patrols and making plans to spend the rest of the weekend together, when we came across a fresh scent. Instantly I worried about Bella, not really sure how diligent the Cullens were being in her protection. Sam wanted us to wait, but I was being a little impatient and the three of us followed her trail until it crossed the Cullen boarder.

Sam alerted the rest of the pack and it didn't take long before we were all together, and we filled them in on what they had missed.

"So what do we do next?" Quil asked.

"Something is going on with the Cullens. They are just pacing around not far from the boarder." Jared answered.

"Has anyone spoken to them?" I asked.

"No." Sam answered. "Do you think they already know that we are aware of them being there?"

"I'm not sure how far Edward's mind reading works, but we should assume that the psychic knows that we know." I answered.

"I have been watching them this whole time." Jared informed. "They haven't moved, its like they are waiting for something."

We paced around anxious that our opportunity to fight them has arrived, to control the nerves many ran up and down our border memorizing every bend and curve. I must admit this is far different than what I had been expecting for this confrontation. The more I thought about it, the more it didn't make sense. Why would they just be standing there, provoking us but not doing anything. Were they here to try and make an exception in the treaty for Bella? That wasn't going to happen, hell could freeze over before I would ever agree to her becoming one of them.

The wind was calm and settled around us as we waited. Suddenly they started running through the trees ducking and weaving through the trees, it didn't make any sense at all until we saw the flash of red blazing through the trees.

_No, freaking way_. Paul screamed, he was royally pissed off. _ That stupid red head has been with the Cullens this whole time_!

_I don't believe it._ I stammered.

_Look closer_. Jared insisted _I do not believe she is running with them, but rather from them. _

_She is who they have been waiting for._ Embry added.

_They should have told us_! I snarled. I couldn't believe that they knew it and kept that information from us

We ran along our line waiting, it didn't take long before she leaped onto our side and we chased as she continued to dodge and weave through the trees. In no time she was again back across into Cullen territory and we were forced to remain on our side. She continued to dance along the line with teeth biting at her heals when she was on our side, and blurs of white on their side.

She was on their side running, the deep ravine was not far ahead and she would be on our land once again. Jumping over it was the only logical option for her, Paul, Leah and I ran faster to be ready for her when she leaped, not expecting to let her land on two feet, but instead tearing her to pieces. It was the perfect ambush (or it would have been), as she got ready to leap the large burly Cullen sprung, flinging himself through the air. It was clear that if he missed his target he would have no other option than to land on our side.

Paul saw it too and crouched down ready to spring, the moment the burly Cullen missed he landed right on Paul. Leah and I began to run down the ravine as we watched and Paul and Cullen wrestled each other crashing hard into the water below. The beautiful blond met us down at the bottom and crouched down to assist the burly Cullen.

_Dude, she's hot_. Quil remarked.

_Awh, guys that's gross. She is a freaking leech for crying out loud._ Leah retorted.

Up above Embry, Quil, Jared, Seth and Sam continued to chase after the red head, but she was too far away for them to catch her. Paul and Leah both growled sharply, started to circle around the burly Cullen and the blond ready to attack, and suddenly we all felt calm and the fury and anger left us. It was like I forgot what I was upset about and had no desire to fight.

It was really strange, it wasn't until the Cullens climbed up the ravine safely to their side, that I realized that it must have been the mood altering Cullen that had affected us. I wanted to be pissed, but all I could feel was calm. Paul, Leah, and I walked back up on our side and we looked the other Cullens in the eyes.

"I'm sorry," said the head Cullen. "My son, Jasper, was only trying to protect his brother, he meant you no harm." He nodded his head to the freaky looking Cullen with blond hair, and immediately our own emotions flooded through us. I had never been more pleased to be pissed in all my life.

"Is Victoria still on your side?" Asked a female with caramel colored hair.

I looked through the eyes of my brothers and saw that they were still chasing her. _Sam do you want me to answer her? _I asked.

_Yes, but do not phase. _

_I wasn't planning on it. _It was then that I noticed that Edward wasn't with them, never really thought I would want to see him, but I must admit it would be easier to communicate if he were here.

I nodded my head 'yes' to the female Cullen.

"May I suggest that we focus on her for now, we can work out these issues later," the head Cullen reasoned.

_I agree._ Sam said.

I nodded once again and we all took off, them on their side and us on ours. We continued heading north through the cliffs as she weaved into their territory and our own back and forth. Just past the cliffs once again she jumped landing deep in the water below. There was a stream of curses on their side and ours, it was so frustrating that she was getting away again.

"Let us cross and go after her," the burly Cullen yelled.

Sam shook his head 'no'.

"We will go straight to the water and take the main land back completely avoiding the rest of your land," The freaky blond male tried to reason.

Again, Sam shook his head 'no'.

Suddenly the little Cullen's, eyes glazed over, "I saw her swim to Seattle." Alice informed while looking at us as well as her group.

"Well it doesn't appear that there is anymore that we can do tonight, lets go." The head Cullen said as they turned to leave.

I lifted my front paws slamming them on the ground to get their attention back, and the head Cullen turned back around.  
_Jacob what are you doing? _Sam asked.

_We need to know where Edward is, it doesn't make sense for him not to be here. _

_What do you mean? _

_If Victoria trying to kill Bella is even slightly as personal to him as it is to me . . . no one could stop me from being here. Where is he?_

_Maybe he is with Bella? _Embry suggested.

_In the middle of the night?_ I countered

Paul snickered, _Oooh kinky_. I felt myself growl in response.

"Is there something you need?" He asked. "I'm sorry my other son isn't here to interpret, you're going to have to change back to be able to speak."

I came and stood behind both Paul and Sam knowing that my remaining pack brothers would surround me as well, as I phased back. Only my head stood up above Paul's tall back and shoulders, so I didn't bother putting my clothes back on.

"Where is Edward?" I demanded.

"He is with Bella." The caramel colored Cullen answered

"Where?"

"He and Bella left on Friday for Floria to visit her mother," she informed.

My mouth hung open, that filthy lying fool! How on earth would she expect me to believe that a sparkling vampire would go to one of the sunniest places on earth. Without further thought I exploded back into my wolf form.

_That liar_! I screamed, as a fierce growl erupted from my body.

_Calm down Jacob._ Sam said, stepping up to my side.

"I'm sorry that upset you, I don't understand." The head Cullen stated taking a few steps in front of the female. "Please, lets wait for Edward to return tomorrow and we can meet again if necessary."

Sam stepped forward and nodded his large head and the Cullens retreated, I assume to their home.

While we were all together we spread out and did a quick patrol of all our land. My head was a mess, I couldn't believe the load of crap that she had tried to feed me. But why would she lie? What would they have to hide? They said that Edward and Bella left Friday and would return tomorrow, that was three days. THREE DAYS! Holy crap, they have changed Bella!

There was a collective gasp between the wolves as they had all been watching my brain process the information. This was the exact moment that we have been training for.

_Let's go_! Paul, said excited, it really bothered him that there was such a large group of vampires that was determined untouchable.

_With Edward gone this would be a perfect time, they wouldn't hear us coming._ Quil encouraged.

_But what about the little psychic, would she know_? Jared reasoned.

_Not to mention that mood altering crap, I have had enough of that for one day_. Leah scowled.

_Come on Sam, what are we waiting for? _I agreed.

_Jacob, I think we need more information. I admit that your logic makes sense, but there is no rush. I need to speak with the Council before we just go declaring war on them. _

_If we are wrong it would be us breaking the treaty and not them_. Embry added.

We disbanded for the evening and Sam was going to talk to the Council in the morning. I was so anxious that I volunteered for patrol, knowing that I wouldn't be able to sleep at home. I felt sorry for Quil who was stuck with me. I knew my mind was not going to be in a good place, and I was right. I was a nervous wreck. Part of me was so ready to fight the Cullens that everything in me wanted the treaty to be broken so that battle lines could be drawn and war declared. I would enjoy tearing them to pieces for what they have done. However, the other part of me knew what would be the cause of a broken treaty, and my heart ached at the thought of _my_ Bella being gone forever.

_Jake you're killing me here, stop thinking like that._ Quil choked out.

_Quil I wish I could_. The pain was so intense. _I'm sorry to put you through this, you can leave if you want. I can patrol the area alone._ I wasn't bitter or angry at him, but I knew it was going to be a rough night.

_No man, we're a team. Just don't get mad at me if I start singing "My Favorite Things" to counter your depressing thoughts. _

_You wouldn't dare_. I challenged.

He started singing.

_Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes. _

_Snow flakes that stay on my nose and eye lashes. _

_Silver white winters that melt into springs, these are a few of my favorite things. _

_When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, _

_I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad._

_I swear I'm going to kill you._ However I couldn't keep the chuckle in, I must admit that it did make me feel better. Even though he would know my thoughts I would beat him senseless if he ever admitted that the stupid song actually helped.

_What song, I didn't sing anything._ Quil countered, as he continued to hum.

_Alright, I'm holding you too that._

The rest of the night was uneventful, the threat of Quil singing again worked at keeping my thoughts 'happy', or as happy as they were going to get. As the sun rose the following morning Seth and Leah came on and exchanged with us.

I got home in time for the Council meeting, which Sam wanted me to attend. My dad confirmed, through Charlie, that the official story is that Edward and Bella did go to Florida, however we had no idea what time she was expected so I was nominated to call. It was early, but I didn't look at the clock and heard Charlie's sleepy voice on the other side. Unfortunately he wasn't sure about Bella's flight information and said he would look for the information and call me back.

An hour later I still hadn't heard from Charlie so I gave him another call, he had fallen back asleep and would still have to get back to me. This pattern continued throughout the day, as one game after another kept distracting Charlie from finding the information that I needed. By evening I was extremely frustrated, sleep deprived with patrolling all night, and could not relax until I knew what was going on with Bella. Sam has the rest of the pack out training, so that we would be ready once confirmation was made of the treaty had been broken.

I picked up the phone again, I know it has only been 30 minutes since my last call, but she should be home by now. On the fourth ring I hear Bella's voice. "Hello?"

"You're back." I said, relieved that she was home.

There was a long pause and I thought maybe she was going to hang up on me. "Yes," she finally answered.

"Why didn't you call me?" I demanded.

"Because I've been in the house for exactly four seconds and your call interrupted Charlie telling me that you'd called." I could hear the irritation in her voice.

"Oh. Sorry."

"Sure. Now why are you harassing Charlie?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, I figured out that part all by myself. Go ahead."

Well it became clear that Bella was still human, but we still needed to meet with the Cullens regarding their actions the previous night. I took a moment and debated about going over now, but I was sure Sam would kill me for meeting Edward alone. He was furious with me last time I tried that, by now the treaty was too important to risk breaking because I couldn't keep myself together. The school would be a perfect place to remain calm and I knew Sam would let me meet him.

"You going to school tomorrow?" I asked.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. Just curious."

Crap I probably made the whole 'we-thought-you-became-a-vampire' theory too obvious.

"So what did you want to talk about, Jake?"

"Nothing really, I guess. I . . . wanted to hear your voice." I know that was a lame excuse, but it was all I could think to say at the time. And oh my goodness it was true, hearing Bella's voice was painfully sweet.

"Yeah, I know. I'm so glad you called me, Jake. I . . ."

"I have to go," I panicked. This was about to become way too much about me and Bella, and not about the pack, which is what it was suppose to be about.

"What?"

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?" I said as I hung up.

I darted outside, phased, and started running towards them, immediately they all saw my conversation.

_Dammit!_ Paul and Leah said together.

_What the hell? We don't want her to be changed_. Embry replied, as I felt the growl rumble in my chest.

_I swear I didn't mean it like that_. Paul tried to justify. _I just was ready for the fight_.

_After all the training, it would be good to actually use it._ Jared added.

_But not at Bella's expense_. I reminded them.

_I could care less about Bella. She has made her choice, now she will suffer the consequences_. Leah scowled.

Fury grabbed hold of me like never before, and I was now just inches away from being able to tear her hamstring off.

_Stop it, everyone! _Sam commanded._ Jacob's right. As much as we want to be ready for a fight, it is best if it never happens_. I heard Paul and Leah grumbling to one another. _None of us take the treaty being broken lightly, however Jacob, you need to remember that she IS making this choice_.

_Whatever._ I huffed. _Sam unless you object I'm meeting Cullen at their school tomorrow and we can work out a time to meet with the rest of them. We still need to address them crossing onto our land the other night. _

_Typically I wouldn't want to meet in such a public place, but in this case that will be fine, just make sure you hold yourself together. _

_I will_. After that we were all dismissed and I went home and crashed. I would see Bella tomorrow morning at school and be able to get the whole mess straightened out with the Cullens.

FACTS:

- I do not know when Sam and Jacob talked about being alpha. It is stated that Sam offers to step down and Jacob refuses. Everything else about the pack feeling Jacob's alpha in him and following what he says is just my speculation. With alpha being genetic I believe they would feel it whether Jacob was the official "alpha" or not.

- The chase with Victoria I tried to make as accurate as possible, between Edward and Jacob they are pretty descriptive.

- I do not know how Jacob learned that Bella and Edward were in Florida, clearly he finds out not long after the chase with Victoria because he starts calling Charlie (starting at 6am) the following morning.

- 'My Favorite Things' – Sound of Music. Gotta love Quil!

- I don't know much about the Council, I just assume that Sam would have to meet with them before he could declare war on the Cullens, or anything major like that.

*** Important reminder: ALL conversations that Bella is present for will be either directly quoted or summarized from the book.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: All character's belong to Stephenie Meyers.

REMINDER: this is the chapter where Bella's Sun (fanfiction.net/s/6759594/1/ ) will split from Jacob's Eclipse

Song for this chapter, in Jacob's pov even though it is sung by a female

youtube dot com/watch?v=2cZk2DGc4cg

**Chapter 3 - VISITING**

I got up the next morning with a title wave of emotions. Yesterday with the pack it was such a mess, and I was exhausted that I hadn't really had a chance to let my mind adjust to the news that Bella was indeed safe and sound. Well maybe not safe or sound, but she was certainly home and very much human. I can't even start to express what my heart has gone through with the fear that she has been changed and the relief knowing that it hadn't happened. I wish that there was something more I could do to stop it, but if I couldn't compete against the memory of Edward Cullen, I do not see how I could compete with him breathing down her neck all the time.

The thought made me shudder, which Dad noticed sitting across the table from me. "Are you okay, Jake?"

"Yeah, just thinking." I continued to shovel the cereal into my mouth, sometimes I wasn't even sure if I completely chewed my food anymore.

"You seeing Bella today?"

"I'm going to the school, she said she would be there, so I assume I will see her."

"You don't seem very excited about it."

"I'm not. The last experience I had talking to the two of them didn't exactly go so well." I grumbled.

"How did you expect it to go, ratting her out to Charlie like that? By the way, you totally should have given me a heads up, Bella wasn't the only one Charlie was furious with." He rolled over to the sink and washed and dried his bowl and spoon.

"Yeah, I know that was really stupid on my part. Thinking about it now it was about the dumbest thing I have ever done."

"You know she has already forgiven you. If you would just give her the chance to prove it to you."

"We've already talked about this, there is no point."

"I think you're wrong, Jake." He said shaking his head. "However, you are right we have already talked about it, just think about it today when you see her. You'll never forgive yourself if you learn after the fact that you could have done more."

Like I really needed anything else to think about as I pulled my bike out of the garage and headed towards Forks. I arrived in the parking lot and popped the motorcycle on to the sidewalk. I'm sure I didn't need to be quite so obvious about being there, I stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all these tiny pale faces. It was almost funny to watch everyone stare at me and give a wide berth to me as they walked around to get inside the school.

It didn't take long before I heard his car pull into the parking lot and saw Bella sitting in the passenger seat. I could hear him speaking to her in the car trying to get her to stay inside, what a loser. The moment that Bella lifted her eyes she looked right at me and I saw her get out of the car. No one could tell Bella what to do.

Standing in a parking lot full of people I knew that I was going to have to be extremely careful, so I took a deep breath and focused on the task before me. Let's get this conversation with Edward over with, a simple warning to stay off our land. They walked towards me hand in hand, Edward stopped several yards away and pulled Bella behind his body, it was another reminder of how this was not going to be easy.

"You could have called us," Edward said in a steel-hard voice.

"Sorry." I sneered. "I don't have any leeches on my speed dial."

"You could have reached me at Bella's house, of course." My teeth clinched together, I didn't really like the mental picture of how much time Edward spent at Bella's house.

"This is hardly the place, Jacob. Could we discuss this later?"

"Sure, sure. I'll stop by your crypt after school." I snorted. "What's wrong with now?" I saw his eyes look around indicating the audience that we had around us.

"I already know what you came to say. Message delivered. Consider us warned."

"Warned?" Bella asked. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't tell her?" I asked shocked, I couldn't believe it. "What, were you afraid she'd take our side?"

"Please drop it, Jacob." Edward said evenly.

"Why?" I challenged. What is he hiding from her? I saw the confusion on her face it was clear she did not have any idea what we were talking about.

"What don't I know? Edward?" I waited a moment to give him a chance to answer her, but he just continued to glare at me, like I was the one who messed up here. What was that about?

"Jake?" She asked.

"He didn't tell you that his . . . _brother_ crossed the line Saturday night?" I said sarcastically. Then I turned my gaze to Edward, "Paul was totally justified in - "

"It was no-man's land!" Edward hissed."

"Was not!" I was really starting to get upset and needed to remember to control myself. My hands started to tremble and I took several deep breaths to gain control.

"Emmett and Paul?" Bella whispered. "What happened? Were they fighting?" I could hear the panic in her voice, not sure if that was for Paul or Emmett. "Why? Did Paul get hurt?" Not sure if I was flattered that she cared for Paul, or insulted that she naturally assumed that he would be the one injured.

"No one fought," Edward said quietly. "No one got hurt. Don't be anxious."

It was in that moment that I realized how completely in the dark Bella was. "You didn't tell her anything at all, did you? Is that why you took her away? So she wouldn't know that -"

"Leave now." Edward cut me off way too fast, I knew that I was exactly right. He glared at me revealing the monster he truly is.

"Why haven't you told her?" _You know she is going to be pissed off when she learns you kept this from her._ I let the silence remain and watched Bella's face as she processed the new information that she has received. I saw her start to tremble and it hurt to see her so fearful, but I knew that there was one vampire that made her feel that way, therefore it was clear she understood this situation.

"She came back for me," she choked out.

Edward touched her face giving her the comfort that I so wanted to. "It's fine," he whispered. It's fine. I'll never let her get close to you, it's fine." Then he turned his head towards me glaring.

"Does that answer your question, mongrel?"

"You don't think Bella has a right to know?" I challenged. "It's her life."

"Why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?"

"Better frightened than lied to."

Edward continued to comfort her and wipe her tears away. "Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?" he murmured.

"She's tougher than you think," I said. "And she's been through worse."

Immediately I brought up one of the most painful memories that I had, strangely it isn't even one of my own, but rather the night that Sam found her in the woods. When Sam found her he thought she was dead, it was only her soft heart beating that proved otherwise. I let the memory continue as Sam picked her up. She laid limply in his arm only her murmurs, "He's gone. He's gone," gave any indication that she was living. I knew that it had hurt me when I saw that moment, and I could only imagine what it would be like for Edward to see the damage that he had done.

"That's funny," I laughed as I watched his face squirm.

"What are you doing to him?" Bella demanded.

"It's nothing, Bella," Edward quietly answered. "Jacob just has a good memory, that's all."

I couldn't help but grin as my memories shifted into the first day that Bella brought the bikes over to me, she was deathly skinny with dark circles under her eyes, her hair was limp and messy. I showed how she would wrap her arms around her torso trying to hold herself together.

"Stop it! Whatever you're doing."

"Sure, if you want." I shrugged. "It's his own fault if he doesn't like the things I remember, though." She glared at me and I smiled back thinking maybe I had taken it a little too far, but there wasn't anything she could do to punish me more than by staying with him.

"The principal's on his way to discourage loitering on school property," Edward murmured. "Let's get to English, Bella, so you're not involved."

"Overprotective, isn't he?" I turned giving Bella my full attention anything that I needed to say to Edward had already been said, so I was going to just pretend he wasn't there. "A little trouble makes life fun. Let me guess, you're not allowed to have fun, are you?" I saw Edward glower at me as his lips moved back exposing his razor sharp teeth.

"Shut up, Jake," Bella said.

I laughed. "That sounds like a no. Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me. I've still got your motorcycle in my garage."

"You were supposed to sell that. You promised Charlie you would."

"Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you want it back." The thought of Bella and I racing our bikes throughout La Push pressed intself into my brain and I couldn't help the small smile appear.

"Jake . . ."

I leaned forward, without really meaning to, it just came naturally with being around Bella. "I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me."

"I, er, don't know about that, Jake."

Edward's arms were around her like bars of steal, she was a wounded animal trapped inside them. "I miss you every day, Bella. It's not the same without you."

"I know and I'm sorry, Jake, I just . . ."

Her rejection hurt far more than I wanted to admit. I sighed, "I know. Doesn't matter, right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?" I grimaced, wishing that I hadn't been quite so honest."

A man, that I assumed to be the principal, made his entrance breaking up the audience that remained in the parking lot. He asked if I were a student and after confirming that I was not, he threatened to call the police if I didn't leave. I'm sorry but the thought of Charlie coming to arrest me was too funny and I sarcastically jumped on my bike and road away.

Leaving Bella's school my mind was a mess. I had officially extended the olive branch of friendship, and I could see that she wanted to come to me, but once again Edward was holding her back. It made me much more angry than I would have thought to see her in his arms. Sam wanted me to check with him first thing, so I probably wasn't going to school today. That was fine, it was my turn to patrol so I would do that after meeting with Sam.

Meeting with Sam was uneventful and he agreed for me to patrol so for the next several hours it was just him and I running through the trees. We didn't really talk and both just let our minds wonder, we both knew that patrolling our small area didn't take long and we could probably stop, especially during the day time.

So when we took a break for lunch I went home to spend some time with my dad and do somethings around the house. I know that my dad has really felt neglected lately and my strained friendship (if that was what it was) with Bella was having an affect on him and Charlie as well. I heard them on the phone several times, and it seemed that Charlie was doing everything he could on his end to make it possible for Bella and I to spend time together.

Now that I have done my part and opened that door back up, maybe we can actually go some place with it. It was a great afternoon with dad, he was pleased about the conversation I had with Bella this morning and for the first time in a long time I felt some hope. After several loads of laundry and general cleaning I decided to head out to the beach.

The clouds were starting to gather and I was sure that a storm was coming our way. It didn't really matter to me, I could care less about getting wet. I have really started to enjoy coming to the beach and sort of found a new spot where I could sit down in the pebbly sand and just listen to the sound of the waves coming and going.

It took several days for the realization to sink in that Bella still hadn't called or come by, and maybe she never would.

"Come on Jacob, snap out of it." Embry encouraged after school.

"I'm sorry guys, I know I have not been any fun lately."

"Jake, we get it." Quil sighed. "But we haven't had any real fun together.

"Hey guys lets go to Quil's house." Embry suggested

"We can get out the PS2." Quil replied getting really excited.

"Sounds great, lets go." I really wasn't that particular, but I knew that they were really suggesting this for me and wanted to be a good sport.

We walked over to Quil's and it was nice to hear their playful chatter, it just seemed to remind me of when things were so much simpler. None of us were wolves, and we could just hang out for hours. We would talk about everything, but most of the time it was girls. It was way too early for Quil to try and start dating again, even though he transitioned into the wolf life easily it still takes adjusting. However, Embry was really wanting to.

"I can't believe you were able to get a girlfriend in the few weeks that we left you." Embry's comment bringing me back from my thoughts.

"Yeah, it was awesome. I always knew it was you two losers holding me back."

"Whatever man." I added as I punched him in the arm playfully.

We walked inside the house and grabbed some snacks from the pantry as we headed to Quil's room. In his room there was a small TV and he had Metal Gear Solid so we played that for a while. We would just pass the controller around every so often. Embry was really good at it, I did the best I could to not get us killed, and Quil loved to annoy the guards and then quickly turn into a box so they couldn't find him. He would then hop around as a box until the guard noticed him and was quickly killed.

It was really great to just laugh with my friends. The three of us spent most of our time together either at school, patrolling, or just hanging out. They were a great distraction, but nothing could completely take my mind off Bella. As I would go to sleep each night, my mind would wander. Sometimes it was filled with fantasy of Bella and I being together, it varied between just being friends again and being more than friends. However most of the time my thoughts were filled with the pain of reality.

I had just had a huge breakfast and a fantastic night sleep, so I should have felt great. However it had been almost a week since I opened that door back up to Bella and there has been nothing. I don't know what I was expecting, but I quickly learned that something was better than nothing. I flipped on the TV to see if there was anything interesting, of course there wasn't so I switched it over to sports for Dad. Suddenly, I heard Bella's truck wheezing towards my house. I couldn't believe it, she actually came.

I jumped up and made it outside before she even killed the engine. "Bella?"

"Hey, Jake!"

"Bella!" I yelled back, and _her_ smile stretched across my face. It has been so long since I smiled like that it felt great. "I can't believe it!"

I ran to her truck an yanked her from it as we both started jumping up and down like kids. It was great that she seemed to be as excited to see me as I was to see her. "How did you get here?"

"I snuck out!"

"Awesome!"

"Hey, Bella!" Dad rolled himself to the door way to see how things were going, there is now way he didn't know it was Bella who pulled up.

"Hey Bill - " Bella tried to say, but I pulled her into a crushing hug and swung her legs around in a circle. I was so glad to have her back.

"Wow, it's good to see you here!"

"Can't . . . breathe," she gasped.

I laughed as I put her back down, I was going to have to be a little more careful with her, it wouldn't be much fun if she passed out. "Welcome back, Bella," I said grinning.

We were both pretty hyper so we decided to take a walk on the beach. I was really excited and she kept having to remind me to slow down. The first few topics were easy to get through and I about died from laughing when she told me about the wolf flyer. It felt so good to really laugh. I knew that we were going to have to talk about why we haven't seen each other in so long. Part of me wanted to avoid it, but that wasn't who I was, I liked to deal with things straight on.

"So what's the story, anyways?" I asked as I kicked a piece of drift wood to relieve some of the frustration. "I mean, since the last time we . . . well, before, you know . . ." Wow, I'm really doing a great job with words, I took a deep breath to clear my head. "What I'm asking is . . . everything is just back to the way it was before he left? You forgave him for all of that?"

I watched her take a deep breath, "There was nothing to forgive."

You have got to be kidding me! I sucked my lip in biting my tongue to keep from saying what I really wanted to say. "I wish Sam had taken a picture when he found you that night last September. It would be exhibit A."

"Nobody's on trial."

"Maybe somebody should be."

"Not even you would blame him for leaving me, if you knew the reason why."

Oh, this I have got to hear, there is no way. "Okay," I challenged. "Amaze me."

She paused for just a moment before she began. "Edward left me last fall because he didn't think I should be hanging out with vampires. He thought it would be healthier for me if he left."

Well I admit that was different than I what I was expecting, I always thought of them as so selfish never taking into consideration other people. It made me wonder how much of it was actually true. If that were the case than he should have stayed away. "He came back, though, didn't he?" I muttered. "Too bad he can't stick to a decision."

"If you remember, I went and got him."

Wow, thanks for the reminder there Bella. How could I possibly have forgotten that?

"That's true. So I never did get the story. What happened?" She paused and I saw her biting her lip. "Is it a secret? I taunted. "Are you not allowed to tell me?" I turned and started walking along the beach knowing that she would follow behind, we were not far from _our_ driftwood tree and it would be great to actually be able to sit on it again. I sat down and it felt great and patted the space next to me for her to join. "I don't mind long stories. Is there any action?"

I locked my lips and tried to be quiet as much as I could. I was glad that she started back at the time that I was with her because I really don't understand what was going on around me. I hated the idea that Alice could see the things that we planned before they would happen, and was extremely relieved to learn that she couldn't see us. That news was fantastic! It was not easy learning about the Volturi, they seemed truly evil and I got chills thinking about Bella being surrounded by them. It was really strange, I didn't feel cold but my body reacted the same as goosebumps rose over my arms. I also didn't like the idea that I owed Bella's life once again to Edward, if he would just quit putting her in life threatening situations than he wouldn't have to keep saving her.

After she finished telling me about her time away she wanted to know more about what happened the other night with the red head. It was really exciting and I loved being able to share my pack life with her. I told her every detail of the chase with the red head and the burly Cullen. She listened, and added a few details such as the Cullen's names, like I cared what their names were.

"So did your vampire tell you we attacked for no reason and his totally innocent coven - "

"No," she interrupted. "Edward told me the same story, just without quite as many details."

"Huh," I mumbled as I reached down and picked up a pebble and flung into the ocean. "Well, she'll be back, I guess. We'll get another shot at her."

I looked out over the water and saw the cliff that Bella had flung herself off of, it had always represented such a terrible day in my life. Now with the new information that Bella has given me, I saw how things could have been so different.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked.

"I'm thinking about what you told me. About when the fortune-teller saw you cliff jumping and thought you'd committed suicide, and how it all got out of control . . . Do you realize that if you had just waited for me like you were supposed to, then the bl - _Alice_ wouldn't have been able to see you jump? Nothing would have changed. We'd probably be in my garage right now, like any other Saturday. There wouldn't be any vampires in Forks, and you and me . . ." I couldn't let myself finished. As the words came pouring out of my mouth they just sounded too good to be true. Oh, how I wished things could be different.

"Edward would have come back anyway."

"Are you sure about that?" I wasn't so sure.

"Being apart . . . It didn't work out so well for either of us." I knew how true those words were for Bella, but it doesn't seem like it was all that difficult for him. I almost said so, but I didn't really want to get into a fight the first day we were able to see each other again. Instead i thought it best to change subjects.

"Did you know Sam is mad at you?" He wasn't stupid enough to say anything to me, but regardless I heard his thoughts. Each time I thought of Bella while patrolling, his own anger slipped through.

"Me?" Se answered surprised. "OH. I see. he thinks they would have stayed away if I wasn't here."

"No. That's not it."

"What's his problem then?"

I leaned down and scooped up a rock and rolled it through my fingers, while I looked out at the water, it was never easy talking about Sam's memories of when he found Bella. "When Sam saw . . . how you were in the beginning, when Billy told them how Charlie worried when you didn't get better, and then when you started jumping off cliffs . . ." She frowned at that memory and seemed a little annoyed. Quickly I turned to look her in the eyes, ". . . he thought you were the one person in the world with as much reason to hate the Cullens as he does. Sam feels sort of . . . betrayed that you would just let them back into your life like they never hurt you." When this explanation turned from being about Sam to being about myself I wasn't sure. It was equally true about Sam, however I knew that everything I said was even more true about myself and I think Bella knew it.

Her face turned bitterly angry and I looked back over the water. "You can tell Sam to go right to -"

"Look at that," I interrupted a little surprised at how angry she got and by the language she was about to use. I thought it best to change subjects. There was a large and powerful eagle and flew out over the water, as if to give me a perfect illustration it dipped it claws into the water and pulled out a fish. "You see it everywhere. Nature taking its course - hunter and prey, the endless cycle of life and death.

I looked over at her and saw her confusion. "And yet, you don't see the fish trying to plant a kiss on the eagle. You never see that." I couldn't help grinning at the thought of something so ridiculous.

Bella grinned back, but if was full of acid. "Maybe the fish was trying," she suggested. "It is hard to tell what a fish is thinking. Eagles are good-looking birds, you know."

Finally at least something I could relate to, everyone knew that the Cullen family were all extremely good-looking. "Is that what it comes down to?" I couldn't help but be insulted that she didn't see me as attractive as Edward. "Good looks?"

"Don't be stupid, Jacob."

"Is it the money, then?" I persisted, knowing it was another area that I never could compete with.

"That's nice," she muttered, standing up from the tree. "I'm flattered that you think so much of me." She turned and started walking away.

"Aw, don't get mad." Okay I can see how that was a little insulting. I stood following right behind her; I caught her wrist and sun her back around. "I'm serous! I'm trying to understand here, and I'm coming up blank." How on earth could she want to be with a reeking vampire? It is not like she doesn't have another option standing right in front of her.

"I love him. Not because he's beautiful or because he's rich!" She spat the words at me. "I'd much rather he weren't either one. it would even out the gap between us just a little bit - because he'd still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I've ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?"

Now that was all kinds of insults right there, I didn't even know where to begin. "It's impossible to understand."

"Please enlighten me, then Jacob," she said sarcastically. "What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? since apparently I'm doing it wrong."

This was getting frustrating, it wasn't that she loved someone else, which sucked, but more _what_ she loved, which sucked even more.

"I think the best place to start would be to look within your own species. That usually works."

"Well, that just sucks!" She snapped, "I guess I'm stuck with Mike Newton after all."

I flinched, this was by far the most insulting she has said yet. I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream or cry, so I just bit my lip to keep from saying something I would regret. I dropped her hand and turned away letting the waves receive my wrath. "I'm human." I muttered softly.

"You're not as human as Mike," she continued ruthlessly. "Do you still think that's the most important consideration?"

"It's not the same thing." I kept my gaze out towards the water. "I didn't choose this."

She laughed for a second and I didn't know why, there was nothing remotely funny about this. "Do you think Edward did? He didn't know what was happening to him any more than you did. He didn't exactly sign up for this." I shook my head in disbelief, that is so totally not the same thing. "You know, Jacob, you're awfully self-righteous - considering that you're a werewolf and all."

"It's not the same." I couldn't believe that she thought of me being a werewolf as the same as him being a vampire.

"I don't see why not. You could be a bit more understanding about the Cullens. You have no idea how truly good they are - to the core, Jacob."

I frowned deeply. "They shouldn't exist. Their existence goes against nature." There was a long pause before I looked back at her face. "What?"

"Speaking of unnatural . . .," she hinted.

"Bella," I needed her to understand. "What I am was born in me. It's a part of who I am, who my family is, who we all are as a tribe – it's the reason why we're still here." I paused for a moment to think, it was natural. "Besides that," - I looked down at her - "I _am_ still human."

Maybe there was something more I could do, there was one clear difference that she could not deny. I picked up her hand, it was so cold and perfect, and pressed it over my heart. I loved feeling her pressed to my chest and I knew that she would be able to feel the beats of my heart.

"Normal humans can't throw motorcycles around the way you can."

I smiled. "Normal humans run away from monsters, Bella. And I never claimed to be normal. Just human."

I saw any anger that she had dissolve and a smile spread across her face as she calmly pulled her hand from my chest. "You look plenty human to me. At the moment."

"I feel human." I just wished that being human were enough. I felt my lip tremble and bit down hard trying to be able to control my emotions.

"Oh, Jake," she whispered as she placed her hand in mine.

FACTS:

- SM Quote: "Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best effort - he knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try.

Acknowledgement to those not familiar with Metal Gear Solid, here is the box

youtube dot com/watch?v=d0XZQHY_tvk

.com/watch?v=d0XZQHY_tvk


	4. Chapter 4

Song for this chapter - youtube dot com/watch?v=keU0QWGznMw&feature=autoplay&list=PLFEB7378345B0F39F&index=22&playnext=1

**Chapter 4 - IMPRINTING**

"Are you okay, Jake? Charlie said you were having a hard time . . . Isn't it getting any better?"

I wrapped my fingers a little tighter around her hand. "'S not so bad," I lied and avoided looking at her face so she wouldn't see the real pain that I felt.

I walked slowly back to our drift wood tree looking down at the pebbles beneath my feet. I could feel Bella following along and a slight tugging on her hand, maybe I was walking a little too fast. She sat down on the tree and I choose the ground next to her, I didn't want to be far away, but was uncomfortable for her to see my true feelings. Her soft hand felt great in mine and I kept it wrapped around my own.

"It's been so long since I was here. I've probably missed a ton of things. How are Sam and Emily? And Embry? Did Quil –?" She babbled.

"Ah, Quil," I sighed.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

I snorted. "Don't say that to him."

"What do you mean?"

"Quil's not looking for pity. Just the opposite – he's jazzed. Totally thrilled."

"Huh?" Bella asked confused.

I lifted my head to look at her face and smile, thinking about Quil I couldn't help but roll my eyes as if he were standing right here. "Quil thinks it's the coolest thing that's ever happened to him. Part of it is finally knowing what's going on. And he's excited to have his friends back – to be part of the 'in crowd.'" I snorted again. "Shouldn't be surprised, I guess. It's so _Quil_."

"He_ likes _it?"

"Honestly . . . most of them do," I admitted slowly. "There are definitely good sides to this – the speed, the freedom, the strength . . . the sense of – of _family _. . . Sam and I are the only ones who ever felt really bitter. And Sam got past that a long time ago. So I'm the crybaby now." I laughed, I can't believe I just admitted that.

"Why are you and Sam different? What happened to Sam anyways? What's his problem?" She asked so quickly that I wasn't sure which to answer first.

"That's a long story."

"I told you a long story. Besides, I'm not in any hurry to get back," She said, and then I saw her grimace at the thought of going back.

It easily caught my attention. "Will he be mad at you?"

"Yes," she admitted. "He really hates it when I do things he considers . . . risky."

That is so ironic coming from a vampire. "Like hanging out with werewolves."

"Yeah."

I shrugged. "So don't go back. I'll sleep on the couch." It was nice to actually be able to offer her to live here instead of her trying to get me to move in for a change.

"That's a great idea," she grumbled. "Because then he would come looking for me."

I stiffened surprised by her answer, I know I had a wicked smile but it couldn't be helped. "Would he?"

"If he was afraid I was hurt or something – probably."

"My idea's sounding better all the time."

"Please, Jake, that really bugs me."

"What does?"

"That you two are so ready to kill each other!" She complained. "It makes me crazy. Why can't you both just be civilized?"

"Is he ready to kill me?" I asked with a grin, I saw her anger but it didn't really phase me.

"Not like you seem to be!" she yelled. "At least _he _can be a grown-up about this. He knows that hurting you would hurt me – and so he never would. You don't seem to care about that at all!"

It always seems to amaze me how she can see him so perfectly. "Yeah, right," I muttered. "I'm sure he's quite the pacifist."

"Ugh!" She ripped her hand from mine and shoved my head away as she pulled her legs up to her chest wrapping her arms around herself. If I couldn't clearly see that it was from anger it probably would have freaked me out to see her curl up on herself like she used to do when she was sad and hurting. I let her have a moment and then got up and sat next to her on the tree, I hated to see her so upset. I placed my arm around her shoulders and she shrugged it off, I guess I deserved that, but the rejection still hurt.

"Sorry," I said quietly. "I'll try to behave myself." She didn't answer so I decided to try and change subjects. "Do you still want to hear about Sam?"

She shrugged.

"Like I said, it's a long story. And very . . . strange. There's so many strange things about this new life. I haven't had time to tell you the half of it. And this thing with Sam – well, I don't know if I'll even be able to explain it right."

"I'm listening," she said stiffly.

I decided it would be best to start at the beginning so I told her about how Sam was all alone when he phased for the first time. How he didn't have near the support system that the rest of us had. She was naturally surprised to learn that Sam had been with Leah before Emily, it was a complicated situation, trying to explain it was even more difficult.

I thought it was a little strange that Bella wouldn't understand how Mr. Ateara would know that Sam was a wolf by touching him, she is normally really bright and catches on easily. I placed my hand on her cheek turning her face even to my own, we were only inches apart. I could feel the heat of my hand pouring into her cold skin.

"Oh, right," she said. "Sam was running a temperature."

I laughed. "Sam's hand felt like he'd left it sitting on a hot stove top." I always loved the feel of her soft skin and loved the cold feel. Her face was so close to my own that she could probably feel my breath as I spoke. She reached out and took my hand from her face and interlaced our fingers together. It was a nice gesture, however I knew that it was from being too close and not that she really wanted to hold my hand. Regardless it still felt great to have her here again, so I leaned back giving her a little space and decided to continue my story.

I probably should have left the Cullens out of the story, but they are the reason that we become werewolves in the first place.

"The Cullens had no idea," she whispered. "They didn't think that werewolves still existed here. They didn't know that coming here would change you."

It was really irritating how easily she defended them. "It doesn't change the fact that it did."

"Remind me not to get on your bad side."

"You think I should be as forgiving as you are? We can't all be saints and martyrs."

"Grow up, Jacob."

"I wish I could," I murmured quietly.

She gave me the strangest look, like I had suddenly spoken a different language. "What?"

I chuckled. "One of those many strange things I mentioned."

"You . . . can't . . . grow up? You're what? Not . . . aging? Is that a joke?"

"Nope." I said, my lips popping on the P. Suddenly her face turned completely red, tears filled her eyes, and her teeth ground together. It was the strangest thing I have ever seen. "Bella? What did I say?"

She leaped to her feet, with her hands clinched and her whole body shaking, for a moment she looked just like me when angry. "You. Are. Not. Aging," she growled.

I couldn't believe Bella just growled at me. I reached my hand out tugging on her to get her to sit back down. "None of us are. What is wrong with you?"

"Am I the only one who has to get old? I get older every stinking day!" she snapped while throwing her hands up in the air and stomping around. "Damn it! What kind of world is this? Where's the justice?"

"Take it easy, Bella?"

"Shut up, Jacob. Just shut up! This is so unfair!"

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV." Had I been watching this from a distance I think watching her would have been the funniest thing I have ever seen, but being right here I had no idea what the problem was. "It's not as bad as you seem to think it is. Sit down and I'll explain."

"I'll stand."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay. Whatever you want. But listen, I will get older . . . someday."

"Explain."

I patted the tree next to me as she glowered at me. Suddenly she seemed to realize the foolish scene she was making and sat.

I explained to her that we would start aging again once we gain enough control to stop phasing. It is so strange how sometimes I feel that Bella just doesn't really see me, there is no way that I look like a sixteen year old kid. And I thought that trying to explain imprinting was going to be difficult, who knew that not aging would have been such a land mine. Go figure, the girl who is great about vampires and werewolves has issues with age of all things.

I brought the conversation back to Sam once again to explain what I thought was going to be the complicated part of my story. I explained that Sam and Leah were trying to work things out, until Emily came to visit. Naturally she was shocked and it made sense for her to cast blame on Sam.

"Don't judge him just yet. Did anyone ever tell you . . ." Man this crap is hard to explain. "Have you ever heard of imprinting?"

"Imprinting?" She repeated. "No. What's that mean?"

"It's one of those bizarre things we have to deal with. It doesn't happen to everyone. In fact, it's the rare exception, not the rule. Sam had heard all the stories by then, the stories we all used to think were legends. He'd heard of imprinting, but he never dreamed . . ."

"What is it?" She prodded.

I looked out at the ocean. "Sam did love Leah. But when he saw Emily, that didn't matter anymore. Sometimes . . . we don't exactly know why . . . we find our mates that way." My eye flashing back to her, man it was awkward talking about and I could feel my cheek redden despite my best efforts. "I mean . . . our soul mates." God this is so embarrassing.

"What way? Love at first sight?" She snickered.

I scowled irritated that she wasn't taking this more seriously. "It's a little bit more powerful than that. More absolute."

"Sorry," she muttered. "You're serious, aren't you."

"Yeah, I am."

"Love at first sigh? But more powerful?" She said back still confused.

"It is not easy to explain. It doesn't matter, anyways." I shrugged, it really wasn't an important detail. "You wanted to know what happened to Sam to make him hate the vampires for changing him, to make him hate himself. And that's what happened. He broke Leah's heart. He went back on every promise he'd ever made her. Every day he has to see the accusation in her eyes, and know that she's right." Oh crap, I shouldn't have said 'every day'. I really hope she doesn't ask why Sam still sees Leah every day, that could be really bad.

"How did Emily deal with this? If she was so close to Leah . . .?"

Man I was so glad that we sailed right past that awkward moment, unfortunately it was right into another one. I explained how Emily felt and that her accident helped bring Sam and Emily together. It seemed that Bella was starting to get the powerful affect that imprinting has on the wolf. I should have seen her question coming, and maybe part of me did the way she wouldn't look me in the eyes I could tell that she was thinking.

"Did it happen to you?" She finally asked, without looking at my face. "This love-at-first-sight thing?"

"No," I answered briskly. "Sam and Jared are the only ones."

"Hmm." Really Bella is that all you have to say. I watched her face and saw the relief and it hurt that she didn't want to have that connection with me. I hadn't really thought a lot about imprinting, sure it would have been great if it was with Bella, but I didn't really think it was going to happen so I hadn't really wanted it either way. But now I wondered if things would actually go my way, if I had.

"How did that work out for Jared?" She asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

"No drama there." I told her about Kim's crush on Jared and it was cute that she didn't like that Jared had told me.

"Oh, yeah. You can hear each other's thoughts, but only when you're wolves, right?"

"Right. Just like your bloodsucker." I grumbled, not really sure why I brought him up.

"Edward," she corrected.

"Sure, sure. That's how come I know so much about how Sam felt. It's not like he would have told us all that if he'd had a choice. Actually, that's something we all hate." I added bitterly. "No privacy, no secrets. Everything you're ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see." I shuddered.

"It sounds horrible," she whispered.

"It is sometimes helpful when we need to coordinate. Once in a blue moon, when some bloodsucker comes into our territory. Laurent was fun. And if the Cullens hadn't gotten in the way last Saturday . . . ugh" I groaned. "We could have had her!" I clinched my fists angrily. I saw her flinch and then shudder, it was confusing. She didn't think I would hurt her, did she?

"But isn't it like that for you all the time? Having _him_ in your head?"

"Oh no. Edward's never in my head. He only wishes." I looked at her confused, that is weird, I can't seem to get him out of my head. "He can't hear me, I'm the only one like that, for him. We don't know _why_ he can't," she explained smugly.

"Weird," I said, not really knowing what more to say.

"Yeah, it probably means there's something wrong with my brain," she admitted.

"I already knew there was something wrong with your brain," I muttered, she walked right into that one.

"Thanks."

It was really nice to be so relaxed and calm with one another. The sun broke through the clouds and it was really bright and we both squinted while our eyes adjusted to the world around us. I watched the waves as they came and went, back and forth, back and forth. I leaned into Bella resting against her arm, after a few minutes she removed her jacket and I rested my cheek on her head. It was such a simple gesture that it reminded me of how we used to be.

"What are you thinking about?" I murmured.

"The sun."

"Mmm. It's nice."

"What are you thinking about?" She asked.

I chuckled to myself. "I was remembering that moronic movie you took me to. And Mike Newton puking all over everything." We both laughed together and it was great to be able to laugh again. "I miss that. The way it used to be so easy . . . uncomplicated. I'm glad I've got a good memory." I sighed.

Instantly I felt her stiffen next to me. "What is it?" I asked, confused.

"About that good memory of yours . . ." She pulled away and looked into my face. "Do you mind telling me what you were doing Monday morning? You were thinking something that bothered Edward."

Ah, yes of course, I laughed. "I was just thinking about you. Didn't like that much, did he?"

"_Me_? What about me?"

I remembered Edward's pained expression and laughed harder. I told her how I was thinking about Sam's memory of when he found her, and how she looked when she came here, and how sad she was.

She smacked my shoulder, and I probably wouldn't have known if I hadn't seen her hit me. "Jacob Black, don't you ever do that again! Promise me you won't."

"No way. I haven't had that much fun in months."

"So help me, Jake –"

"Oh, get a grip, Bella. When am I ever going to see him again? Don't worry about it."

She quickly got up from the tree and I grabbed her hand before she could get very far. She tried to tug free, but that wasn't happening.

"I'm leaving, Jacob."

"No, don't go yet," I protested. What have I done? I had no idea she would be that insulted, and I gripped her hand so she couldn't leave. "I'm sorry. And . . . okay, I won't do it again. Promise." Like I said, when would I ever get to do that again, much more important to keep Bella happy.

She sighed. "Thanks, Jake."

"Come on, we'll go back to my house," I said eager to change subjects and do something else.

"Actually, I think I really do need to go. Angela Weber is expecting me and I know Alice is worried. I don't want to upset her too much."

"But you just got here!"

"It feels that way," she agreed. I saw her look up at the sky and could see that the sun was overheard indicating that more time had passed than it felt like.

I didn't like the idea of her leaving. "I don't know when I'll see you again." I tried to keep the pain out of my voice, but I know I failed horribly.

"I'll come back the next time he's away," she promised.

"Away?" I rolled my eyes. "That's a nice way to describe what he's doing. Disgusting parasites."

"If you can't be nice, I won't come back at all!" She threatened, and tried to pull her hand from mine, which I didn't let go of.

"Aw, don't be mad," I said grinning. "Knee-jerk reaction."

"If I'm going to try to come back again, you're going to have to get something straight, okay?"

I waiting for her to explain herself.

"See, I don't care who's a vampire and who's a werewolf. That's irrelevant. You are Jacob, and he is Edward, and I am Bella. And nothing else matters."

No way, she is that ignorant. "But I am a werewolf," I said unwillingly. "And he is a vampire," disgusting tick.

"And I'm a Virgo!" She shouted.

I couldn't believe that she really thought of us that way and I watched her face. She was such a terrible liar that I knew that her thoughts would be easy to read. It seemed true and I shrugged, not really able to understand it. "If you can really see it that way . . ."

"I can. I do."

"Okay. Just Bella and Jacob. None of those freaky Virgos here." I smiled, _her_ smile and she smiled back at me.

"I've really missed you, Jake." She admitted.

That is exactly what I needed to hear. Bella missed me! "Me, too." I could feel my smile widen even greater, but I didn't care. "More than you know. Will you come back soon?"

"As soon as I can," she promised.

**FACTS**:

- Shame on you SM for not having them hug at the end of this! This is such a hug moment and it drives me insane that she didn't put it in there. If he hugs her when she gets there than it makes perfect sense for them to hug when she leaves.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – When Legends Become True.**

Bella left that afternoon and it was great being able to see her again. Even though I didn't know when it would be, I had no doubt that I would get to see her again soon. That was a great feeling, and it allowed me to be able to relax. The pack didn't have to put up with my constant bad mood and they were all grateful for that. However they were all a little apprehensive and didn't really know what to think of me and Bella spending time together

She was officially "vampire-girl" again, and that was annoying. School was really interesting with so many pack members together in a confined place. Those tiny desks that we sat in were a joke, Paul just about broke one the other day. He was grumpy, tried, hungry and stuck which is a good way for there to soon be a wolf loose inside the school. We all hustled Paul outside with him cursing and screaming and ditched the last class. I swear seeing Paul squirm and stand with the desk still attached to his body was the funniest thing I have every seen, which is saying a lot, remember Quil is my best friend.

Once he calmed down Paul went to Emily's where Sam wanted us to all gather. It had been a while since we had some fight training all together so he wanted to get some drills in for a couple hours. Quil, Embry and I had patrols so we circled through our land several times, but like usual there was nothing interesting. Sometimes when patrolling we could catch the smell of a Cullen near the boarder, but it seemed that they were just checking their area similar to the same way we were checking our own.

After a quick check we went and met up with the rest of the pack. We were starving coming directly from school and so we were excited over whatever yummy thing Emily had baked. I have to hand it to Emily she is amazing at how she is able to keep us all fed, it is by far a full time job. We ran up to the house pushing and shoving one another to get inside.

The house was loud with laughter from my wolf brothers and high pitched singing coming from the other room. Though that was strange, I didn't think about it, there was a table of food calling my name. At the table there were several sandwiches stacked on a plate with several layers of ham, turkey, and cheese along with a bowl of apples and oranges, and another large plate of baked cookies. I grabbed a napkin and folded it around three sandwiches and grabbed two apples and a couple cookies and set down in one of the chairs. Embry grabbed the same sandwiches, one orange and a large handful of cookies and sat across from me. It has felt like it has been a while since the whole pack was together.

Sam was talking to Paul and Jared, he has been wanting to start a construction company and Jared's dad was an architect and did most of the design work on the reservation. Sam felt like with his natural strength and speed that he would be able to work much more cost effectively than most and would try to fix up some of the older run down parts of the res.

Seth came in from the other room, with a really strange look on his face and a tiara on his head.

"Hey, good lookin'!" Embry chuckled out to him.

"What's with the crown?" I asked.

He immediately reached for his head, taking it off. "Oh, I sort of forgot it was there."

"What are you doing back there?" Embry asked.

"I'm just playing with my cousin, they are here visiting Emily."

"Who's back there?"

"Leah, Claire and Quil. Emily took Anna with her to the store for more food." He shrugged and grabbed an apple before going back to the other room.

It was then that I noticed that Quil never actually made it to the table for food, like Embry and I did. That was strange, Quil never let anything come between him and food.

I got up from the table and walked over to the other room, Leah was putting away some of the fake jewelry and a couple dolls over in the corner. Quil was sitting on the floor next to Claire and she was telling him a story, but mixed with all the baby gibberish I had no idea what she was saying.

"Hey Quil, are you going to come eat?"

He didn't take his eyes from her face. "Yeah, yeah. I just want to finish hearing her story." Claire was pointing at the TV, and jumping up and down screaming.

"How do you have any idea what she is saying?"

"I don't know. I just do."

The TV switched to a commercial. "Okay, play time is over, lets go," I said bumping Quil on the shoulder. I have never really seen Quil with kids, but I always figured he was just indifferent to them.

"I don't want to go." Quil countered.

"Quil, what is wrong with you?" Leah added.

"I don't know. Everything is different, yet everything is perfect. Why?"

"You haven't looked at anything other than Claire's face the whole time I have been standing here." I stated trying really hard not to get a little freaked out about my friend.

"Oh, please no!" Leah yelled. "You stupid, piece of crab, how could you?"

"Leah, what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Your dipstick of a friend just imprinted."

My mouth hit the floor I couldn't believe it, but as I looked back at Quil he was looking at Claire like she was the most precious thing on the damn planet. "You have got to be kidding me. _Those_ legends are true?"

"We have legends about this?" Leah asked.

"We have legends about everything, I never dreamed this one would be true." I stated in shock. I could hear Leah mumbling about the lack of female werewolves in the legends, but I decided to ignore it.

Not really sure what I should do, I stumbled out of the room and knocked into Jared.

"You okay, Jake?" He asked concerned, it was really rare for any of us to be klutzy.

"It's Quil, I think he just imprinted."

"No way, he has seen Leah tons of times."

"Um no, not on Leah." I'm not really sure if that would have been better or worse. "On, the kid in there."

"Weird, go talk to Sam." Jared acknowledged. I went and talked to Sam while Jared stuck his head in on Quil, Claire, and Leah.

As I spoke with Sam, everyone started talking on top of one another causing all our voices to get louder and louder.

"QUIL! Get out here." Sam ordered.

"Is that even possible?"

"What do we do now?"

"That is disgusting."

"I always knew he was a freak."

"What does this mean for Claire?"

"She is only a child."

"What a pervert."

Quil stepped out carrying Claire on his back, listening to everything going on around him. As we all got louder and louder Claire began to cry. He reached behind him and circled her around to the front and began to whisper to her while patting her back.

"What is going on in here?" Emily yelled, she had several bags of food that she sat on the kitchen counter.

We all immediately stopped talking not really knowing what else to say. The moment we were silent we heard Claire crying and turned to look at her. Her tiny arms held tightly around Quil's neck, it was clear that our loud voices had really scared her. Once we stopped talking we could hear Quil murmuring and reassuring her.

"Claire, sweetheart are you okay?" Emily asked stepping around the other small child towards us and placed her hands on Claire's back. "Come here baby girl."

"Sorry, we didn't mean to scare her." Sam stated.

Claire took a deep breath and her tears stopped as quickly as they had started. For the first time Quil took his eyes from Claire and looked at each one of us. "Everyone outside, now." This wasn't happy-go-lucky Quil, this was you-just-made-my-imprint-cry Quil, and he was scary as hell.

He turned to Emily placing Claire in her outstretched arms, gave her a light pat on the back and kissed the side of her head. "I'll be right back."

As he walked out the front door no one hesitated to follow right behind him. We all went into the woods and phased, there is no way that we would be able to hash this out any other way than by being linked together.

_What is wrong with you monsters?_ Quil growled.

_I don't know. Maybe it would help if you show us what happened and how you're feeling. It would help us all understand and know the situation better. _Sam answered.

_Okay, I can do that. _

He brought us back to when he, Embry, and I all walked into the house. He knew that he was hungry and wanted food, but the moment he walked into the door he felt pulled into the other room. He thought it was weird and was simply curious. He walked in and saw Seth and Leah with crowns on their heads and long necklaces around their necks. He was about to say smart ass comment to them until Claire looked up and he looked into her eyes. The earth shifted and we all felt like she was the most important person on the planet.

I have felt imprinting before through Sam and even through Jared, so I knew what to expect, but somehow it was different. The level of devotion and commitment was the same, but there was a protectiveness that was like a mother bear looking out for her cub. With both Sam and Jared there was love and also romantic desire, for Quil it was completely innocent. I could see that he only wanted her to be safe, happy, and cared for.

Quil continued into when we were all yelling and screaming. I felt his hurt that we thought of it as dirty and each one felt guilty for how we had thought of our brother. Until we heard Claire crying and saw his anger at us, it bordered on hatred, as he comforted Claire and reassured her that she was safe and there was nothing to be scared of. At times his arms would shake from his anger and he pushed it aside and remained focused on Claire. When Emily came in the room the atmosphere calmed and Quil was able to relax and as he calmed himself Claire did also, it was almost like they could dissolve the fear and anxiety of one another. Once all was quiet he was able to hand over Claire to Emily and felt ready to deal with us, to be able to explain himself.

Now that he has said everything he could feel that pull to go back to her, he didn't want to be away from her for long.

_Thank you for explaining Quil. I am sorry that we reacted that way._ Sam apologized

We all mumbled our apologies as well. As usual Paul was pretty indifferent to the whole thing, he didn't have much of an opinion on imprinting, if it came fine if it didn't it, whatever, it wasn't important. Jared felt really bad, as a fellow imprinted wolf they usually had each other's back and really felt like he let his brother down. I felt extremely terrible for what I had thought of my best friend.

Quil looked me in the eyes while he forgave us all, but I knew that he was really forgiving me. _I don't blame you all, I would have done the same thing had it been any one of you._

_Sam, what does this mean for those of us who haven't imprinted? _Embry asked.

_That is a good question, you all know that imprinting can be very . . . complicated._ He hated talking about his own imprinting, especially with Leah around. Not like we blamed him for that, it was never easy with Leah around. However, this wasn't exactly a meeting that she could just skip out of, we were a team. One very complicated, messed up team, but a team nonetheless.

_Oh, spit it out Sam._ Leah sneered. There wasn't anyone who hated imprinting more than Leah.

_Imprinting is still rare, isn't it_? I added, not really wanting to ask.

_I always thought so_. Sam answered. _But that doesn't mean that it can't happen to every single one of you, don't forget that._ He looked right at me and I saw his mind flash to Bella even though he tried to keep from going there.

_I'm not going to imprint and leave her_.

_You can't possibly know that Jacob._ Leah scoffed. _Besides it's not like she is giving you the chance to need to worry about that. _I growled deeply and I wanted to take a bite out of her so badly, but it wasn't the time or place.

_Leah, that was unnecessary_. Embry sided with me.

_Are we done here?_ Quil asked _I would like to get back._

_Yeah, we're done_. Sam declared. _I need to call the elders and tell them what has happened. _

Everyone started walking back towards the house phasing and putting their clothes back on.

_You coming Jake?_ Embry asked.

_I don't know man_. Now that it was just Embry and I here the magnitude of what just happened was starting to settle in. It was now three out of eight wolves that have imprinted.

_They had no right to bring up Bella_.

_Are you sure about that that? What if I am fooling myself to think that it isn't going to happen to us? _

_Jake we can't live our lives in fear of something that may never happen. Like you said before it is rare, so that would mean that it is likely not going to happen to anyone else. _

_You're probably right. I'm going to run around for a while. _

_Do you want company? _

_Not really. Make sure Quil knows it is nothing personal, we're still a team. _

_No problem. Take care of yourself._ He leaped towards the house and I felt him leave.

What was I going to do about this? I hadn't really given imprinting much of a thought. I know I should have thought of it the first time I saw Bella and nothing happened, but I didn't. Would I be in the same situation I am in now if I had imprinted on her? Maybe, granted it has never happened when the imprinted couple wasn't together, but if anyone could get screwed over by imprinting it was probably me.

As I stepped back into my yard I could hear Dad on the phone. It was clear he was talking about Quil, I just wasn't sure if it was with Sam or one of the other elders. I walked in the front door as he was hanging up the phone.

"Hey, Dad." It smelled really good in the house, it looked like some steak was cooking on the indoor grill and I saw potatoes rotating in the microwave.

"Jake." He acknowledged. I looked at him and he looked back and me, it has been so long since we were awkward around each other and it just felt strange. "I was just on the phone with Old Quil and trying to decide how much we need to tell Claire's parents."

"Wow, crap, I haven't even thought about them."

"Yeah most parents are going to be a little freaked out by a teenage boy that wants to spend so much time with their toddler. It will help that they can see them together, just trying to be prepared when it is time to cross that bridge."

"This is just all around messed up." I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down while Dad shook his head. There is no denying that this was a complicated situation.

"Dad, do you have any idea what this means for the rest of us?"

"You've always known about the possibility of imprinting, this doesn't change that."

"Yeah, but it seems to make it more real." The microwave beeped so I got a couple plates out of the cabinet and put one potato on his plate and two for myself then I began to prepare them the way each of us liked it.

"Well, just . . ." He was cut off by the phone ringing in his lap.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Billy. It's Bella, is Jake there?" He looked at me with raised eye brows making it clear that she was the topic that he was just about to speak of. Hearing her voice through the phone made things so complicated.

"Sure, Bella he's right here." He handed the phone to me and I took it to the living room.

"Hey, Bells. What's up?"

"Well I was wanting to come hang out Saturday, got any plans?"

"He's gone already." That is so disgusting.

"Yep, I'll see you then. Sorry this is short, I have got a tone of homework."

"Yeah, me too. I'll see ya Saturday."

"Looking forward to it. Bye."

"Bye."

I looked back at Dad. "Am I making a mistake?" He placed the steak on each of our plates and sat them down on the table. I walked into the kitchen, filled two glasses with water, and sat down at the table.

"No. She needs you."

"And if I leave her? My stomach twisted into a knot at the thought.

"You won't. If any more of you imprint that would be half of the pack. Half, is not exactly rare."

"God, I hope you are right."

Everything was going pretty much back to normal. The teachers were cracking down with the end of school year and I had a tone to make up for. So it seemed that every night I was in my room studying or reading for classes. I had never been so looking forward to a weekend where I could just relax and have a break.

I just walked in the door with Quil and Embry when I heard the phone ringing. I picked it up and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Jake, it's me."

"Hi, Bella," it was great that she called, however Bella was a pretty scheduled person and this was not normal at all. "What's up?"

"Nothing good. I can't come over Saturday after all."

I cursed silently in my head, knowing that Bella wouldn't appreciate the profanity. "Stupid bloodsucker," I finally muttered. "I thought he was leaving. Can't you have a life when he's gone? Or does he lock you in a coffin?" She laughed, the strange girl. "I don't think that's funny."

"I'm only laughing because you're close. But he's going to be here Saturday, so it doesn't matter."

"Will he be feeding there in Forks, then?" I asked, only half joking.

"No. He left early."

"Oh. Well, hey, come over now, then," I said getting excited about her coming over early. "It's not that late. Or I'll come up to Charlie's." Quil and Embry pretended to be annoyed that I would drop them to go hang out with Bella, yeah they knew where they ranked.

"I wish. I'm not at Charlie's," she said sourly. "I'm kind of being held prisoner."

I hated the control that they had over Bella, it wasn't like she was a person but a commodity that could be passed around. It reeked of disrespect and I growled into the phone. "We'll come and get you," that grabbed the guys attention because they knew that if it involved Bella it would also involve vampires.

"Tempting. I have been tortured – Alice painted my toenails."

This so wasn't the time for sarcasm. "I'm serious."

"Don't be. They're just trying to keep me safe." I sure hope that the irony of vampires keeping her safe wasn't lost on her. I growled again. "I know it's silly, but their hearts are in the right place."

"Their _hearts_!" I scoffed.

"Sorry about Saturday," she apologized. "I've got to hit the sack, but I'll call you again soon."

"Are you sure they'll let you?" I asked irritated.

"Not completely," she sighed. "'Night, Jake."

"See you around." We both hung up.

"Dude are we going?" Quil asked excited.

"No."

"Didn't I hear something about Bella being tortured?" Embry added.

"I really don't think painting her toes is worth declaring war over."

Quil huffed. "But it also seems that they are holding her against her will."

"Yeah, I think she would totally be here now if she could just get away." Embry remarked.

"What do you want me to do, kidnap her?" I asked.

"It won't be a kidnapping." Embry reasoned.

"I got it! A jail break!" Quil yelled.

Though I admit I thought the idea was fantastic, all of their other ideas were horrible. Most involved trying to sneak onto the Cullen's property and take Bella while she was sleeping. Right, like breaking into a house of non-sleeping vampires was going to be possible for three werewolves. We spent most of the night going from one scenario to the next.

At some point while mumbling about needing to get some sleep for school, the option became blazingly obvious. SCHOOL. Surrounded by humans any bloodsuckers that might be around wouldn't really be able to stop her from leaving. I just hope that Bella doesn't think of it or they won't let her go to school. I wonder if Bella would ditch to hang out with me? I guess there is only one way to find out.

**FACTS/OPINIONS: **I do not have actual "facts", but I still wanted to share my thoughts on the chapter

- I don't know anything about what Sam does when he isn't being a wolf, but he has to do something and construction seemed to be a good fit, and I like him wanting to fix up the reservation. I also don't know what Jared's dad does or anything about his family.

- I do not know that Claire is related to the Clearwaters, it is possible that she is Emily's niece from the Makah side of the family, but I decided to make them related.

- Everything about Quil's imprinting is pretty much my imagination. However, there is no way that imprinting on a child is the same as imprinting with two adults (Sam/Emily) or two teenagers (Jared/Kim). I tried to make it a clear distinction.

- Again my imagination, why does a teenage boy believe so strongly that he won't imprint? Because his dad told him he wouldn't, because it is RARE. (just a guess)

- As for the conversation with Bella, she assumes that he slips into the "pack plural" with the "we" that he says, but what if he was talking about those who were with him in the room (Quil and Embry) so that is where that idea came from.


	6. Chapter 6

Song for this chapter -youtube dot com/watch?v=9EHAo6rEuas

Chapter 6 - TEMPER

I got up the next morning really excited to see if this plan was going to work. Quil and Embry had fallen asleep hours before I had made the decision to go to Bella's school so I got ready even though I didn't plan to stay very long. I did the best I could to keep our conversations normal as we walked to school and divided for our first class. It didn't take long and I slipped out, making the excuse that I needed to take my dad to a doctor's appointment and ran back to my house.

I poked my head inside the house, I didn't see him in the living room so I walked down the hall. He was inside the twins' room working on his wood carvings. "Hey Dad, if anyone asks I'm taking you to the doctor."

"Why? Am I sick?"

"Yes."

"Good to know."

"See ya later." I started heading back towards the door.

"Not so fast, where are you really going?"

"Rescuing Bella. Bye." I saw him roll his eyes and shake his head. I probably should have given him more details, but he probably heard me and the guys coming up with crazy ideas most of the night.

I got my bike and road to Forks, I had no idea what her school schedule would be like so I waited at the back of the parking lot until I saw students leaving their classes. I saw her walking and talking to Mike, I saw her roll her eyes once and I could hear him trying to get her to do something with him. Amazing that some guys just never give up – my situation is completely different, she actually likes me.

I roared the engine to life and sped quickly towards Bella. I waved her towards me and yelled. "Run, Bella!" She just stood there for a moment and I began to wonder if she wasn't going to come. That would be embarrassing.

She turned her head to Mike, "I got really sick and went home, okay?" I could hear the excitement in her voice.

"Fine," he muttered.

"Thanks, Mike. I owe you one!" She said as she kissed him on the cheek. What the hell? By the way Bella, I don't think you owe him anything that was payment in full and for the record he is never washing his face again.

I felt Bella jump on the back of the bike and wrap her arms tightly around my waist. I didn't think I could feel any better until I saw the look on the little leeches face, she was not happy and it made it even better. I knew I needed to act quickly so I sped off out of the parking lot, glad that Bella held on tightly until I was able to slow down once we made it over the boarder. My shoulders were finally able to relax and I laughed so hard, I wasn't able to really believe it was going to work until it finally did.

"We made it," I shouted. "Not bad for a prison break, eh?"

"Good thinking, Jake."

"I remembered what you said about the psychic leech not being able to predict what I'm going to do. I'm glad you didn't think of this – she wouldn't have let you go to school."

"That's why I didn't consider it."

I laughed still amazed that it worked. "What do you want to do today?"

"Anything!" She laughed back and it was great to see her smile stretch across her face. It felt like it had been a while since we were able to have a good time together.

I parked the bike back in the garage. We debated about going riding, but decided to just relax for a while and I had too much nervous energy left from our jail break to be inside. So we walked over to the beach.

"Do you think they'll come looking for you?" That might be kind of fun.

"No. They're going to be furious with me tonight, though."

I picked up a rock and threw it into the water. "Don't go back, then." I loved being able to be the one to suggest she live with me instead of her doing it all the time. I still don't know why she kept offering me to live with her and Charlie.

"Charlie would love that," she said sarcastically.

"I bet he wouldn't mind." I knew how much he was trying to get us to spend time together. Not totally sure that he would go with me never giving her back, but oh well.

"So what's the latest pack scandal?" Bella asked. Holy crap! How does she know about Quil? I skidded to a halt and stared at her in shock. "What? That was a joke."

"Oh." I looked away, not really sure how to recover from making it so obvious that there was something.

"_Is _there a scandal?" She asked.

I chuckled once. "I forget what it's like, not having everyone know everything all the time. Having a quiet, private place inside my head."

We walked along the beach quietly for a few minutes. "So what is it?" She finally asked. "That everyone in your head already knows?

I hesitated trying to figure out how to explain this one. "Quil imprinted. That's three now. The rest of us are starting to get worried. Maybe it's more common that the stories say . . ." I hated admitting that out loud. If it wasn't rare, then why didn't it happen on Bella. Maybe I just hadn't looked at her correctly, I looked over every inch of her face thinking maybe that there was something that I had missed before.

"What are you staring at?" She asked, looking a little self-conscious.

I sighed, "Nothing." I was frustrated and started walking away, but I wanted to make sure that she stayed with me so I reached out and took her hand. It had become a habit of ours to walk hand-in-hand along the beach and at first it was like nothing had changed. Part of me was surprised that she still let me hold her hand and the other part was thrilled that she let us keep this connection. I tried not to make it mean more than the simple gesture that it was, but I would be lying if I didn't say it gave me hope.

"Why is Quil's imprinting such a scandal?" Man, she had no idea the can of worms she was opening up. It was really hard to try and explain, even with already talking to her about imprinting before, it did not make it any easier. She also kept trying to guess and there was no way she was going to get it right. Despite the heavy drops of rain that landed on us, I could see in her face that she was really trying not to be judgmental with Quil imprinting on a two year old, but I could also see that her mind wasn't handling it well. I tried to give words to the mental connection and the intensity of imprinting.

"Quil will be the best, kindest big brother any kid ever had. There isn't a toddler on the planet that will be more carefully looked after than that little girl will be. And then, when she's older and needs a friend, he'll be more understanding, trustworthy, and reliable than anyone else she knows. And then, when she's grown up, they'll be as happy as Emily and Sam." I was still a little angry at Sam bringing up Bella and thinking that I shouldn't be around her because of imprinting.

"Doesn't Claire get a choice here?"

"Of course. But why wouldn't she choose him, in the end? He'll be her perfect match. Like he was designed for her alone."

We walked along our hands naturally swaying with each step that we took. Bella paused for a moment and bent over picked up a pebble and tossed it into the water, it only went a few meters and I couldn't keep from laughing at her attempt.

"We can't all be freakishly strong," she muttered.

I sighed, it was just good to have her back.

"When do you think it will happen to you?" She asked quietly.

Now there was the million dollar question. "Never." I answered quickly feeling confident that it would not happen.

"It's not something you can control, is it?"

I was silent for a moment and our feet found a new rhythm, it was slow and sluggish barely moving at all. "It's not suppose to be," I admitted. "But you have to _see_ her – the one that's supposedly meant for you."

"And you think if you haven't seen her yet, then she's not out there?" I could hear her doubt. "Jacob, you haven't really seen much of the world – less than me, even."

"No, I haven't," I said in a low voice. I looked back at her face, a face that I have seen and thought about so many times. A face that I have memorized and that I love. "But I'll never see anyone else, Bella. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else. Ask Quil or Embry. It drives them all crazy."

At some point we had stopped moving and I could feel the magnitude of the confession that I just made to Bella.

"Maybe I'd better go home," she whispered.

"No!" I protested, surprised that hearing my feelings would make her want to leave. I saw the conflict in her face. "You have the whole day off, right? The bloodsucker won't be home yet."

She glared at me and it took me a moment to realize what I had said. "No offense intended," I added quickly trying to repair the damage I knew our _nicknames_ for them usually caused.

"Yes, I have the whole day. But, Jake . . ."

I lifted both hands up to surrender. "Sorry," I apologized. "I won't be like that anymore. I'll just be Jacob."

She sighed. "But if that's what you're thinking . . ."

"Don't worry about me," I insisted. I had gotten really nervous that she was about to leave and I wanted to give her _her_ smile, but my nerves wouldn't quite let me so I just made myself be a cheerful as possible probably over compensating. "I know what I'm doing. Just tell me if I'm upsetting you."

"I don't know . . ."

"C'mon, Bella. Let's go back to the house and get our bikes. You've got to ride a motorcycle regularly to keep it in tune." I hoped that the distraction would work in my favor.

"I really don't think I'm allowed."

"By who? Charlie or the blood – or _him_?" What is wrong with me? I'm trying to get her to stay not piss her off again!

"Both."

I relaxed and I was able to bring _her_ smile to my face and I could see her soften. Worked better than I thought it would, good to know. She smiled back and the rain softened to a light mist. "I won't tell anyone," I promised.

"Except every one of your friends."

I shook my head and raised my hand to make a vow. "I promise not to think of it."

She laughed and I knew she would stay. "If I get hurt, it was because I tripped."

"Whatever you say."

It was great we walked back to the house and grabbed the bikes and road all over La Push. Soon we were both covered in mud and I was starving to death so we went back to the house. Dad was nice to Bella and I could see the genuine smile on his face, he was glad she was back. I made us some sandwiches and after eating we went back to the garage to clean up the bikes. There was mud all over them so we sprayed them down with some water and dried them off with some old towel. It made me thirsty so I reached inside the garage for the soda that I kept there.

"This is nice," Bella commented when I handed the soda to her. "I've missed this place."

It made me happy that Bella enjoyed being here so much and missed it, it was such a simple garage that was anything but fancy. "Yeah, I can understand that. All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India."

"To Washington's little Taj Mahal," she raised her can up and I toasted mine against hers.

I could feel her arm brush against mine from sitting next to her. "Do you remember last Valentine's Day? I think that was the last time you were here – the last time when things were still . . . normal, I mean."

She laughed. "Of course I remember. I traded a lifetime of servitude for a box of conversation hearts. That's not something I'm likely to forget."

I laughed as well, I had almost forgotten that. "That's right. Hmm, servitude. I'll have to think of something good." Like maybe you staying here, forever. I sighed. "It feels like it was years ago. Another era. A happier one."

The rain started again outside and I could feel a light breeze coming through the garage. I brushed my fingers across her cold hand. "Things have really changed."

"Yeah." She reached her hand out touching the wheel of her bike. "Charlie _used_ to like me. I hope Billy doesn't say anything about today . . ." She said as she bit her lip.

"He won't. He doesn't get worked up about things the way Charlie does. Hey, I never did apologize officially for that stupid move with the bike. I'm really sorry about ratting you out to Charlie. I wish I hadn't."

She rolled her eyes. "Me, too."

"I'm really, really sorry." I hoped that she could see how true those words were, there was nothing that I regretted more. Well except for maybe answering that stupid phone, but that is not the point.

"Oh, fine! You're forgiven."

"Thanks, Bells!"

We grinned at each for a moment and then I remembered something about that day that has been haunting me. "You know that day, when I brought the bike over . . . I've been wanting to ask you something," I said slowly. "But also . . . not wanting to." She sat very still, almost too still. "Were you just being stubborn because you were mad at me, were you really serious?" I whispered.

"About what?" She whispered back, but her whispering gave away that she knew what I was asking.

It was irritating and I glared back at her. "You know. When you said it was none of my business . . . if – if he bit you." I cringed and my stomach twisted inside.

"Jake. . ."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I couldn't just drop it. "Were you serious?" I could feel my body tremble and I kept my eyes closed.

"Yes," she whispered.

I inhaled, slow and deep. "I guess I knew that. You know what this will mean?" I demanded feeling the anger build inside of me. "You do understand that, don't you? What will happen if they break the treaty?"

"We'll leave first," she said softly.

My eyes flashed open, filled with anger and pain. I couldn't believe that they had actually put this much thought into it. "There wasn't a geographic limit to the treaty, Bella. Our great-grandfathers only agreed to keep the peace because the Cullens swore that they were different, that humans weren't in danger from them. The promised they would never kill or change anyone ever again. If they go back on their word, the treaty is meaningless, and they are no different than any other vampire. Once that's established, when we find them again – " All hell will break loose and the war we have been waiting for will finally happen.

"But, Jake, didn't you break the treaty already? Wasn't part of it that you not tell people about the vampires? And you told me. So isn't the treaty sort of moot, anyhow?"

I hated that she was right. "Yeah, I broke the treaty – back before I believed any of it. And I'm sure they were informed of that." Thanks to you. "But it's not like that gives them a freebie or anything. There's no fault for a fault. They have only one option if they object to what I did. The same option we'll have when they break the treaty: to attack. To start the war."

She shuddered. "Jake, it doesn't have to be that way."

My teeth ground together. "It _is_ that way." My words hung in the air filling the silence.

"Will you never forgive me, Jacob?" She whispered.

I could feel my heart hurting from the intensity of her question. "You won't be Bella anymore. My friend won't exist. There'll be no one to forgive." How do you forgive someone who has taken their own life?

"That sounds like a no," she whispered. We looked into each other's eyes and I could see my pain reflected in her eyes. "Is this goodbye then, Jake?"

My eye blinked several times as surprise melted away my anger. "Why? We still have a few years. Can't we be friends until we're out of time?" I couldn't let go of wanting to keep her with me as long as I could.

"Years? No, Jake, not years." She shook her head and gave a strange dry laugh. "_Weeks_ is more accurate."

I leaped to my feet needing space and both hands clinched into fists, I didn't even realize there was a can in my hand spraying soda everywhere. There was part of me that heard Bella scream out my name and was aware that I was drenching her with soda, however there was a much bigger part of me that was about to turn wolf. I was so angry and I could feel my body shaking so hard that my bones started shifting probably blurring, I could feel the wolf trying to take over. I couldn't let the beast within me win, I was determined to remain in control. I squeezed my eyes closed and concentrated on keeping my shape.

When I got to where only my hands shook I was able to speak. "Weeks." Bella's silence was fueling my fury. I opened my eyes and saw her fear of me and I about lost it. "He's going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks!" I hissed trying hard to keep control despite the furious anger that soared through me.

Bella couldn't speak and shook her head in affirmation.

Immediately my stomach rolled and I thought I was going to throw up. I have never felt so sick and repulsed, this could not be happening. I heard Bella rambling but I couldn't focus on what she was saying, until I heard two of the worst things ever spoken.

"He's all I want. What else can I do?"

"Anything." I yelled. "Anything else. You'd be better off dead. I'd rather you were." I didn't even realize that I had said until I saw her flinch like I had hit her.

Her face revealed the pain my words had caused and then I saw it quickly replaced with anger. "Maybe you'll get lucky." She lurched to her feet. "Maybe I'll get hit by a truck on my way back."

She grabbed her bike and pushed it out into the rain. I knew I should make her stop and that I needed to apologize for what I had said, but at the moment the words were trapped inside and I couldn't move. I stood there for a long time the words that I had said spinning around flogging me repeatedly. Finally I walked back to the house not caring about the rain soaking my clothes, my steps were slow and sluggish. What have I done?

I grabbed the cordless phone and dialed the number for Bella's house. On the third ring Charlie answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Jake. Is Bella there?" I asked nervously.

"I'm sorry Jacob she is having a sleep over with Alice for the weekend."

"Yeah, I forgot. How could I have been so stupid?"

"Calm down, Jake. Do you want their phone number? You can call her over there."

"No, not a good idea. She would probably kill me if I tried that." I took a deep sigh, bummed that I wasn't going to be able to fix things with Bella tonight. "Can you tell her I called." I said sadly.

"Sure. Anything else?"

"Yeah, just tell her I didn't mean it and that I'm sorry. Really, really sorry."

"Will do kiddo. Don't worry, she is not the type to stay angry very long."

"I'll be counting on that. Goodnight Charlie." I hung up the phone and wandered to my room slumping hard on my bed. This was going to be a terrible night, I hated what I said, and that Bella was mad at me. What was worse is that I knew she had every right to be furious. I just hoped that Charlie was right and that she would forgive me.

FACTS

- It feels like this is obvious but want to officially say that Jacob did not imprint on Bella. He actually tries in this chapter to see if there is something he can do to make himself imprint and it doesn't happen.

- Quote from Become Jacob Black, so "you" is Jacob. I wanted to quote this to show the magnitude of what it feels like when he thinks of Bella becoming a vampire. "You have to fight harder than you ever have before to keep your shape. The rest of the conversation means nothing. Bella wants to be a vampire. She doesn't realize that this change is just another form of death – worse than any other."

* So certainly Jacob should not have said that she would be better of dead, BUT I do believe that he meant what he said. And that to Jacob for her to become a vampire would be worse than if she were killed. That also does not mean that he isn't sorry that he said it (just because he meant it) it is clear that he regrets saying it not long after he said it.

**Chapter 5 – BREAKFAST with BELLA**

I woke up the next morning feeling pretty terrible. Bella had cried, talked, and moaned most of the night. The crying was easiest to handle – which is saying a lot – I would just hold her tight and rub her back, sometimes she would be awake and other times she cried in her sleep. Her talking and moaning wouldn't have been so bad if it had been _my _name she was saying. She would hold me so tightly and rub her body against me, it was the most pleasurable torture I have ever had.

It didn't take me long to realize that it was Bella's tears that awakened me once again. She had her head resting on my shoulder and the tear slipped under my shirt and tickled as it slid down my chest until being absorbed into the cloth. Half way through the night I got tired of having her tears roll across my chest so I got up and put on a sleeveless white undershirt, it helped. It was that same time that Bella was sweating through the sweatshirt, so I got a normal t-shirt for her from my closet. I stayed in my room, but turned my back so that she could change her shirt and then we both went back to sleep.

Like all the other times that her tears awakened me, I wrapped both my arms around her pulling her closer to my chest and ran my fingers through her long hair. It was messy from the restless sleep, but still beautiful and extremely soft. She squeezed my shoulder and softly rubbed the muscles in my arm between my shoulder and elbow rubbing around in a large circle. After a few minutes she took a deep breath and lifted up on her elbow and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Thanks, Jake. That couldn't have been a very good night for you." She whispered, her voice was hoarse from crying.

"It wasn't the best night sleep I have ever had."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here." She sat completely up and pulled the blanket that had tangled around her legs.

"Woe, wait Bella." I sat up as well and reached out to grab her hand to keep her from going anywhere. "I just meant that I didn't get a lot of sleep, not that I didn't enjoy you being here."

"Either way, it is not fair to you."

"Don't worry about me. Seriously, there is no where I would rather you be." I looked at her face and once again the tears were steaming down her cheeks. "Come here, Bells."

She shook her head and took two deep breaths. "No, I'm done crying." She took my hand and interlaced our fingers together.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened?" I asked cautiously.

"I know I need to. I'm so sorry Jake." She leaned over wrapping her arms around me and I did the same.

"How about I go first." Against my chest she nodded her head, so I told her about going out and meeting with Edward.

She pushed herself from me, however remained sitting. "You met with Edward! When?"

"It was while Embry stayed here with you."

"That's right, I completely forgot that Embry was here last night. He failed to mention that Edward was the 'pack thing' you needed to deal with." She grumbled. "Edward didn't do anything stupid did he? He won't like it that I'm here."

"Nothing too stupid. He was walking up and down the border and threatened to cross unless I would come out. You are right he didn't like that you were here, but really he just seemed to want confirmation that you were being taken care of." I reached out and took her hand again.

"Well that is none of his business now."

"I guess, yeah," I shrugged. "He mentioned that you broke up with him."

"Yeah, sort of." How do you 'sort of' break up with someone? I wanted to ask, until she brought one arm tightly around herself and tried to bring the one I was holding as well. She was trying to hold herself together like she used to.

"No Bella, not again." I let go of her hand and pulled her into my lap, while I encased both arms tightly around her. She wasn't going to be the one to hold herself together this time. Her body started shaking, once again I rubbed her back as her tears soaked through the fabric of my shirt.

I heard dad roll over in bed and through the window I could see the morning light pouring inside.

"Bella, I need to get my dad up. You can stay here as long as you need."

She took a deep breath, and wiped her tears. "No, I need to get up and stretch. I'll go see what I can do about breakfast while you get Billy."

We both got up and she stopped by the bathroom, while I went to Billy's room. He was sitting up in bed reading. "Hey Dad." I grabbed him a long sleeve shirt from his closet and tossed it to him while he removed his pajama shirt and put the new one on.

"How did things go with Bella?" He asked.

"Alright I guess. I didn't get a lot of sleep, but I can make that up later." I took his jeans from the drawer and tossed them to him as well. He is able to move his legs and could stand if he needed too, but doesn't have much feeling in them which is why he can't walk, so he removed his pajama pants and put his jeans on.

"Yeah I heard her crying some and talking."

I cringed. "You heard that, uh. Well whatever you think you heard, nothing happened. Bella is just a very . . . ah . . . active sleeper."

He chuckled, "Well that is good, because Charlie is joining us for breakfast."

"He is?"

"Yep, and he needs answers."

"Well he is going to have to talk to Bella for that, I'm not saying any more than I already have. Partly because I don't know anymore, but the other is I don't want Bella thinking that I can't be trusted."

"I understand." He moved himself to the edge of the bed while I walked over and placed him in his chair.

"I'm going to help Bella with breakfast." I walked out while Dad went to his bathroom, and I went to my own to use the restroom and brush my teeth.

When I stepped out I could already smell some good stuff coming from the kitchen. She had chopped up some onion and potatoes and was cooking them on the stove top.

"Hey Bells."

She smiled when I walked in. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, still a little messy, but I could tell that she had tried to get it to calm down. She was still in my sweatpants, they were way too long and she pulled the elastic up around her knees and the extra length came down just above her ankle and she had my shirt on. Man she looked good in my clothes.

"Hey, yourself," she blushed and I assume I was staring too long.

"Can I help with something?"

"Sure, I was going to scramble some eggs, you can crack them. I was going too, but I honestly didn't have any idea how many you would eat."

I laughed. "That is a common problem, I never know how many I am going to eat."

She playfully punched me in the arm and I got a large bowl out and started cracking eggs. "Billy mentioned that Charlie would be joining us for breakfast."

Her eyes got huge. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No, it's just weird." She found some sausage in the refrigerator and tore it into small chunks adding it skillet and washed her hands.

"Why?"

"_Me _staying the night here, wearing your clothes, and having breakfast with our dads. Doesn't that seem a little strange?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well just know that your dad is going to want some answers. He was really freaked out last night." Billy said as he rolled in surprising us both a little.

"Hey Billy," Bella acknowledged. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Anytime, you know you are always welcome, especially if you make breakfast." He said with a smile. "Is there anything you want help with?"

"Nope."

"Okay, just ignore me then." He got the coffee maker out of the pantry along with the filter and grounds and assembled the coffee. Once it started peculating he rolled himself into the living room and turned on the TV.

"I just don't know what to tell Charlie." Bella continued. She grabbed the bread from the pantry and pulled out several slices to make toast.

"Just start with the truth."

"That my vampire boyfriend was an idiot."

"Okay, how about half of the truth. I'm sure it won't take much to convince Charlie that Edward is an idiot." I tried to keep the disgust at that stupid bloodsucker out of my voice, not really sure if it worked or not.

"Well that is true, Charlie was never much of a fan. You should have seen him sulking every time Edward walked through the door." She laughed, even thought I wasn't really getting the humor behind it. "Charlie would huff and puff, like Edward really needed the theatrics to know that he wasn't wanted."

Right the whole mind reading thing. "So is that why you broke up with him?"

"No, even though I'm sure that Charlie would like to think so."

I mixed the cracked eggs and added some milk before getting out a skillet to cook the eggs. We both stood in front of the stove top her mixing her skillet and me stirring the eggs. "Do you mind backing up a step for me? How were you able to just take him back so easily, it seemed that things just went back like before. Like . . . well you know . . . never happened." I knew that she didn't really like to talk about her zombie stage and honestly I really didn't enjoy thinking about it either.  
"Well it wasn't quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, I took him back, but that is because he had a really good reason for leaving me."

"Come on Bells, get real."

"Not even you would blame him for leaving me, if you knew the reason why."

Oh, this I have got to hear, there is no way. "Okay," I challenged. "Amaze me."

She paused while she turned her burner to low and started putting pieces of bread into the toaster, as she spoke she would replace the toasted bread with new and repeat. "Edward left me last fall because he didn't think I should be hanging out with vampires. He thought it would be healthier for me if he left."

Well I admit that was different than what I was expecting, I always thought of them as so selfish, never taking into consideration other people. It made me wonder how much of it was actually true. If that were the case than he should have stayed away. "He came back, though, didn't he?" I muttered. "Too bad he can't stick to a decision."

"If you remember, I went and got him."

"Wow, thanks for the reminder there Bella. How could I possibly have forgotten that?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're missing the point, for me it wasn't about why he left. I really was completely able to forgive him for that. He was doing what _he_ thought was best. The problem that I had was that he didn't even ask me, he just made a massively huge decision about _my _life, and that is what I had a problem with."

"Okay, I can see that. So why break up with him now?"

"Well for one he promised to never do it again and I believed him. The other, I'm a little surprised you can't figure that one out on your own. You were the one who told me about it."

I thought for a moment not really sure, then I remembered her face when she realized the real reason for their sudden trip to Florida. "Because he took you out of town?"

"It is a little more complicated than that. Alice got her vision about Victoria while we were all at school and I asked Edward about it, and he completely lied to my face about what it was about. Made up some stupid answer about her being worried about Jasper. Not to mention after we both got back from Italy I told him that he was to never make another decision for me."

"You are right, he is an idiot."

"It was actually him that asked if it were a deal breaker if he did it again. I remembered being shocked and would never dream of breaking up with him, but the moment that he asked me I knew that what he asked was the truth. So when he did it again, you could sort of say he broke up with me, but I was the one who actually followed through with it and left."

She took a deep sigh and I could see the sadness seep back into her eyes. I was surprised that she was able to talk so easily for so long.

"It's okay Bella." I flicked the switch on the burners turning them both off and reached out for Bella's hand, I rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand.

"Thanks, Jake." She turned me to face her and pulled me towards her so that she could wrap both arms around my waist. At times it was easy to forget that I am so much taller than her except when I hold her like this. I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss in her hair and rested my cheek on her head.

I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up to the house. As the front door opened, Bella pulled back from my arms and wiped the tears from her eyes. I didn't see his face when he first walked in, but as I turned around to face him I saw the love, concern, and fear for his hurting daughter.

"Bells!" He took two long strides and wrapped his arms around Bella. I knew that neither were real affectionate, however it was good to see her hold on tightly to her father.

I backed away to let them have their moment and did the finishing touches on breakfast. I grabbed a couple fold up chairs from the closet and set plates and utensils on the table. I heard Bella mumble her thanks to Charlie and reassured him that everything would be okay. Charlie went and spoke a little to Billy while I got two mugs and poured their coffee, while Bella got two glasses and filled them with orange juice.

We all gathered around the table and had a great breakfast. It was strange how completely normal it felt. Dad and Charlie talked of sports and made arrangements for their next fishing trip, Bella was quiet and I could see that she was working out in her mind what she needed to say to Charlie. He was being really gracious with her silence, but in each lull in the conversation I could see him watching Bella and I both very closely. I didn't have anything to hide however his scrutiny was a little daunting at times.

"Jake, I saw Bella's truck on the side of the road. Have you had a chance to look at it yet?" Charlie said.

"No, it was pretty late when I learned that it broke down. I'll look at it today."

"Are you going to school today?" Charlie asked.

I looked over at Dad, "I hadn't thought about it." That was the truth, school had not crossed my mind at all. I wonder if Bella was planning to go today.

"I think that you can make up school another time." Billy said, and I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Thanks, Dad." I smiled over at Bella, and she looked even more nervous than she was before. She was biting hard on her bottom lip, it was clear she did not want to go to school today. I looked over at Charlie and he seemed to have a strange look on his face, his eye brows came together a little. Maybe he was trying to decide if Bella was going to have to go to school today or not.

For the first time that morning the silence that filled the room was sort of awkward. I had the feeling that Charlie wanted to talk to Bella by herself. "Actually I had better look at that now so I will have time to get any parts if needed."

"I'll pay for whatever parts are needed, just let me know." Charlie, seemed to know that I was making an excuse to leave and I could see the gratitude in his eyes.

I quickly changed to my oil stained jeans and tennis shoes, and decided to skip the t-shirt. I found Bella's jeans laid over my desk so they could dry from the day before and her keys were in her pocket. I picked them up and headed towards the door, I could see the panic in Bella's eyes as I was leaving her, and I hated it.

"Here, I'll come with you," she stood from the table.

"Bella, please. I need you to talk to me." Charlie pleaded.

"I will Dad, I promise. But I want Jake here."

I looked between Charlie and Bella not knowing what I should do. Do I stay here for Bella? Or do I leave because her father wants to talk to her alone? I threw a glance at Dad hoping that he would be able to help me out.

**Author's Note**: If some of you feel that Bella is over reacting, there is something else that has happened in regards to Alice's vision. Unfortunately, that will not be revealed until much later. But I will say this, Alice's vision in regards to Victoria is not the ONLY vision that Edward is keeping from Bella.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - REGRET **

What a strange weekend this was turning out to be. First I was excited because I thought Bella was coming over, and then after she couldn't I was able to get her and spend a pretty great day with her until I had to screw it up by saying the worst thing imaginable to her. All morning long I waited by the phone anxious for her to call, pacing back and forth all over my tiny house driving my dad insane. I told my dad everything that had happened and he promised to find me if Bella called me back, as long as I got out of the house. I was so pissed off at myself that I have spent most of the day as a wolf running and running.

Any wolf on patrol did the best they could to just ignore me, but that was never possible, however I never acknowledged anyone or said anything to them. For lunch I stopped by Emily's for some food, but I was still pretty upset. However, by now the guys were tired of my silence.

"What's going on Jake?" Embry asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." I took several large bites of my lunch trying to pretend that no one else was here.

"What did Bella do this time?" Jared asked.

"I said . . . I don't . . . want . . . to talk about it!" I yelled emphasizing each phrase. It really bothered me that they naturally assumed that it was something that Bella had done. When in reality this was all completely on me. I knew I should say something in Bella's defense, but I just didn't feel it was really any of their business.

"Whatever it was, we all know that he'll take her back again." Paul rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you're right Paul. 'Cause we all know that I am just such a push over." I sneered. I got up from the table and left the house.

I ducked into the trees, removed my clothes, and phased. There is no other way to completely relieve the tension than phasing, my wolf processes emotions easier than I can. I had been running for hours thankful for the freedom and silence. I felt someone phase in, but I just ignored them, I had too many other things to think about.

_God, Jake just when I thought things couldn't get worse for you_. Leah laughed.

_Either shut up or go away._ I growled.

_You' can't tell me what to do. _

_Would you rather I get Sam? _

_Jerk. _

_Bitch. _

_Ouch, don't hurt my feelings._ Leah mocked.

_Besides I'm second in command, so I CAN tell you what to do. _

_Whatever. Just keep your pathetic love life to yourself._

_Like yours is any better. _

_That is completely different and you know it. _

_Yeah, but at least I stand a chance with the one I'm pining after. _

Her growling ricocheted through the trees as she called me every dirty name you could think of. I can't say I didn't deserve it, that was a pretty low blow.

_Leah, I'm sorry._ She didn't acknowledge me, however her thoughts went back to the task of patrolling so that she could get it over with.

I wasn't far from the cliffs so I decided to run there. I phased back, slipped my shorts on and sat down at the edge watching the waves below. There was a time when sitting so high might have made me nervous, but after jumping off this thing so many times it wasn't a big deal any longer. The sun was extremely hot today and I could feel it piercing into my skin, it was a welcome relief when it started making it's descent. I was about to stand up and jump into the water when I saw someone swimming. Even though she was tiny from up here I could see that she had long arms and legs and I could see her hair pulled back in a bun on her head, so I assumed it was a girl. She was doing laps, she would get several meters out and turn around and swim back towards the shore till the water came just past her knee and then she would go back into the water.

Even after it was completely dark, I enjoyed watching her swim back and forth. Suddenly, as she was heading back towards the ocean I heard her scream and then her head went completely under the water. Without further thought I stood and jumped from the cliff and started swimming towards her. As I approached her head was back over the water, but she was flailing both her arms and legs, I stood in the water, it coming up past my shoulders.

I reached out for her shoulders and her elbow came and hit me hard in the chest, surprised that someone was with her she screamed again.

"Jackie, calm down."

Once I spoke, she recognized my voice. "Jake!" She yelled as she flung both arms around my neck.

Her legs were still kicking wildly, so I gently placed my hands on her waist. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I was swimming and I could have swore I felt something slide around my legs. I kicked and I think I hit my foot hard on a rock." Her chest was still heaving from her anxiety. "I tried to stand up, and didn't realize that I had swam out farther than I could stand and dunked myself."

"Come on lets get you on the beach and we can check on your foot and legs."

"Okay, thanks."

I left one arm around her waist and she hung tightly to my neck as I walked towards the beach. The water was at my waist when I thought we would check and see if she could walk on her own. "Do you want to try and walk?"

"Okay, this is so unlike me I never hurt myself like this."

"Don't worry, I'll catch you." She tried to put her foot down and I saw her wince from the feel. "Come on, it's not worth it I'll carry you."

"I'm not exactly tiny." She tried to protest.

"Neither am I. I am pretty sure I can mange." I put my other arm behind her knees and carried her. As we came out of the water she pulled herself a little tighter to me, I could tell that she was cold. "Do you normally swim so late at night?"

"Either swim or run, whatever keeps me out."

"Do you not like to go home?"

"You remember my mom got remarried a few years ago. It is just different now."

"Yeah." I shrugged. I probably wouldn't have remembered it, but it was the same summer as my sister's wedding and I just felt surrounded by wedding stuff.

"Didn't I catch the bouquet and you catch the guarder?"

"Yes, Quil and Embry paid me five bucks each if I would stand there and promised to double it if I actually caught it."

I carried her completely out of the water and looked for a place to set her down so I could look at her foot. There was a breeze in the air and any part of her body that wasn't touching me was covered in goosebumps. "My towel is just by that driftwood tree, can you take me to it."

"Sure." I looked and saw it on the bench of the tree that I considered to be my tree with Bella. Great, it just had to be there of all places. I sat her on the bench and she immediately grabbed the towel and wrapped it tightly around her shoulders. I knelt down in front of her with one knee up and placed her foot on my knee. I could see that the top of her foot was very purple and bruised and it looked to be a little swollen. As I pressed on different areas I could see her wince, but she never complained. "I think you are going to want some ice on that pretty soon."

"Do you mind just staying here with me for a little bit?"

"Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded her head in affirmation. "Okay." I came and sat next to her.

She lifted one of my arms and draped it around her. "Does that bother you?" She asked.

"No, it's fine." It made sense for me to be a human heater. The towel was still cloaked around her and I unconsciously rubbed my hand up and down her arm while she rested her head just above my shoulder almost to my neck.

We sat there for a while both lost in our own thoughts. I knew how much I hated the idea of Bella becoming a vampire, but was it really worse than her being really dead. In my mind I couldn't get past feeling that instinct to kill and to think of either myself or one of my brothers ripping Bella to pieces it hurt more than to think of her dying and her soul going up into the heavens.

Bringing me back into the present I could feel Jackie's lips lightly graze my neck. Did she just kiss me? It continued two, three times until she took a little of my skin into her mouth. "Whoa, what are you doing?" I leaned my upper body back.

"What do you think?" She brought her hand around to the back of my head as she pressed her chest into mine.

"We can't do this."

"Why not? No one else is here, and you know I have liked you forever."

"I know you have, but I don't see you that way." I shook my head and her arm fell from my neck and she rested it on my chest.

"But you might if you tried."

"It's not that simple."

"Maybe it's not, but it could be."

"You don't want me to make out with you just because it is convenient."

"You sure about that?" She smiled, but leaned her body away.

"Yes, I'm sure. That would be cruel and disrespectful to give you that kind of false hope." I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I'm not the right guy for you."

"You don't know that because you have never given me a chance."

"I can see where it might look like that, I know it because my heart belongs to someone else." Right before she looked down I saw the hurt and sadness on her face. "I like being with you when I can, but I can't be any more than a friend to you."

"I understand."

"Come on, lets get you home." I put my arm back around her waist to help her stand, by now her foot was badly swollen and I worried that it might be broken. I placed my other arm back behind her knees and picked her up. "Where's your car?"

"Just up ahead. Do you think I'll be able to drive?"

"Why don't I drive you home, that way I can carry you inside. It doesn't do much good for you to drive home if you are stuck in your car."

"Good point."

There was a small pouch with the towel that held her keys, so I picked it up and carried her to the car. I got her in the passenger seat and then I drove her home. Jackie's parents owned the resort that was just on the other side of town. I pulled up to her large two story home and came around to help her stand. I was going to carry her again, but she just put an arm around my shoulders and I had one hand at the small of her back as she hopped on one foot to her front door. As she pulled out her house key the door flew open and her step dad opened the door.

"Where have you been?" He yelled.

She tried to take a step back, but winced on her hurt foot. I moved my hand around to her waist to steady her. "I was swimming, it's no big deal."

"Who's the latest guy you're bringing home now? He is already half naked, I doubt he will last any longer than the others." He mocked.

I saw her flinch like she had been slapped by his words and it made me angry. "I'm Jacob. Jacob Black." Even though most of the time I found it annoying, my last name held respect in our community, and I saw the recognition in his eyes when I said it.

Before I could say more Jackie's mom came in. "Hello, Jacob nice to see you."

"You too, Mrs. LaPlante."

"Jackie, what happened to your foot?" She came around and took my place as Jackie's support.

"It's nothing really," Jackie down played it. "Just some ice and rest and I'm sure it will be fine. Thanks for bringing me home, Jake."

"Anytime." I leaned over and kissed her cheek, so that I could whisper in her ear. "Call me if you need anything."

She nodded her head and I slipped out the front door.

After such a strange day I have had I was ready to get home. When I got there I double checked with dad and Bella never called. I laid down feeling miserable, the last words that had left my mouth were haunting me like some broken record repeating itself over and over. It turns out even my dreams were mocking me and it was a welcome relief when I woke up to the sound of the phone.

On the second ring I answered. "Hello?"

"Jacob?"

"Bella!" I exclaimed. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry!" I didn't know how much time I would have and tried speaking as fast as I could. "I swear I didn't mean it. I was just being stupid. I was angry – but that's no excuse. It was the stupidest thing I've ever said in my life and I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, please? Please. Lifetime of servitude up for grabs – all you have to do is forgive me."

"I'm not mad. You're forgiven."

"Thank you," I relaxed and was able to start breathing once again. "I can't believe I was such a jerk."

"Don't worry about that – I'm used to it."

I laughed in relief, but I wasn't really sure if that was a compliment or if I should be offended. "Come down to see me," I begged. "I want to make it up to you."

"How?"

"Anything you want. Cliff diving," I suggested, laughing because I knew it was a horrible suggestion.

"Oh, _there's_ a brilliant idea."

"I'll keep you safe," I promised. "No matter what you want to do."

There was a short pause. "Not right now."

"_He's_ not thrilled with me, is he?" And unfortunately I knew that he had every right to be angry with me.

"That's not the problem. There's . . . well, there's this other problem that's slightly more worrisome than a bratty teenage werewolf . . ."

I could tell she was trying to make a joke, which just gave away that something was really not right at all. "What's wrong?" I demanded.

"Um." There was a lengthy pause and I wasn't sure what was going on.

"Bella?" I asked.

"Do you mind speaking to Edward?" She asked. "He wants to talk to you."

This was really strange and sort of freaky. "Okay," I finally agreed. "This should be interesting."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - SCENT**

I heard the phone exchange hands. "Hello, Jacob," Edward said perfectly calm.

"What is going on?" I asked, fully in 'pack mode'.

"Someone was here . . ."

"That red headed leech" I interrupted.

". . . not a scent I know." Edward added. "Has your pack come across anything new?"

"No there has not been any activity on our side."

"Here's the crux, Jacob. I won't be letting Bella out of my sight till I get this taken care of. It's nothing person . . ."

"Yeah you bet it is not. You know very well that we have protected Bella before and we are just as capable of protecting her now."

"You might be right . . ."

"We should at least be able to pursue regardless of crossing out of our own land, without breaking the treaty."

"That's an interesting suggestion. We're quite willing to renegotiate. If Sam is amenable."

"I'll talk to Sam."

"Thank you," Edward replied. I rolled my eyes, he is the most thankful leech ever.

"What about when you do your bloodsucking activities? What will you do then?"

"I'd planned to go alone, actually and leave her with the others."

"You know that really isn't necessary, the entire reservation is under constant patrols no one would be able to get past us all. "

"I'll try to consider it objectively," Edward promised. "As objectively as I'm capable of." Well that at least sounded honest.

"At least let me come down there so that we can get the smell so we know if it comes on our area, we will know if it is the same one who was there." I reasoned.

"That's not a half-bad idea. When?"

"I could come now. Is that going to be a problem?"

"No, that's fine. I'd like a chance to follow the trail personally, anyways. Ten minutes."

"I'll be there."

"Certainly." Edward said. "Bella?" I assume he was talking to her and not calling me by the wrong name.

I heard the phone switch hands again. "What was that all about?" I could hear the irritation in her voice, she was always being left out.

"A truce, I think. Hey, do me a favor," I suggested. "Try and convince your bloodsucker that the safest place for you to be – especially when he leaves – is on the reservation. We're well able to handle anything."

"Is that what you were trying to sell him?"

"Yes. It makes sense. Charlie's probably better off here, too. As much as possible." I always knew it was good to through in her concern for Charlie to get her to do what I want.

"Get Billy on it," she agreed. "What else?"

"Just rearranging some boundaries, so we can catch anyone who gets too near Forks. I'm not sure if Sam will go for it, but until he comes around, I'll keep an eye on things."

"What do you mean by 'keep an eye on things'?"

"I mean that if you see a wolf running around your house, don't shoot at it."

"Of course not. You really shouldn't do anything . . . risky, though."

I snorted, like being a wolf was risky. "Don't be stupid. I can take care of myself." I heard her sigh into the phone. "I also tried to convince him to let you visit. He's prejudiced, so don't let him give you any crap about safety. He knows as well as I do that you'd be safe here."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"See you in a few," I said.

"You're coming up?"

"Yeah. I'm going to get the scent of your visitor so we can track him if he comes back."

"Jake, I really don't like the idea of you tracking – "

"Oh _please_, Bella," I interrupted, as I laughed and hung up. She is such a silly girl.

I immediately went outside to phase and headed towards Forks. As I approached Bella's house I could smell Edward's trail from the house so I knew he wasn't there so I walked up to the door and rang the bell.

"Come in, Jake!" She shouted.

I turned the knob and was surprised that I was able to walk right in. She had filled the sink with bubbly water and was piling the dishes inside. "Should you really leave your door unlocked like that?" It surprised me that she didn't hear me come in and it was so Bella for her to splash herself when she jumped. "Oh, sorry." I didn't mean to startle her.

"I'm not worried about anyone who would be deterred by a locked door," she said as she wiped the front of her shirt with a towel.

"Good point," I agreed.

She turned and gave me a critical look, and I wasn't sure what for. "Is it really so impossible to wear clothes, Jacob?" She asked. I thought it was interesting that my lack of clothes seemed to bother her, she has seen me shirtless countless number of times. As her eyes looked over my body, I swear she was checking me out. "I mean, I know you don't get cold anymore, but still."

I ran my hand through my hair getting the longer strands out of my eyes. "It's just easier," I explained.

"What's easier?"

I smiled, surprised that she couldn't put the pieces together. She has seen us as wolves, right before her eyes our clothes ripping into tiny pieces as Paul and I attacked each other. "It's enough of a pain to carry the shorts around with me, let alone a complete outfit. What do I look like, a pack mule?"

She frowned. "What are you talking about, Jacob?"

Wow, it was so obvious and she was just missing it. "My clothes don't just pop in and out of existence when I change – I have to carry them with me while I run. Pardon me for keeping my burden light."

I saw her start to blush. "I guess I didn't think about that," she muttered.

I laughed and pointed to the leather cord at my ankle. "That's more than just a fashion statement – it sucks to carry jeans in your mouth." I watch her processing my words, trying to think of something else to say. I grinned. "Does my being half-naked bother you?"

"No." She said, way too fast. I laughed at her lie, as she turned her head in a full on blush. I wondered if she was just embarrassed she couldn't figure that out on her own or if she was actually picturing me really naked.

"Well, I suppose I should get to work." I sighed. "I wouldn't want to give him an excuse to say I'm slacking on my side."

"Jacob, it's not your job – "

I raised my hand, cutting off her comment, I was glad to be here. "I'm working on a volunteer basis here. Now, where is the intruder's scent the worst?"

"My bedroom, I think."

I narrowed my eyes more I didn't like that at all. "I'll just be a minute."

I darted up the stairs, the closer I got the worse the smell got. As I pushed Bella's door further open the smell was horrible, well truthfully the whole house stunk, but I could smell a distinctly different smell other than Edward. Even Edward's smell was more powerful up here, it was clear he spent more time up here than any other part of the house. I wasn't crazy about that either.

I came back down the stairs and Bella was back again with the dishes at the sink, I walked up behind her. "Whew!" I said. She jumped at my voice, once again I didn't realize she didn't know I was there.

"Yeesh, Jake, cut that out!"

Again she splashed water on herself and the counter, she is going to be completely soaked soon. "Sorry. Here – " I took the towel and mopped up the counter and her shirt. "I'll make it up to you. You wash, I'll rinse and dry."

"Fine." She said as she handed me the plate.

"Well, the scent was easy enough to catch. By the way, your room reeks."

"I'll buy some air freshener."

I laughed, and we settled into a comfortable silence. The dishes were very rhythmic how she would pass them to me as I rinsed and dried. Everything with her was just easier.

"Can I ask you something?"

She handed me another plate. "That depends on what you want to know."

"I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything – I'm honestly curious," I assured her.

"Fine. Go ahead."

I paused to decide which question to ask first. "What's it like – having a vampire for a boyfriend?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's the best."

"I'm serious. The idea doesn't bother you – it never creeps you out?"

"Never."

Wow, that takes being good with weird to a whole different level. I wonder if that means that she also kisses him. I couldn't imagine it, I wanted to ask, but it wasn't my place.

"Anything else?" She asked.

She knew me so well that I felt like I pretty much knew what my question was going to be. "Well . . . I was wondering . . . do you . . . y'know, _kiss_ him?"

She laughed. "Yes."

I shuddered. "Ugh." That is so gross.

"To each her own," she muttered.

"You don't worry about the fangs?"

She smacked my arm, splashing me with dishwater. "Shut up, Jacob! You know he doesn't have fangs!"

"Close enough," I muttered.

I watched her washing a knife, debating with myself if I was going to ask the next question. Why did I need to torture myself in knowing more about when she planned to end her life? But I couldn't let it go. "Can I ask another one?" I asked softly as she passed the knife to me. "Just curious, again."

"Fine," she snapped.

I ran the knife under the water turning it over and over. "You said a few weeks . . . When, exactly . . .?" I couldn't finish. Why couldn't I let this go?

"Graduation," she whispered back matching my own soft voice.

"So soon," I took a breath and closed my eyes. I didn't want the anger that usually soared through my body when I thought about this, but I couldn't keep it from coming. I could feel my arms start to shake and I clinched my fists tightly to try and control them, forgetting that I had a knife in my hand and the sharp blade sliced through the palm of my hand.

"OW!" I shouted, causing Bella to jump. It took a moment to relax my hand and allow the knife to fall to the ground as my blood followed leaving drops on the floor. "Damn it! Ouch!" I complained.

Bella clutched onto the kitchen counter and looked to be sick. "Oh, no, Jacob! Oh, crap! Here, wrap this around it!" She shoved the dish towel that I was using to dry at me as she reached for my hand.  
"It's nothing, Bella, don't worry about it."

She took a deep breath. "Don't worry? You sliced your hand open!"

There was no reason to get blood all over the towel when my body would heal the cut quickly. I let the water run over my hand carrying the blood down the drain. There was nothing more that really needed to be done as I looked at Bella I saw she really didn't look very good. "Bella," I said.

She looked up at my face. "What?"

"You look like you're going to pass out, and you're biting your lip off. Stop it. Relax. Breathe. I'm fine."

I could see her trying to take my advice and calm down, or at least look like she has calmed down. "Don't be brave." She replied. I just rolled my eyes. "Let's go. I'll drive you to the ER."

"Not necessary." I could feel the skin seal itself back together and I turned the water off and took the towel from her hands twisting it around my hand.

"Wait," she protested. "Let me look at it." She clutched onto the counter and it just seemed ironic that she was worried about me medically, when she looked like she was about to fall over.

"Do you have a medical degree that you never told me about?"

"Just give me the chance to decide whether or not I'm going to throw a fit over taking you to the hospital."

I gave a fake look of horror on my face. "Please, not a fit!"

"If you don't let me see your hand, a fit is guaranteed."

I took a deep breath and sighed, while a fit would be entertaining it probably wasn't worth it. "Fine." I unwound the towel as she reached out to take the towel I placed my hand over her own. She flipped my hand over several time, I assume looking for blood or other visible sign of where I had been cut. Instead there was a pink scar across my palm that would be visible for a little longer until the pink faded and it would be hard to see against my russet skin.

"But . . . you were bleeding . . . so much."

I took my hand from her, clearly passing the inspection. "I heal fast." I watched her face as her mind processed everything she had experienced. I loved watching her mind work, I smiled as I thumped my fist against her cheek. "Werewolf, remember?"

We looked into each other's eyes for a moment, and I wondered if she actually thought of me differently than other people because I turn into a wolf.

"Right," she finally said.

I laughed. "I told you this. You saw Paul's scar."

She shook her head. "It's a little different, seeing the action sequence firsthand."

I could see how that would be different. She bend down under the sink moving things around until she came back up with bleach. She dumped some on the rag and began cleaning my blood from the floor. "Let me clean up," I offered.

"I got this. Throw that towel in the wash, will you?"

I put it in the washing machine and then stood back in amazement as Bella seemed to clean anything that I might have touched with bleach. It seemed a little extreme, and sort of freaky. "Do you have obsessive-compulsive disorder?" I asked.

"We're a bit sensitive to blood around here. I'm sure you can understand that."

"Oh." The bleach smell really wasn't a whole lot better than the bloodsucker smell.

"Why not make it as easy as possible for him? What he's doing is hard enough."

"Sure, sure. Why not?" It seemed sort of ridiculous, but I could sort of see her point. She pulled the plug on the sink draining the water. "Can I ask you something, Bella?" She sighed, I decided to just go for it. "What's it like – having a werewolf for a best friend?" She laughed out from my question, clearly not what she expected, it made me a little concerned. "Does it creep you out?" I pressed.

"No. When the werewolf is being nice," she qualified, "it's the best."

A huge smile spread across my face I was really glad that she was comfortable around me, and while I didn't think being a werewolf bothered her it was still nice to know. "Thanks, Bella." I grabbed on to her hand and pulled her into a massive hug. Despite loving having my arms around her, I could not get past the horrible smell in her hair, it seemed worse than any other part of her. It could be that it was right under my nose, but it was not good. "Ugh," I said, my nose wrinkling. "Your hair stinks worse than your room."

"Sorry," she muttered.

"One of the many hazards of socializing with vampires," I shrugged. "It makes you smell bad. A minor hazard, comparatively."

She glared at me. "I only smell bad to you, Jake."

I grinned. "See you around, Bells."

"Are you leaving?"

"He's waiting for me to go. I can hear him outside." I had heard him for a while, he was being patient and recently started muttering to himself so I knew I was pressing my luck to stay any longer.

"Oh."

"I'll go out the back," I said, and then I remembered about the bonfire tonight. "Hold up a sec – hey, do you think you can come to La Push tonight? We're having a bonfire party. Emily will be there, and you could meet Kim . . . And I know Quil wants to see you, too. He's pretty peeved that you found out before he did." I thought it would be good to show that it wasn't just me who missed her.

She grinned, and I could see that she would enjoy coming. "Yeah, Jake, I don't know about that. See, it's a little tense right now . . ."

"C'mon, you think somebody's going to get past all – all six of us?" Oh, that was close I almost included Leah and Seth in the total, Sam didn't want her to know about that. He was sort of pissed when I told her about Quil, and didn't want them having any more information on our numbers. I pleaded with my eyes, knowing that I had said everything I could.

"I'll ask," she said doubtfully.  
That is so ridiculous. "Is he your warden, now, too? You know, I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive, teenage relationships and – "

"Okay!" She cut me off and shoved my arm. "Time for the werewolf to get out!"

I grinned. "Bye, Bells. Be sure you ask permission." I walked out the back door feeling pretty good about the time I was able to spend with Bella and hoped that I would be able to see her later this evening.


	9. Chapter 9

.com/watch?v=UYprnNHs1N8

**Chapter 9 - BONFIRE**

After leaving Bella's house I went straight to Sam, I knew I needed to talk to him about the possibility of the wolves being back on patrol at Bella's house. I didn't like it at all that some leech had been wondering around Bella's room, I know she wasn't home but that was not the point. Was that just luck that Bella was not home at the time?

I walked in the front door and I saw Emily pulling a large brisket out of the oven, the house was overwhelming with the smell of barbecue, I stopped moving and I know I was staring and I wouldn't even be ashamed if I were drooling.

Emily looked up at me and started laughing. "All you boys think with your stomachs."

"Well our stomachs are very thankful for you. You take great care of us." There were some muffins sitting in a basket on the kitchen table so I sat down and grabbed a couple.

"Thanks, Jake. But this is for the bonfire tonight, we all can't live off of hot dogs."

"Okay" I said a little disappointed that it wouldn't be lunch. "Oh, by the way I invited Bella to the bonfire tonight."

"Do you really think that was a good idea?"

I shrugged. "I don't even know if she will actually come, but I think it would be good for her to hear our history and be able to understand us better. Besides it isn't just about the stories, school is over for the summer and it is a perfect reason to celebrate."

"That is very true. I know that Jared was excited to graduate. Well I hope she makes it. It would be nice to see her again." Emily carefully took the brisket out of the pan and sat it on a large cutting board and started cutting it into strips.

"So, you aren't mad at her too?" I was a little surprised most of the pack is sick of dealing with the ups and downs of Bella. I can't say that I blame them, but it was really nice to finally get some support.

"I don't like what she does to you."

"Ugh, not you too." I grumbled.

"Jake, you are a roller coaster of emotions to your excitement when you get to spend time with her to your deep depression when you know that eventually your going to loose her. It is like there are two completely different Jakes."

"You make it sound like I have some split personality or something." She just raised her eye brows, indicating that is exactly what she meant. "But I can't give up, not when there is still a chance."

"I understand, and I believe that if anyone can get her to change her mind it is probably you."

"I hope so. If she wasn't so willing to give up her life to be with him it would be different."

"So if she would stay human, but still be with Edward, you would be okay with that?"

I paused and thought about it a moment. "Probably not. But if Edward were human, and it was as simple as her picking another guy over me, I like to think I would let her go."

"So, it is not just about her picking you?"

"No, of course that would be great if she did, but even more important than that is for her to live.

"And what if you fail? What happens to you then?"

"I don't know."

"Sorry Jake, that wasn't really a fair question."

"It's okay. I wish I had a better answer for you, but I honestly have no idea."

She grabbed several pieces of the meat she had sliced and some bread and put them on a plate in front of me. "Quality control, of course." She smiled and winked.

I smiled big and laughed. "Don't worry, it will be our little secret." I took a big bite of the sandwich before me as she lightly patted my shoulder.

"Oh really?" Sam questioned, as he walked in.

I tried to swallow too quickly, choking on my bite. I felt it burn as I forced it down my throat. I continued to cough. Emily rolled her eyes and walked over to the cabinet, I saw her get a glass and fill it with water and bring it back to the table.

"Thank . . . you" I coughed out and drank all the water. Finally I could breath easily again, I lifted the plate to Sam. "Quality control?" Clearly a peace offering, however it is not like I was flirting with Emily, or her with me. Certainly he would know that, but sometimes it was a little hard to tell.

Sam laughed and took the plate as he sat down next to me. Emily got another glass of water and brought it for Sam and kissed his lips before getting back to preparing other dishes for this evening. I grabbed my glass and refilled it while I made myself and Sam several sandwiches with lunch meat and cheese before sitting back down. I filled Sam in on the intruder that came to Bella's house. At first he was a little upset that I went there without talking to him first, but also understood that it was sort of impulsive. I made it clear that I knew that Cullen wasn't going to be there, so the treaty was never in danger of being broken.

We talked about what to do in regards to the boarders and the treaty, it was becoming clear that there needed to be some flexibility. It just wasn't working, we both agreed that the fact that there had been a vampire in Bella's house while Charlie was sleeping was cutting it way too close. Sam absolutely refused to allow any of the wolves to be near any of the Cullens, he felt like that was an unnecessary risk. The only thing I didn't budge on was that at least I was going to be there, Sam didn't like the idea of me being there without another wolf with me, but he knew me well enough that the only way to keep me from going was to alpha order me away.

I left Sam's house and returned home, the house was needing some general cleaning so I cleaned the bathroom and floors between loads of laundry. I was just finished making the beds when I heard Dad rolling up the ramp, so I walked over and opened the door for him.

"Oh, thanks Jake." He said rolling in.

"No problem."

We both settled into the living room and I knew I needed to bring up inviting Bella over to the bonfire, but before I could the phone rang.

I walked to the kitchen and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jake."

"Bella!" I was really excited that she called, but also a little nervous. I really wanted her to be able to come.

"If the invitation is still open I would like to take you up on coming tonight."

"Awesome! I can't believe your bloodsucker is letting you come! That is fantastic."

I could imagine her rolling her eyes at the slip, but I couldn't help notice that she didn't correct me quite as often as she used to.

"Well he had a few conditions. I need to bring my cell phone and he wants to drop me off at the boarder."

"I can totally work with that."

"What time does it start?"

"We will be eating and then telling stories afterwards. So does six work for you?"

"Yeah, that will be fine."

"I'll be waiting."

"Bye."

I turned back around smiling, however Dad didn't look so happy.

"What?" I asked, knowing full well what it was that disturbed him.

"You invited Bella to the bonfire tonight. Why?"

"Not, now Dad. I need your support on this. I thought it would be good for everyone to be able to see her again. To get a reminder that she is a real person who is worth fighting for."

"I'm just not sure how well she will be received."

"Well that is my problem, not hers. And they had better not take it out on her." I could feel myself really start to get angry.

"Calm down, Jake. Is she staying to hear the legends?"

I took a deep breath, trying to relax. "I would like for her to. I think she needs to understand the magnitude of this choice she is making. It is not just that I can't handle being around them, it is in my blood. It is what makes me who I am."

"I had better give Old Quil a call, he probably won't like it. But I agree with you, so he is just going to have to deal with it."

It was only a few more hours until six so I went to the garage and tinkered around on the Rabbit and my motorcycle. One of the pack members was constantly borrowing my car, I didn't care as long as they put some gas back in it when they were finished. It was really rare for someone to have two modes of transportation, well three if you count the wolf.

I was anxious to see Bella tonight so I took a quick shower and then drove the Rabbit to the meeting place. It wasn't until I got there that I realized that I was early so I got out of the car and leaned against it. Waiting. Having too much time alone to think really wasn't good for me right now, I would sometimes doubt if I really knew what I was doing having Bella back in my life. It wasn't easy constantly being in limbo in my 'friendship' with her.

I heard Edward's car coming before I saw it stop about 30 feet from me. Bella looked out from the window and smiled as she waved at me, and I smiled back at her. Edward got out and at first it made me cautious, I wasn't sure what he was getting out for. He went to the back of his car and pulled out Bella's bike, Bella walked over and placed a red helmet under her arm and laid something black over the seat of her bike.

"Do you have it all?" Edward asked.

"No problem," she assured him.

Edward sighed and leaned towards her as she brought her lips to his. His arms slipped around her crushing her to himself as their mouths continued to move against one another.

That was by far the worst thing I have ever seen in my life. Watching anyone kiss Bella would be pretty terrible, but it being a vampire. The mixture of wanting to rip his head off out of pure jealousy clashed with the true fear that he might accidentally hurt her. I wanted to throw up, gag, anything that would make it stop.

They pulled apart and Bella was gasping for air, and I heard Edward laugh, probably at the disgust I was feeling or possible the pain it caused to watch her giving that kind of affection to him.

"Goodbye," he said. "I really do like the jacket."

_Just wait until she's on my side of the line, you jerk_. I purposefully thought to him. _You'll have no idea of what we might be doing together._ I saw for a moment he looked panicked and I was pleased, but I kept everything hidden waiting for Bella to cross over to my side.

She was pushing her bike as she walked over. "What's all that?" I called, keeping my voice steady.

"I thought I should put this back where it belongs," she told me.

I thought about it for a moment and I was really glad that she was bringing it back, and even more so that she felt like it belonged with me. It was _ours_.

I stayed perfectly still as I continued to watch her coming closer until she crossed the line and instantly I shoved myself from the car and took three huge strides. I took the bike from her leaning it on the kick stand and wrapped my arms around her waist lifting her to me, her hands were crushed into my chest as I wrapped my arms around her back and I let my mind think about all the times I have held her close to me.

The Volvo's engine growled to life and I could feel her push against me.

"Cut it out, Jake!" She gasped breathlessly.

I laughed and put her back on the ground and she turned to look back at his car that was slipping out of sight. "Nice," she commented, sarcastically.

"What?" I faked innocence.

"He's being pretty dang pleasant about this; you don't need to push your luck."

I laughed again, really hard, she was so ironic sometimes. I opened the door for her and she got in the passenger side. "Bella," I said between laughing, "you can't push what you don't have." I shut her door and loaded up her bike in my car, the trunk wouldn't close, but it was good enough to get it home.

Once at my house I unloaded the bike and we walked it over to the garage. Unfortunately I did have to admit that the helmet was a great idea and truthfully felt pretty stupid for not thinking of it myself. I didn't really get the jacket though, but I figured it doesn't hurt and we left it in the garage with the other stuff.

Most of the pack knew that Bella was going to be with me tonight. I had learned my lesson about springing her on them when she wasn't expected. We showed up a little bit later than the others, as we walked over to the bonfire I could feel her get more nervous the closer we got. I took her hand and towed her with me to the rest of the group.

"Hey, vampire girl!" Embry greeted her loudly.

Quil jumped up and gave her a huge high five, Bella had to reach up on her toes trying to reach his hand, but was able to jump and slap his palm. He laughed and kissed her cheek, it's so Quil.

I led us over to Sam and Emily and as Bella sat down, Emily lightly touched her hand.

"Keep that bloodsucker stench downwind," Paul smirked. "I would hate it to spoil my appetite." We all laughed knowing that wasn't possible.

It was great having Bella here with my group. Some watched her carefully, especially Old Quil, he wasn't crazy about her being here for the legends, but Dad had taken care of that for me. I watched Bella as she took in everything around her. Her eyes were sympathetic when she saw the Clearwater family, especially Leah. Seth came and sat on the other side of me and chatted easily with myself and Bella.

As always with this group there was a ton of food, Sue brought over several dishes as well as those that Emily had prepared earlier today. I know I ate more hot dogs that should be possible as well as a whole bag of chips and root beer that I was sharing with Bella. Well mostly sharing, she took one handful of chips and filled her cup once with root beer, and the rest were gone before I remembered to ask her if she wanted any more.

"Are you gonna eat that hot dog?" Paul asked me, it was the last one.

I leaned back against Bella's knees, I had already pretty much made a pig of myself and I didn't really need to eat any more. "I guess," I said slowly, "I'm so full I'm about to puke, but I _think_ I can force it down. I won't enjoy it at all though." I sighed, patted my stomach while pretending to be sad. Paul glowered at me and balled his hands into fists, for a moment looked like he was going to hit me. "Sheesh." I laughed. "Kidding, Paul. Here."

I flipped him the wire skewer and Paul caught the wire easily. "Thanks, man," Paul said, his temper defusing as quickly as it came.

It was also interesting watching her reflect on Jared and Kim, imprinted couples were typically easy to spot with how devoted and loving they were with each other. Anyone could see Jared's love for Kim, somehow it made her more beautiful. Kim yawned and closed her eyes leaning her head on Jared's chest.

"It's getting late," Bella murmured, I could hear the sleepiness in her own voice.

"Don't start _that_ yet," I whispered back. "The best part is coming."

"What's the best part? You swallowing an entire cow whole?"

I chuckled a low laugh and explained about it being a council meeting and those hearing the stories for the first time since they knew they were true. I scooted back beside her, pressing my back up against a rock, and brought my arm around her to be able to whisper in her ear. As I whispered to Bella those around us could sense that everything was about to start and pulled themselves together and got ready.

My dad cleared his throat and then began to tell the stories. He told of the spirit warriors and how they protected our people from neighboring tribes. He told of Taha Aki and the conflict with Utlapa that ended the spirit warrior, but shifted us into the wolves. As Dad spoke Bella was completely lost in the story, at times she would seem to lean forward listening and I just left my arm around her shoulders.

As Old Quil picked up the story about the Third Wife, I knew that we were getting into the story of vampires and I wasn't sure how Bella would handle it. She moved a little closer to my side, and I smiled happily, as I tightened my arms around her. Like I thought, this story was harder for her I could hear her heart jump at times and she gasped along with others when my dad showed the blackened pouch that held the remains of the Cold One. Bella stayed close to me, and I would watch her face as she listened to the story, especially as we got closer to modern times and the treaty with the Cullens.

She remained perfectly still, even as the story closed and the magic that the story holds lifted from our circle. I also remained completely still as well just listening to my friends laugh and joke with each other. It was a few minutes before I realized that Bella had fallen asleep her head resting against my chest, I never wanted to move I could stay leaning against this rock all night and be content and happy. I looked down at the beautiful girl resting at my side as well as my friends all around us knowing that this is how life was meant to be.

However I knew that I did need to play nice so that Bella would be able to visit more often. I felt inside Bella's jacket pocket and found her cell phone and scrolled through until I found Edward's number in it.

It rang for half a second before Edward answered. "Bella!"

"Actually, it's Jacob."

"Why are you calling? Did something happen to Bella?"

"No calm down. She just feel asleep so I thought I would call to say that I was going to carry her to the car and meet you back at the boarder."

"Oh." There was a short pause. "Thank you for calling."

Finally, he is thanking me for something that I actually did on purpose. "You are welcome. See ya in a few."

I ended that call and then dialed Bella's house number.

"Bells?" Charlie answered.

"Sorry Charlie, it's Jake. I just wanted to let you know that Bella fell asleep, but Edward will be picking her up and bringing her home."

"Why don' t you just bring her home?" Charlie insisted.

"Well I have already called Edward, and I think that is what Bella would prefer."

"Alright." Charlie grumbled. "Thanks for calling me."

"No problem. We had a great time tonight, I am hoping she will be able to come again soon."

"Well you know it is fine by me."

"Thanks, Charlie. I appreciate that. I need to get going."

"Talk to you later, Jake."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and scooped her up in my arms and began walking towards my car. She shifted comfortably but never woke up, even as I placed her in the car and got in beside her, leaning her into my side as I drove to the boarder line. When I pulled up Edward's car was already waiting and I saw him in the trees pacing back and forth. I gently shook her arm to wake her up.

"C'mon, Bells," I softly spoke in her ear. "We're here."

She stirred confused, feeling around the car expecting it to still be the ground that she had fallen asleep on. "Oh, crap!" She gasped. "How late is it? Dang it, where's that stupid phone?" She started patting her pockets.

"Easy. It's not even midnight yet. And I already called him for you. Look – he's waiting there."

"Midnight?" She repeated, still confused. She looked out through the windshield and could see Edward's car.

I grabbed the phone from the dash board and handed it to her. "Here."

"You called Edward for me?"

I smiled. "I figured if I played nice, I'd get more time with you."

"Thanks, Jake. Really, thank you. And thanks for inviting me tonight. That was . . ." She took a second to fine words. "Wow. That was something else."

I completely understood, there was something special and magical about everyone being gathered together, and Bella being included. But I didn't want to be too serious. "And you didn't even stay up to watch me swallow a cow." I laughed. "No, I'm glad you liked it. It was . . . nice for me. Having you there." I saw her eyes looking out into the trees where Edward was still pacing back and forth. "Yeah, he's not so patient, is he? Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?"

"Sure, Jake." She promised, as she opened her door, the air blew in and I saw her shiver.

"Sleep tight, Bells. Don't worry about anything – I'll be watching out for you tonight."

She turned back with one foot on the ground. "No, Jake. Get some rest, I'll be fine."

"Sure, sure." Sometimes that phrase of mine comes in handy when I need to agree to something, but don't really want to.

"Night, Jake. Thanks."

"Night, Bella." I whispered back.

Not sure why I stayed to watch her return to him, he gave her a huge hug and asked about her time. It was nice to hear Bella telling him that she had such a good time, maybe it would work in my favor for her to visit again soon. Edward opened her door and lifted her inside, I saw him moving inside, it seemed he was buckling her up, the way he treated her like a child is sickening. I couldn't watch any longer, I put the car in drive and took off.

I made it back home, Dad was already in bed asleep so I went back outside and decided to run over to Bella's house. When I got there I saw one of the female Cullens with caramel colored hair standing outside the house. We both eyed each other cautiously and leaned my head down, I felt like I need to show that I wasn't here to harm her, and then I sat down in the leaves, both of us just starring at one another. I could hear Bella talking to Charlie, so she was home, and in just a few minutes Edward came running back. He whispered to the female Cullen and she left. We both looked at each other for a moment his face was unreadable, I could feel my hatred for him building. I had never been near him without Bella there as well, I got up and started pacing around to relieve some of the tension. He turned and I watched him climbed up into Bella's room.

I could hear them moving around in her room.

"Is Jacob out there?" Bella asked.

"Yes . . . somewhere. And Esme's on her way home."

I heard her sigh. "It's so cold and wet. This is silly."

"It's only cold to you." _Easy for you to say, you're not the one outside._ He chuckled.

Though it was nice to hear that she cared about my well being, the ground being cold wasn't a big deal, but the wet and mud was a little annoying how it would cling to my fur. I heard them shift around a little more, until they seemed to settle down for the night. I didn't like that Edward never came back out of her room, I wondered if that was normal or just a precaution like me being out here.

I still found it surprising how she was able to take him back after she had been so broken from him. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew that I had to keep trying. I would continue to wait, until her heart stopped beating.

**FACTS: **

**-** I do not know that the bonfire had anything to do with their school being out, but it was out, so it made sense to me that they would celebrate. I also do not know that Jared, graduated. I do know he was still in school, but he just seemed older to me.

- SM Quote: "Jacob doesn't have a tragic flaw. He has one goal and one hope. His goal is to save Bella's life. His hope is that he'll win her heart in the process. He fails at both. But that doesn't mean he regrets trying. If he could do it over again, he'd do the same thing. Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best effort - he knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try."

- Taylor Quote: "He's a lot different than he was before. He transforms mid-story - in the first half, he's Twilight Jacob. When he transforms into a werewolf, he becomes something very different. It's like I'm playing a split personality." (Now I understand just because Taylor says it about Jacob does not make it a fact, but I do think he understands Jacob very well. Also this quote is talking about his transformation in NM, but I think it is equally true for Eclipse)


	10. Chapter 10

song –youtube dot com/watch?v=CNtcZaBhSD4

**Chapter 10 - Declaration**

What a horrible week this has been. Every night I have been outside Bella's house surrounded by all the stench of whatever Cullen happens to be there as well, not to mention being mentally tortured knowing that Edward stays in her room every night.

Now that school is out Sam is really getting intense with the fight training, we have spent hours and hours every single day with drill after drill. There was something coming and I know that Sam could feel it. Truthfully, I could feel it too. You could call it your gut instinct or sixth sense, whatever, it was on red alert. As if to confirm our suspicions Brady and Collin both joined the pack. The pack has never been this large before and the only explanation that The Council had was that something big was coming and we needed to be ready.

While I completely agreed about needing to be ready, and I didn't mind the extra training, Sam and I could not agree on Bella at all. He did not see her visits as being substantial proof that she was back under our protection and refused to even acknowledge my being there as part of my wolf duties. He didn't care what I did in my "free time" as long as it didn't interfere with his plans. So I spend all day training with Sam and every night over at Bella's, getting little to no sleep at all.

When I was able to sleep I was having horrible dreams of Bella as my enemy with pale white skin and bright red eyes. She would be hunting throughout the reservation or Forks, people everywhere would be screaming. She gave no regard to women or the elderly, everyone was simply a target and she was the hunter. I would see my pack brothers attacking her, dismembering her body, piling the pieces together, and burning her beautiful face until it turned to black ash. Other times she would come directly to my own home and I would feel her presence before I saw her. She would be crouched ready to attack me, or sometimes knelt over the body of my dead father.

I had been asleep for about an hour when Embry and Quil came and woke me up.

"Come on, Jake you're late." Embry said, shaking my shoulder.

"Ugh." I groaned.

"Jake, do you really think that you are protecting her, when you can hardly function." Quil said, frustrated.

"I'm doing what I have to do." I sneered.

They both shook their heads, but kept their mouths shut. The three of us had gotten into a huge fight over me overextending myself. I wanted their help, but they sided with Sam, and in all honesty I was furious with them both. So without further acknowledgement we all went outside and joined the group for our usual training. I was a brute force when I am angry and determined, and after almost tearing Jared's leg off Sam decided that I needed the rest of the day off.

The moment I was home I crashed into my bed, I had been asleep for two hours when the phone woke me up.

"What?" I answered angrily.

"Jacob?" Bella answered. "Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah," I answered through a huge yawn. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to see if I could come visit tomorrow I don't have finals, but I don't know . . ."

"That sounds great." I said perking up. "It would be great to see you."

I heard her whispering, I assume to Edward because I could hear him as well. "Okay, Edward will drop me off at the boarder."

Of course he will, "I'll see ya then."

After hanging up I decided to take a shower and really wake up. I had one day to get ready for Bella's visit, I knew I needed to make the most of it. While showering I began to think, everything had been so fantastic when she was able to attend the bonfire, I could tell that she had slipped back into the person when it was just the two of us together every day. I wish that she realized how much she really did love me, I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. Her face would soften and I could tell that she was happy, relaxed, safe, and at peace.

If she wasn't aware of her own feelings, was it possible that she wasn't aware of mine? I felt like EVERYONE knew how much I loved Bella, but maybe I hung out with people who could literally know my thoughts too much and it wasn't as clear as I thought.

I got out of the shower, dried myself off, and got dressed. I have decided that I needed to tell Bella and actually speak the words out loud, how much she means to me. I wanted her to know that life is worth living and that she is making the wrong choice. I didn't want to just spring all that on her at once, but find a way to bring it out one step at a time. We were meeting in the morning so we would have all day together. I wanted to ride our bikes so that she could remember what it felt like to be free and to have fun. There was a pond that had been special to my family, my sister's and I used to play in it and I can remember Bella playing with us there as kids. It wasn't far from where we normally road our bikes and we could go for a walk and I could take her hand as we walked. I found it great that she still let me touch her when we were together, we could sit close together by the pond and I could tell her everything.

For once I was actually in a pretty good mood, so I decided that I needed to fix things with my brothers. Quil and Embry forgave me easily, we have been through too much and they really understood. I have been a pain in the ass to deal with lately, so I agreed to cover Jared's shift for biting him and patrolled the rest of the evening. I stopped by the house and ate everything in the refrigerator, two hamburgers, some spaghetti, mac-n-cheese, and a bag of chips from the pantry. Then I went over to Bella's to watch her for the night. Afterwards I went back home and got my dad ready for the day and we ate a huge breakfast together of eggs, bacon and toast.

It was finally time to meet Bella so I jumped in the Rabbit and went to the boarder line, once again arriving early. It was sort of getting ridiculous that I couldn't pick up Bella myself or her drive her own truck. What did he think we would do, chase her tires, try and bite them? I wanted to make sure that everything would come together when I told Bella that I loved her. She had to already know that, but I felt like it needed to be said. Maybe there would be some light bulb moment where she would finalize realize that she did love me too.

I was lost in my own thoughts when I looked up and saw Edward and Bella just sitting in the car, I didn't think they had been sitting there for long, but I hadn't been paying attention. I gave the horn a couple taps.

"That's impolite," Edward growled.

"That's Jacob." What can I say, she knows me well. She got out of his car and gave a little wave as she got into mine.

"Hey Bells." I said cheerfully, trying to make up for the exhaustion that I felt. I had tried to take a nap before coming here, but I was too wound up and couldn't sleep.

"Are you all right, Jake?"

"Just tired." I said while yawning. "What do you want to do today?"

She looked at me for a moment before answering. "Let's just hang out at your place for now. We can ride our bikes later."

"Sure, sure," I said, yawning again. That sounded like a perfect plan.

I parked the Rabbit in the garage and then Bella and I walked inside the house. Dad almost always had the TV on when he was home and so it was strangely quiet when he wasn't home.

"Where's your dad?" Bella asked.

"Over at the Clearwaters'. He's been hanging out there a lot since Harry died. Sue gets lonely." I sat down on the couch scooting to the side to make room for Bella to sit next to me.

"Oh. That's nice. Poor Sue."

"Yeah . . . she's having some trouble . . ." I hesitated, wishing that I had answered more simply. It was hard keeping Seth and Leah being in the pack a secret from Bella, I just wasn't used to having to keep things from her. "With her kids." I added.

"Sure, it's got to be hard on Seth and Leah, losing their dad . . ."

"Uh-huh," if that was their only problem it would be so much easier to deal with. I picked up the remote and flipped the TV on, nothing looked interesting and I yawned again.

"What's with you, Jake? You're like a zombie."

"I got about two hours of sleep last night and four the night before." I stretched my arms and shoulders the joints cracking as they flexed, one arm landing on the back of the couch and I slouched a little to my head could rest against the wall. "I'm exhausted."

"Why aren't you sleeping?" She asked.

I was really irritated at Sam and I knew it showed on my face. "Sam's being difficult. He doesn't trust your bloodsuckers. I've been running double shifts for two weeks and nobody's touched me yet, but he still doesn't buy it. So I'm on my own for now."

"Double shifts? Is this because you're trying to watch out for me? Jake, that's wrong! You need to sleep. I'll be fine."

"It's no big deal." That reminded me of why I was out there, making me more alert. "Hey, did you ever find out who was in your room? Is there anything new?"

"No, we didn't find anything out about my, um, visitor."

"Then I'll be around," I relaxed again, closing my eyes.

"Jake . . ." she started to whine.

"Hey, it's the least I can do – I offered eternal servitude, remember. I'm your slave for life."

"I don't want a slave!"

I kept my eyes shut. "What do you want, Bella?"

"I want my friend Jacob – and I don't want him half-dead, hurting himself in some misguided attempt –"

That wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for. "Look at it this way – I'm hoping I can track down a vampire I'm allowed to kill, okay?" Suddenly it was way too quiet, and I opened my eyes looking for her reaction. "Kidding, Bella." I never dreamed she would be protective of _all_vampires. She turned her eyes to the TV, but I knew she wasn't really watching. "So, any special plans next week? You're graduating. Wow. That's big." My voice was flat, amazing how something that should have been so exciting was completely ruined. I closed my eyes again trying to keep some of that pain to myself.

"No _special_ plans," she said cryptically. I wonder exactly what she meant by that. Had she changed her mind or was there something else slowing her down? "Well, I do have to go to a graduation party. Mine." She made a disgusted sound and then continued. "Alice _loves_ parties, and she's invited the whole town to her place the night of. It's going to be horrible."

The entire town was going to be over at the vampire's house, that seemed a little odd. They were certainly taking the "human charade" way too far. "I didn't get an invitation. I'm hurt," I teased.

"Consider yourself invited. It's supposedly _my_ party, so I should be able to ask who I want."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically, my eyes closing once again.

"I wish you would come," she said knowing it wasn't going to happen. "It would be more fun. For me, I mean."

I really liked that Bella wanted me there. "Sure, sure," I mumbled. "That would be very . . . wise . . ." I tried to stay awake and really be able to enjoy Bella's company, but her being next to me was really comforting. I have been so stressed lately trying to protect her, knowing that she was right here allowed my mind to finally relax and went completely unconscious.

I felt something move against my arm and I sprung to my feet looking around. "What? What?" I asked, disoriented.

"It's just me, Jake. Sorry I woke you."

I looked back at the couch, confused that Bella was there. "Bella?"

"Hey, sleepy."

"Oh man! Did I fall asleep? I'm sorry! How long was I out?"

"A few Emerils. I lost count."

I flopped back on the couch next to her. "Wow. Sorry about that, really."

She brought her hands through my hair, smoothing it out. "Don't feel bad. I'm glad you got some sleep."

Her touch was making me sleepy again, I yawn and stretched. "I'm useless these days. No wonder Billy's always gone. I'm so boring."

"You're fine," she assured me.

"Ugh, let's go outside. I need to walk around or I'll pass out again."

"Jake, go back to sleep. I'm good. I'll call Edward to come pick me up." She patted her pockets. "Shoot, I'll have to borrow your phone. I think I must have left his in the car."

She started to unfold herself to stand. "No!" I insisted, grabbing her hand. "No, stay. You hardly ever make it down. I can't believe I wasted all this time."

Her wanting to leave really freaked me out and reminded me of what I was suppose to be doing today, and I knew that I couldn't let her leave now. I stood from the couch pulling her with me and brought us both outside. The air was cool and it helped to wake me up, but I was really struggling with what to do. I wanted to make this time with Bella special, she needed to remember everything that we did together that made us, _us_.

"I'm an idiot," I muttered to myself.

"What's the matter, Jake? So you fell asleep." She shrugged, clearly not seeing why this was such a big deal.

"I wanted to talk to you. I can't believe this."

"Talk to me now," she said.

I looked her right in the eyes, I wanted to tell her my feelings for her so badly, but I didn't want to just randomly spill my guts. I looked back into the trees trying to get my thoughts together. "Look, I was planning to do this a little bit differently." I laughed, not sure why this has turned out to be so complicated. It was suppose to be easy. "Smoother, I was going to work up to it, but" - I looked up at the sky seeing how late it has become – "I'm out of time to work." I laughed again nervously, I was still dragging Bella around the yard by her hand as I paced around.

"What are you talking about?" She demanded.

I took a deep breath. "I want to tell you something. And you already know it . . . but I think I should say it out loud anyway. Just so there's never any confusion on the subject."

She planted her feet, making me stop. She dropped her hand and crossed her arms over her chest. That probably wasn't a really good sign, but I couldn't back down now. I looked her directly in the eyes.

"I'm in love with you, Bella. Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know you don't feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldn't want a miscommunication to stand in our way."

She stared at me completely speechless. I don't think it is possible that she didn't already know how I felt about her, so her surprise must have been that I actually said it out loud. I don't know what I expected from her after I said those words, but silence wasn't really it. "Okay," I said, grinning. "That's all."

"Jake – " She seemed to choke on her words, trying to spit them out. "I can't – I mean I don't . . . I have to go."

She turned to leave and I grabbed her shoulders and spun her back around. "No, wait. I _know_that, Bella. But, look, answer me this, all right? Do you want me to go away and never see you again? Be honest."

I waited a little nervous, and it took her longer to answer, I could tell that she was taking my question very seriously. "No, I don't want that," she finally admitted.

I grinned. "See."

"But I don't want you around for the same reason that you want me around," she objected.

"Tell me exactly why you want me around, then."

She thought carefully. "I miss you when you're not there. When you're happy," she qualified carefully, "it makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. You're family. I love you, but I'm not _in_ love with you."

I nodded, she didn't really say anything that I didn't already know. "But you do want me around."

"Yes." She sighed.

"Then I'll stick around."

"You're a glutton for punishment," she grumbled.

"Yep." I needed to touch her so I stroked the tips of my fingers across her cheek, she slapped my hand away.

"Do you think you could behave yourself a little better, at least?" she asked, irritated.

"No, I don't. You decide, Bella. You can have me the way I am – bad behavior included – or not at all."

She looked at me, frustrated. "That's mean."

"So are you."

She looked right at me and took a step back. "You're right," she whispered.

I laughed. "I forgive you. Just try not to get _too_ mad at me. Because I recently decided that I'm not giving up. There really is something irresistible about a lost cause."

"Jacob." she looked right into my eyes. "I love _him_, Jacob. He's my whole life."

Not really what I wanted to hear. "You love me, too." I saw her start to object and held up a hand to stop her. "Not the same way, I know. But he's not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left. And now he's just going to have to deal with the consequences of that choice – _me._"

She shook her head. "You're impossible."

Suddenly I got serious. I reached out and took her chin in my hand directing her eyes into my own so that once again we looked at each other. "Until your heart stops beating, Bella. I'll be here – fighting. Don't forget that you have options."

"I don't want options," she tried to move her face but I didn't let go. "And my heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone."

That is the whole point. "All the more reason to fight – fight harder now, while I can." I whispered. I hated thinking about her life ending. There had to be something more that I could do.

**Author's N****ote** – Yeah I know, I'm evil for stopping right there. I'm sorry.

FACTS

- I don't know that Jacob, Quil, and Embry got into a fight over Bella, but I find it a little strange that they didn't help him guard her at night. So that is where that came from.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up, however it is not my fault. FF wouldn't let me post the chapter.

- So because there have been issues I am giving out the website that this story is also posted on so in case something happens and I can't continue to post then you can still follow the story there. Jacobblack-n-pack dot ning dot com/group/jacobseclipse or of course you can private message me anytime. THANKS, JJ

...

**Chapter 11 – WAGER**

"_And my heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone."_

_That is the whole point. "All the more reason to fight – fight harder now, while I can." I whispered. I hated thinking about her life ending. There had to be something more that I could do._

_. . . ._

Suddenly it was perfectly clear, there was one thing that I had not done, kiss her. The moment I thought it I didn't debate the pros or cons, or really anything at all, I quickly brought my mouth to hers. Her lips were so soft and cold, and I could feel them move against my own, her hands were pressed into my chest and I wound my arms around her back and neck holding her to myself, as we kissed. Her hands reached out into my face and for the first time I realized that maybe she wasn't enjoying this, it was really irritating and I pressed my mouth onto hers even more forcing her lips to open. Instead of intensifying the kiss like I was hoping her body went still, her hands down at her side. When my mouth moved against hers she didn't move back at all, I opened my eyes to see her staring back at me. Slowly I kissed her softly once, twice . . . a third time, with still no response, so I let go of her face and leaned back.

"Are you done now?" She asked her voice expressionless.

"Yes," I sighed. I had just kissed Bella, I smiled, closing my eyes, my lips still tingling with the sensation of them being pressed to her own. There was a horrible crunching sound and Bella started screaming and hopping around with her hand clutched to her chest.

I had no idea what could have happened to her. "Are you all right?"

"No, dammit! _You broke my hand!_"

It was then that I realized that she had tried to punch me. "Bella, _you_ broke your hand. Now stop dancing around and let me look at it."

"Don't touch me! I'm going home right now!"

"I'll get my car," I said calmly.

"No, thanks," she hissed. "I'd rather walk." She turned towards the road.

"Just let me drive you home," I insisted. I brought my arm around her waist to keep her from going further away.

She jerked away from my touch. "Fine!" She growled. "Do! I can't wait to see what Edward does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you pushy, obnoxious, moronic, DOG!"

I just rolled my eyes, did she really think that was going to be insulting. I walked with her to the passenger side of my car, opened her door and after she sat down took the seatbelt around her. As I walked around to the driver side I started whistling.

"Didn't I hurt you at all?" She asked, furious and annoyed.

"Are you kidding? If you hadn't started screaming, I might not have figured out that you were trying to punch me. I may not be made out of stone, but I'm not _that_ soft."

"I hate you, Jacob Black."

"That's good. Hate is a passionate emotion."

"I'll give you passionate," she muttered. "Murder, the ultimate crime of passion."

That seemed a little over the top. "Oh, c'mon," I said, still excited from the kiss. "That had to be better than kissing a rock."

"Not even remotely close," she said coldly.

I thought about it for a moment. "You could just be saying that."

"But I'm not."

I hadn't kissed anyone before so I wasn't really sure what was considered normal, but it felt great to feel her against my lips, she just didn't want to admit it. "You're just mad. I don't have any experience with this kind of thing, but I thought it was pretty incredible myself."

"Ugh," she groaned.

"You're going to think about it tonight. When he thinks you're asleep, you'll be thinking about your options."

"If I think about you tonight, it will be because I'm having a _nightmare_."

I was really surprised that she was being this difficult about it. I took my foot off the gas bringing the car to a crawl and really looked at her. "Just think about how it could be, Bella. You wouldn't have to change anything for me. You know Charlie would be happy if you picked me. I could protect you just as well as your vampire can – maybe better. And I would make you happy, Bella. There's so much I could give you that he can't. I'll bet he couldn't eve kiss you like that – because he would hurt you. I would never, never hurt you Bella." She raised her injured hand in the air. I sighed. "That wasn't my fault. You should have known better."

"Jacob, I can't _be_ happy without him."

"You've never tried," I disagreed. "When he left, you spent all your energy holding on to him. You could be happy if you let go. You could be happy with me."

"I don't want to be happy with anyone but him," she insisted.

"You'll never be able to be as sure of him as you are of me. He left you once, he could do it again."

"No, he will not," she said through her teeth. "You left me once," she reminded bitterly.

"I never did," I argued hotly. "They told me I couldn't tell you – that it wasn't safe _for you_ if we were together. But I never left, never! I used to run around your house at night – like I do now. Just making sure you were okay." I couldn't believe she compared that to his leaving, they were not even close to the same thing. Not to mention we were only apart for two weeks, he was gone for six months.

"Take me home. My hand hurts."

I sighed and driving back at a normal speed watching the road in front of me. "Just think about it, Bella."

"No," she said stubbornly.

"You will. Tonight. And I'll be thinking about you while you're thinking about me."

"Like I said, a nightmare."

I grinned, looking quickly at her. "You kissed me back." I heard her gasp and hiss as her her hurt hand flinched. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"I did _not_."

"I think I can tell the difference."

"Obviously you can't – that was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off of me, you_idiot_."

I laughed. "Touchy. Almost _overly_ defensive, I would say." It seemed like she was lying. I know I felt her lips moving, I didn't think that they were protesting the whole time. She looked down at her hand wiggling her fingers and I could see her wince and groan as she tried to move it. "I'm really sorry about your hand. Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?"

"Don't think I'll forget that," she muttered. We were just coming down the road to Bella's house when she looked around outside. "Why are you taking me here?" She demanded.

I was confused, she had asked me to take her home. "I thought you said you were going home?"

"Ugh. I guess you can't take me to Edward's house, can you?"

That hurt far more than any of the other insults she had tried to give. "This is your home, Bella," I said quietly.

"Yes, but do any doctors live here?" She asked, once again holding up her hand.

"Oh." I guess that made sense. "I'll take you to the hospital. Or Charlie can."

"I don't want to go to the hospital. It's embarrassing and unnecessary." We pulled up to her house and I just sat in the Rabbit with it idling. I wasn't sure what to do anymore. She sighed. "Go home, Jacob."

She awkwardly got out of the car, and I couldn't leave like this. I got out of the car and walked around to be next to her. "What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I am going to get some ice on my hand, and then I am going to call Edward and tell him to come and get me and take me to Carlisle so that he can fix my hand. Then, if you're still here, I am going to go hunt up a crowbar."

I decided that I have pressed my luck enough and decided to just shut up. I opened the front door for her and held it open while she walked through.

"Hey, kids, Charlie said from the living room couch. "Nice to see _you_ here, Jake."

"Hey, Charlie." I acknowledged casually.

Bella went straight to the kitchen. "What's wrong with her?" Charlie wondered.

"She thinks she broke her hand," I told Charlie while she got some ice.

"How did she do that?" Charlie said amused.

I laughed. "She hit me."

Charlie laughed as well. "Why did she hit you?"

"Because I kissed her," I said unashamed, but I did wonder if he would be upset with me.

"Good for you, kid," Charlie congratulated. I guess that Bella must just be over reacting if Charlie wasn't even mad at all.

Bella had her hand wrapped in a dish clothe with ice as she picked up the phone and dialed. "Bella?" I heard Edward answer and could hear his engine through the phone. She explained to him that she thought her hand was broken because she has punched me after kissing her. The complete silence after she told him was a little creepy.

"Maybe you ought to take off, Jake," Charlie suggested.

"I think I'll hang out here, if you don't mind." I sat down on the couch next to Charlie.

"Your funeral," Charlie muttered.

I heard Edward get confirmation that I was still there and Charlie looked at Bella's hand, he was still clearly amused that she had hit me. It didn't take long for Edward to pull up and a second before he stood in the door way of her house.

"Let me see," Edward murmured. He touched her hand and I watched Bella's face, it seemed that it wasn't causing her pain. "I think you're right about the break. I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this."

"As much as I have." She sighed. "Not enough, apparently."

He brought his hand to his lips and kissed it. "I'll take care of it, Jacob." He called his voice calm and even.

"Now, now," Charlie cautioned. He stood up from the couch and I did as well easily coming in front of him. "I don't want any fighting, do you understand?" Charlie said to Edward. "I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official."

"That won't be necessary," Edward said, I could hear the irritation in his voice.

"Why don't you arrest me, Dad?" Bella suggested. "I'm the one throwing punches."

Charlie raised an eye brow at me. "Do you want to press charges, Jake?"

"No." I grinned, incorrigible. "I'll take the trade any day."

Edward grimaced.

"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute."

Charlie looked right at Bella. "Enough, Bella." I wonder if Charlie thought she was actually trying to kill me.

"Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell," Edward said, as he put his arm around her and pulled her towards the door.

"Fine," Bella said, leaning against him. She seemed to calm down some, I wasn't sure if that was because Edward was here or if she was feeling better.

They walked out the door together and there was more that I wanted to say. I started to follow them out when Charlie put one hand on my shoulder. "What are you doing?" He whispered "Are you crazy?"

"Give me a minute, Charlie," I answered. "Don't worry, I'll be right back."

I walked out the front door closing it behind me, not really meaning it to slam in Charlie's face but it just sort of happened. As I approached Edward's car, he was completely ignoring me while he got Bella situated in the car. Once her door was closed he turned and faced me, I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting.

Edward's voice was calm, but full of venom. "I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella."

"Hmph," Bella grumbled.

He smiled quickly at Bella. "It would bother you in the morning," he said, brushing his fingers across her cheek. Then he brought his attention back to me. "But if you ever bring her back damaged again – and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head – if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?"

I rolled my eyes, there was no reason to be so over the top.

"Who's going back?" Bella muttered.

"And if you ever kiss her again, I _will_ break your jaw for her," he promised.

"What if she wants me to?" I drawled, arrogant. I still believed that she would think about it later and realize that it was a lot better than she seems to think right now, and would maybe want to try again.

"Hah!" She snorted.

"If that's what she wants, then I won't object." Edward shrugged. "You might want to wait for her to

_say_ it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language – but it's your face."

I grinned, that was just the window that I needed to try and see if I could get it to happen again.

"You wish," Bella grumbled.

"Yes, he does," Edward murmured.

"Well, if you're done rummaging through my head," I said very annoyed, "why don't you go take care of her hand?"

"One more thing," Edward said slowly. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

"Good," I growled. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits."

"She _is_ mine." Edward said darkly. "I didn't say I would fight fair."

The way he said that gave me chills and I hated that he was right, she was his, it just made me know that I had to keep trying."Neither did I."

"Best of luck."

I nodded. "Yes, may the best _man_ win."

"That sounds about right . . . pup."

I grimaced briefly, he is so annoying, and then leaned around Edward to smile at Bella. She glowered back at me, I was really going to have to do some serious damage control. "I hope your hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt."

Childishly she turned her face away refusing to look at me. I stood there a moment while Edward got into the driver's seat and drove off. I went back in and told Charlie goodbye, he sputtered out some kind of response, but I wasn't listening that closely and then I drove back home.

I had patrols that night with Quil and Embry, they thought it was fantastic that I had kissed Bella, however thought it was equally hilarious that she punched me. I will admit seeing her dance around and even her anger was sort of funny, it certainly was not the response that I was going for whenever I kissed her. I thought about how I wanted that day to go compared to what it did, it was very different. I can't say that it was a complete failure, but I knew it could have been better.

After patrols I went by Bella's house and spent the rest of the evening there. It honestly is pretty boring with nothing to do but to stare awkwardly at the tiny little Cullen that was out there. Once I was finished there, I stepped in the front door of my home and I could hear Billy on the phone it didn't take long to realize it was Charlie.

"Wait a minute, Bella broke her hand punching Jake?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, I guess I never taught her how to throw a punch correctly." Charlie chuckled.

"Well apparently I didn't teach my son when to kiss someone and when he shouldn't." He looked at me and frowned. I shrugged at him and started scrounging for something to eat.

"That is probably a valid point." Charlie said grudgingly

"Did his kiss seem to do anything in Jake's favor?"

"No, she was pretty upset with Jacob. Edward came got her and Dr. Cullen put her hand in a brace."

"I'm sorry she got hurt." He still looked at me irritated. I couldn't figure out why he seemed to be so upset with me. "Jake is here now, so I'll talk to you later."

"Tell, him better luck next time." I smiled that at least I had Charlie's support.

"Alright, take care." He hung up the phone and set it inside his chair.

We both looked at each other for a moment. "What is your problem, Dad?"

"You kissed Bella."

"Yeah . . . so?"

"Typically a punch isn't the response of a girl that wanted to be kissed."

"She wanted it, she just didn't know it."

"Uhm," he grunted.

"I don't want to hear it." I finished up eating, took a shower, and then went to bed. Sam was giving us all the weekend off and I was needing some serious sleep.

I slept most of the day and woke up starving and I heard Dad carving in the twin's room, so I decided to make dinner for us. I boiled some water for pasta and grabbed a jar of Alfredo sauce and put some chicken in the microwave to cook. After the noodles were cooked I drained the water and then added the chicken and sauce to the noodles and warmed some frozen vegetables and toasted some bread.

"Dad! Dinner's ready." I yelled to him and served myself some food and sat at the table. I was on round two when he rolled himself into the kitchen and joined me. We were still a little at odds with each other, I really didn't think that I had done anything wrong, so after eating I decided to go for a walk along the beach. I sat down for a while and was tossing pebbles into the ocean.

I haven't been sitting long when I saw someone jogging along, it didn't take much to notice that she was Jackie. She came up and stopped where I was sitting, she was a little short of breath and had a huge smile on her face.

"Hey Jake, how's it going?"

"Alright I guess." I shrugged. "How's your foot?"

"It was fine, just badly bruised for a couple days. Thanks for asking." We paused both smiling, and I took a deep breath releasing it slowly. "Is everything okay?" She asked.

"I don't know yet, but maybe." Though she had stopped jogging she was still pacing back and forth, I assume to keep her heart rate up. "How long have you been jogging?"

"About 20 minutes, I try to go for an hour. Do you want to come?"

I remembered how much I had enjoyed running right before I phased, it felt really good to use the muscles. Now running as a human wasn't really much of a challenge. "You go ahead."

"What, are you afraid you might slow me down?"

"Are you implying that you are a better runner than me?"

"Yep."

"Alright, you're on." I jumped up off the ground and immediately started sprinting down the sand. My bare feet and long stride were a benefit, however Jackie is tall and at 6'2" her stride isn't far off from my own. She had on spandex pants and a shirt similar to what she ran in last time and the same running shoes. I could easily tell that she ran often and was in good shape.

We ran for a solid 30 minutes and I made sure that I stayed at least a step ahead, until the clouds gave way and started to pour rain on us. It was the type of rain that instead of starting slow and building, it just dumps buckets of rain.

"Yeeek!" Jackie shrieked. "I'm totally soaked."

"Come on, lets get you back to your car." I stopped and got ready to head the other direction.

"Rain isn't going to hurt me, let's go." She continued to sprint and I had to really pick up the pace to catch back up.

"You are a little strange, you know that Jackie."

She just smiled. "I know."

After another 15 minutes the rain stopped and we slowed down to a walk. "So, Jake what brings you to the beach today?"

"Dad and I aren't seeing eye to eye, it's not really a fight, but that just makes it more annoying. With a fight we could just yell it out, but with this it is just different."

"What's it about?"

"A girl, I really don't think you want to know."

She rolled her eyes. "We're friends, right?"

"Yeah."

"If I were a guy, would you tell me?"

I shrugged. "Probably."

"Then spill it."

"There's this girl that I have been crazy about for so long. She sees me as her best friend, but I know that she loves me, she just doesn't know it. Well I kissed her, and it didn't exactly go over real well."

"Do you know who you sound like right now?"

"No, who?"

"Me."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't even begin to tell you how many times I convinced myself that you really liked me beyond just a friend. I even kissed you at school and you just stood there until you almost dropped me while yelling that I was completely insane."

I remembered that easily. "That's different."

"How?"

"We've never had the history that I do with her. I'm closer to you probably now than any other time."

She grabbed my hand and stopped walking. "Come here."

I thought maybe she was cold from being wet from the rain, I took a step towards her and she put both her hands on my face bringing our bodies closer together. Instantly I was confused, it was really awkward and I could not figure out where she was going with this at all. I had some idea, but that just made it even more uncomfortable. I remained still, however she kept slowly bringing her face closer to mine and I could feel the anxiety building with each inch she got closer. When she got less than one inch away, I could feel her breath against my lips.

"I'm not going to kiss you," she whispered.

"What _are_ you doing?"

"I'm showing you what it feels like to be that 'other person' who doesn't want the advance that you are giving them." I thought about it for a moment, I sure hope that it didn't feel this awkward for Bella when I had kissed her. "You are a big guy Jake and very strong, you could easily make her feel trapped like she couldn't escape. With that in mind, now just imagine if I had actually kissed you now," she said, and I could still feel her breath as she spoke.

I gulped and she smiled and let go of me moving her body back. Neither of us moved for a little bit, she was quiet, letting me process the experience. I knew that if she had kissed me I would have been really frustrated with her because she knew better, and that it wasn't like that for us. The more I thought about it, I began to realize that I knew better too. Even as I was telling Bella how much I loved her, I knew that she didn't feel the same way for me. I knew she loved me, and not like a family member, but I also knew that she didn't know it and kissing her probably wasn't the best way to get her to realize it.

"So what do I do now?" I whispered.

"I'm not sure. You said it didn't exactly go well . . . Uh, exactly how not well?"

"She broke her hand punching me in the face."

We started walking again slowly. "Yeah, that's bad."

"And she sort of wanted her . . . boyfriend to kill me afterwards."

"Jacob!" She slapped my shoulder. "I would have thought you were better than to kiss a girl that was taken."

"It's not that simple. He's going to kill her, if she doesn't leave him."

"Oh, that's tough, sorry."

"So you don't have any advice for me?"

"When will you see her next?"

"Her graduation is in a couple days and I'll see her then."

"That's it?"

"Well there is a party she invited me to, but I'm not sure . . ."

"You should go."

"It's at her boyfriend's house." I hated calling him that. "Does that make a difference?"

"Yeah it does. Just make sure it is a peace offering and you should be okay. Bring her a present or something."

"I can do that. Thanks." I smiled at her and reached out and squeezed her hand. Her hand was really cold and she had her other arm wrapped around herself. "Come here." I pulled her a little closer and wrapped my arms around her, as the rain started coming down again. "You're freezing, lets get you home."

"Okay."

"Can I give you a ride home?" She asked as we approached her car. She pulled a key out of a small pocket on her shirt sleeve.

"Nah, I'm good."

"You are pretty strange yourself Jake."

"Yeah." You have no idea. "I'm already soaked as it is, no big deal."

She shivered a little, cold now that the rain had soaked her clothes. "Okay, if you catch a cold I'm making you get in the car next time."

"Deal." I couldn't help but smirk at the possibility of me catching a cold. The rain was stopping again so she quickly opened the door and jumped inside. I watched her drive away and then turned back towards home.

**FACTS:**

- Their kiss. I know that Bella doesn't really kiss him back, but I think that for Jacob it would have felt like she did, at least at the beginning. I believe that even though she is trying to get him off she is most likely moving her lips and it would probably feel like she is kissing him. Give him a little break for not knowing what it is suppose to feel like to kiss someone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – GRADUATION**

As I was walking I saw the drift wood tree that I usually sat on with Bella and decided to sit down to think. Not knowing what else to do I grabbed the pocket knife from my pocket and cut a branch from the tree and at first just started mindlessly whittling. So if I was going to Bella's graduation party then I needed to bring her a present. I didn't have really any money, but I looked at the branch in my hand and knew that I could make her a wood carving. I continued to whittle the branch until it was about the length of my hand and I decided that I would continue to carve it with my dad's tools at home.

I went home and started working not really sure what I wanted to make, but as my fingers moved and carved I started to notice the shape of a wolf break forth from the wood. It took the rest of the afternoon and into the evening for the size to be complete. It was just over an inch and then I started working on the details of the tail, face, legs and fur. It was very time consuming, but when it was finished I was really proud, I could easily see myself represented in the form. Dad had all kinds of wood stain and I found the perfect reddish brown color that I felt would be very close to my wolf and stained the drift wood to match.

As I was finishing the final coat of stain Dad rolled in. "Oh, Jake you scared me. I didn't realize you were home." He said taking a deep breath.

"Sorry Dad, I have been in here a while."

"Let me see what you are working on."

I lifted the wolf and dropped it in the palm of his hand. "I know it isn't as good as what you can do."

He ran his fingers over it and looked closely at the details. "No, Jake you did really good. It just seems sort of random."

"Well it's for Bella. You know, graduation present."

"That makes more sense. What do you plan to do with the wolf?"

"I haven't quite gotten that far yet."

"Come follow me." He sat the wolf in his lap and rolled to his room. On the dresser was my mom's jewelry box, he opened the lid and pulled out a silver chain bracelet. "What do you think?"

"Are you sure?"

He shrugged. "I don't need it, and I don't think your sisters will care."

"That would be perfect. Thanks."

He rolled back to his tools and looked around until he found a tiny screw with a loop on the end and took the wolf and carefully screwed it into the back of the wolf. Then he put a little sealant around the screw to hold it securely in place and attached it to the bracelet.

"Thanks Dad." It really did look perfect, and I hoped that when she saw it on her wrist it would give her the opportunity to think about me more.

Now that it was finished I was starving, so Dad and I had a quickly dinner together and I went out to hang with Quil and Embry. I haven't been able to be with them as much as I wanted because of being so tired, but having the weekend off was great and I was finally able to catch up on the sleep I had been missing. We had a great time together playing on Quil's PS2. Embry and I both preferred Gran Turismo for the cars and customization. Sometimes we would race them on the track so that we could get the money from racing to buy better and faster parts, other times we just spent hours customizing the different cars that we had.

"What are you doing tomorrow, Jake?" Quil asked.

"Bella's graduation is in the morning and then her party later that evening."

"Are you really going to that party?" Embry asked.

"Yep."

"You're insane." Quil stated.

"According to Bella, half of Forks is going to be there so _they_ aren't going to do anything to me."

"I don't think you should go alone." Embry countered.

"You want to come?"

"I will, if you do." He said to Quil.

"Sure, I'm not scared of a bunch of leeches."

"Easy for you to say here, just wait until you smell them." Embry gave a disgusted face and rolled his eyes.

"Well this should be interesting, I hadn't thought of bringing back up."

"Why not?" Embry asked.

I shrugged. "If they wanted to hurt me they would do that when I'm alone outside her house, not in their crowded house."

"Good point." Quil acknowledged. "Do we need to tell Sam what we are doing?"

"He doesn't seem to care what I am doing in my 'free time', so it is none of his damn business."

"Jake, this isn't just going over to Bella's house for the night, this is going over to _their_ house, he is going to be pissed."

"Well that will be my problem. You two just make sure you hold yourselves together and there won't be anything for Sam to complain about."

It was getting pretty late, so we said our goodbyes and I came home to get Dad ready for bed. I went to sleep quickly as well, the next morning we got up and had a big breakfast before I drove us to Bella's school for her graduation. We found Charlie easily and sat with him, he was very well known of course and spoke politely to most of those around us. It didn't take long for the ceremony to begin, it was a pretty typical, boring graduation. As I heard Bella's name be called, I saw her stand and did the same. I turned and helped Charlie to his feet and he, Billy, and I all cheered loudly as she got her diploma. Once it was over all the students were mixed around and people were everywhere, it would have been very difficult to get Billy's chair through everyone so we decided to leave and told Charlie to give Bella our congrats.

We went back home and made sandwiches for lunch and I caught up on some of the chores that needed to be done around the house. It was late afternoon by the time I finished and Quil and Embry came over so we tinkered around in the garage some until it was time to go to Bella's party.

"Are you alright, Jake?" Embry asked.

"Yeah, I guess I'm a little worried that she is still mad at me."

"There is one way to find out." Quil stated.

"I know. Just Bella and I haven't spoken once."

"Let's get going, you will feel better once you talk to her." Embry reasoned.

"Okay, I need to go inside and get her present, I'll be right back and we can drive over." I walked inside and picked up her bracelet and slipped it inside a small multi colored pouch and tied the strings so it didn't fall back out. I sat it in the cup holder as I climbed into the Rabbit, Embry was in the back and Quil was in the passenger, and we went towards the Cullens. I wasn't 100% sure how to get there by car, but I knew where the house was from when they were gone, we used to patrol a wider area.

As we got close to the house I was blown away by the massive amounts of lights in the trees it was certainly easy to find. We quickly got out of the car and I slipped her present in my back pocket, we could smell them from out here and both Quil and Embry started shaking.

"Are you guys going to be alright?"

"Yeah." Embry acknowledged.

"How do you do this every night?" Quil asked.

I just shrugged, as we walked up to the Cullen's home, it smelled horrible and both Embry and Quil were extremely fidgety. It is not that I liked their smell, but I had gotten more used to it from being outside of Bella's house, there was always some random Cullen out there with me. We walked up to the house and I rang the door bell, there was loud music inside and I pressed the button again holding it down longer this time. It is not like I wasn't invited so I opened the door and the three of us walked in, the smell was even worse inside and I could see Embry shaking.

I looked around quickly and saw Bella. "Hey, Bella!" I called out, when she saw me she looked sort of irritated. I waved at her and she waved back and then moved away. She wasn't getting away that easily, I didn't come all the way over here for the scenery, I wanted to hand deliver my present to her. Slipping through the crowd I found her by the kitchen and I placed my hand on her shoulder turning her towards me, but she ducked under my arm. I grabbed her wrist and yanked her from the others so that I could talk to her. "Friendly reception," I noted.

She jerked her hand from me and scowled. "What are you _doing_ here?"

"You invited me, remember?"

"In case my right hook was to subtle for you, let me translate: that was me _un_inviting you."

"Don't be a poor sport. I brought you a graduation present and everything."

She folded her arms across her chest and continued to look around me, it was starting to get a little insulting and a whole lot annoying. "Take it back to the store, Jake. I've got to do something . . ."

That was a lot insulting, and I was tired of her ignoring me. "I can't take it back. I didn't get it from the store – I made it myself. Took a really long time, too." She still really wasn't paying attention to me at all. "Oh, c'mon, Bells. Don't pretend like I'm not here!"

"I'm not. Look, Jake, I've got a lot on my mind right now."

I put my hand under her chin lifting her eyes to mine. "Could I please have just a few seconds of your undivided attention, Miss Swan?"

She jerked away from my touch. "Keep your hands to yourself, Jacob," she hissed.

This was a side of Bella that I have never seen before, we have always been so comfortable around each other and for her to keep flinching away from me really hurt. "Sorry!" I raised my hands to show I wasn't going to touch her again and surrendered. "I really am sorry. About the other day, I mean, too. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. It was wrong. I guess . . . well, I guess I deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to."

"Deluded – what a perfect description!"

"Be nice. You could accept my apology, you know."

"Fine. Apology accepted. Now, if you'll just excuse me for a moment . . ."

"Okay," I mumbled. Clearly she didn't want me here and I wasn't even sure why I had come at all. I looked down at the floor trying to decide if I should just go. "I guess you'd rather be with your _real_friends," I said defeated. "I get it."

She groaned. "Aw, Jake, you know that's not fair."

"Do I?"

"You _should_." She leaned forward trying to position herself in my line of sight, but I didn't want her to see me so hurt, so I looked over her head instead of at the ground. "Jake? Hey, you said you made me something, right?" She asked. "Was that just talk? Where's my present?"

I just rolled my eyes and grimaced. She tried to act excited, but that just made it worse. Bella never had to pretend when she was with me, that is what made it special, she was completely herself.

She opened her hand in front of me. "I'm waiting."

"Right," I grumbled sarcastically. Did she forget that I can read her like an open book? However, I thought it best to take advantage of the opportunity presented and reached in my back pocket and pulled out her gift placing it in her open palm.

"Hey, that's pretty, Jake. Thanks!"

I sighed. "The present is _inside_, Bella."

"Oh."

She was struggling with the strings and I had pretty much lost my patience by this point so I took it from her and easily tugged the strings and dropped the bracelet into her open hand. The metal links clinked together and she started to look at it. "I didn't make the bracelet, just the charm." I clarified.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. "You _made_ this? How?"

I shrugged. "It's something Billy taught me. He's better at it than I am."

"That's hard to believe," she murmured while flipping it through her fingers.

"Do you really like it?"

"Yes! It's unbelievable, Jake."

I smiled really pleased that she liked it, and then I got worried that she wasn't going to wear it. "Well, I figured that maybe it would make you remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind."

"Here, help me put it on," she lifted her wrist out towards me.

I took the bracelet from her and easily clasped it around her wrist. "You'll wear it?"

"Of course I will."

I grinned at her, allowing myself to feel a little more relaxed, especially as she grinned back at me in return.

Then her eyes started darting throughout the room again, whatever she had been trying to do when I got her had distracted her again. "Why're you so distracted?" I wondered.

"It's nothing," she lied, trying to bring her attention back to me. "Thanks for the present, really. I love it."

"Bella?" I said, and she would be able to tell I knew she was lying. "Something's going on, isn't it?"

"Jake, I . . . no, there's nothing."

"Don't lie to me, you suck at lying. You should tell me what's going on. We want to know these things."

"Jacob, I will tell you. Just let _me_ figure out what's happening, okay? I need to talk to Alice."

The moment she said Alice, I knew that it had to be something she saw. "The psychic saw something."

"Yes, just when you showed up."

"Is this about the bloodsucker in your room?"

"It's related," she admitted.

I thought about it for a minute watching her face, she was holding something else back. "You know something you're not telling me . . . something _big_."

"Yes."

**FACTS:**

- I do NOT know that the wolf was made from Jacob and Bella's drift wood tree, but wasn't that an awesome idea! I do know that there is art made out of drift wood so it is possible. I also think whatever wood he used it was probably stained to match his skin, no one gets that lucky to just happen to find the right color wood out in nature.

- I do NOT know that the charm bracelet was his mother's but it made sense. It was either that or him buying it and it just made more sense for it to be his mom's.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – ALLIANCE **

_I thought about it for a minute watching her face, she was holding something else back. "You know something you're not telling me . . . something big." _

"_Yes." _

I looked at Bella for another second, this was big, and then I turned my eyes to Quil and Embry who were both still standing in the entryway of the house. They had been waiting for me so when our eyes met they immediately saw the change in me and started weaving through the crowd to be by my side. "Now. Explain." I demanded of Bella.

Embry and Quil looked back and forth between our faces, confused and wary.

"Jacob, I don't know everything," she said as she continued to search the house.

"What you _do_ know, then." We all three crossed our arms across our chests at exactly the same moment, and I watched her face waiting for a response.

"Alice!" Bella squeaked and Alice looked right back at her. Alice did seem to be concerned as Bella waved at her and she skipped to Bella's side.

"I need to talk to you," Alice murmured in Bella's ear.

"Er, Jake, I'll see you later . . ." Bella said as they started to go around us.

I threw my arm out, blocking their path. They were not getting away that easily. "Hey, not so fast."

Alice stared at me like she couldn't believe I had blocked them. "Excuse me?"

"Tell us what's going on," I demanded in a growl. Suddenly the freaky blonde, Jasper, appeared, and I think he seriously thought about dismembering my arm from my body so therefore I moved it out of the way. However, this was far from over. "We have a right to know." I glared at Alice. Jasper came and stood closer, putting himself in front of Alice. He was totally over reacting. I wasn't going to hurt her and I didn't even consider her hurting me a possibility.

"Hey, hey," Bella said with a slightly hysterical chuckle. "This is a party, remember."

We all ignored her and I continued glaring at Alice, I knew that she was the key to knowing what was going on. She began to talk about something going on in Seattle that was coming here and apparently the Cullens weren't enough to handle it themselves. I could feel my arms shaking and saw that Quil and Embry were shaking too. We may not have understood every detail, but our protective instincts were taking over. I did not like that Bella wanted to try and meet whatever it was that was coming after her.

I couldn't handle the confusion any longer. "Hold it," I ordered. "_What_ is coming?"

Alice glared at me. "Our kind. Lots of them."

"Why?"

"For Bella. That's all we know."

"There are too many for you?" I asked.

Jasper bridled. "We have a few advantages, dog. It will be an even fight."

"No," I had gathered enough of there conversation to know they couldn't handle it on their own. "It won't be _even_." We would be taking out as many as possible ourselves, it was the perfect opportunity to have leeches that we were allowed to kill.

"Excellent!" Alice hissed. She looked pleased for the first time that evening, she grinned at me and I smirked back at her. "Everything just disappeared, of course. That's inconvenient, but all things considered, I'll take it."

"We'll have to coordinate," I said. I never thought this day would happen so therefore we would need to prepare ourselves. "It won't be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours."

"I wouldn't go that far, but we need the help. We aren't going to be picky." Alice said. Without really meaning to we had both slowly gotten closer to each other, sort of testing the waters to see what it would be like to be together. She leaned up on her toes and I leaned down towards her, excited that it seemed that this would work however the smell was still horrible and we both wrinkled our noses against the other.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Bella interrupted us. "Coordinate?"

"You didn't honestly think you were going to keep us out of this?" I asked her.

"You _are_ staying out of this!"

"Your psychic doesn't think so."

"Alice – tell them no!" Bella insisted. "They'll get killed!"

The guys and I laughed out loud.

"Bella, separately we all could get killed. Together – "

"It'll be no problem," I finished for her. When did I start finishing sentences with a bloodsucker?

Quil laughed. "How many?" He asked eagerly.

"No!" Bella shouted.

Alice kept her attention on Quil. "It changes – twenty-one today, but the numbers are going down."

"Why?" I asked, curious. Of course I was curious, otherwise I wouldn't have asked.

"Long story," Alice looked around at the people surrounding us. "And this isn't the place for it."

I honestly had forgotten about the party that was supposedly going on. "Later tonight?" I pushed.

"Yes," Jasper answered. "We were already planning a . . . strategic meeting. If you're going to fight with us, you'll need some instruction."

It was ridiculous to think that he was going to have to instruct us on something, Quil rolled his eyes and I waited.

"No!" Bella continued to moan.

"This will be odd," Jasper said thoughtfully. "I never considered working together. This has to be a first."

"No doubt about that," I agreed. I also knew that I was going to need to talk to Sam very soon. "We've got to get back to Sam. What time?"

"What's too late for you."

We all three rolled our eyes. "What time?" I repeated.

"Three o'clock?"

"Where?"

"About ten miles due north of the Hoh Forest ranger station. Come at it from the west and you'll be able to follow our scent in."

"We'll be there." We turned to leave.

"Wait, Jake!" I heard Bella call. "_Please_! Don't do this!"

I stopped walking and looked back at her grinning and Quil and Embry went ahead and continued to the door. "Don't be ridiculous, Bells. You're giving me a much better gift than the one I gave you."

"No!" I heard her shout, but there wasn't anything more to say, so I quickly caught up with Quil and Embry and we drove straight to Sam's house.

In the car we tried to figure out the best way to talk to Sam without him beating the crap out of us for going in the first place. I told them before hand that I would take the heat from Sam if there was any, and I fully intended to do that. We parked in front of Sam's and all went inside, Sam and Emily were sitting on the couch in the living room, she was reading a book with her feet resting in Sam's lap and he was watching TV.

"Hey, Sam I need to talk to you."

"Alright, what's up." I am pretty sure he could already tell it was about Bella, it didn't take a genius to figure that out.

Quil and Embry grabbed a snack and sat down, they were both sort of nervous and pretended to watch whatever Sam had been watching. I came and stood behind the couch. "We just got back from Bella's graduation party . . ."

"At the Cullens?" He interrupted.

"Yep." I tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, but I knew he wasn't going to buy that.

"Jacob," he growled. "What are you, her pet?"

"Sam." I said irritated and insulted. "I was being her friend." He just rolled his eyes. "But that wasn't actually what I came to say." I told him about the large group of vampires that were coming, and how we sort of agreed to work with the Cullens to stop them.

"You shouldn't have done that without talking to me."

"Are you saying that we aren't fighting?"

"You said that they are coming here."

"Yeah."

"Then, we had better be ready. I don't like that the Cullens will know our pack size, but considering everything about this situation is different I suppose it doesn't matter."

"This is a momentary truce," I clarified. "If that treaty is broken we will fight them."

"You mean, _when_, Jacob."

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm not finished yet."

Emily began pulling out supplies for sandwiches, made three for Sam and Quil, Embry, and I made our own. I gave Billy a call letting him know what was going on tonight and to see if he needed me before he would put himself to bed. He said he would be fine and would want to know how things went tonight in the morning. In the next several hours most of the pack gathered here on their own, it was the natural place for most of them to just be themselves. The only ones missing were Leah and Seth, so when it was time to gather Sam went and got them.

He wanted to have a pack meeting to discuss everything that was going to happen with a large group of vampires coming to the area. For Sam protecting the tribe is always his top priority.

_Brady, Collin, and Seth you will remain inside our boarders at all time making sure that nothing gets through. _Sam informed.

_Why am I being included? _Seth asked.

_You are still too young Seth. _

_I'm just as old as Leah is_.

Leah growled circling around her little brother. _Oh, hell no you are not!_

_In wolf years, you know it's true Leah._ He tried to justify.

_Seth there is more to it than simply being a young wolf. _

_That is a load of crap, and you know it. I even phased before Quil, if anyone should stay behind it should be him. _Seth added stubbornly.

_Hey, don't bring me into this. _Quil complained.

_Seth, let me think about it, we need to get going otherwise we will be late. _

We gathered together and then took off following the instructions that Jasper had given us. Their scent was easy to find and we followed it until we were getting close to a clearing that was just ahead. Before we got there Sam stopped to talk to us all.

_I want to be perfectly clear we are not here to attack them, we will NOT be the ones to break the treaty. Do I need to alpha order anyone to make it where you can't attack?_ There was soft murmurs throughout the group. _Paul? _Sam asked.

_No, I'll keep it together. _He said confidently.

_Leah? _Sam asked.

_You wouldn't dare_. She challenged. He let it go, even though he would have if he really felt like she couldn't keep it together.

Sam had Jared and Paul on either side of him and Collin was directly behind Sam, I had Embry and Quil on either side of me and Brady was behind me and Leah and Seth were between mine and Sam's group. We were worried that the newer wolves wouldn't be able to control themselves, and we knew that a fight breaking out now would not be good. As we approached I was surprised to see Bella with them.

Carlisle took a slow step towards us, I could tell he meant it to cause no harm but I could see Brady jumping behind me.

"Welcome," he greeted.

_Thank you_ Sam said, and Edward translated. _We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control._

"That is more than enough," Carlisle answered. "My son Jasper" - he gestured to where Jasper stood, tensed and ready - "has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I'm sure you can apply this to your own hunting style."

_They are different from you?_

Carlisle nodded. "They are all very new – only months old to this life. Children, in a way. They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength. Tonight their numbers stand at twenty. Ten for us, ten for you – it shouldn't be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves."

As a group we murmured together excited about the opportunity to have bloodsuckers that we were allowed to kill and would have easily taken on more than ten. _We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary_.

Carlisle smiled. "We'll see how it plays out." I wondered if it would be difficult for them to take out their own kind and if that would be a hindrance for them.

_Do you know when and how they'll arrive?_

"They'll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path."

_Thank you for the information. We will watch_.

We each sat in order to watch and listened to Jasper's instructions. I know they kept talking about how strong and different these were, but honestly I couldn't understand what they were so worked up about. Having the burly Cullen, Emmett, demonstrate was helpful and I could see how he relied on his strength rather than skill. Watching Jasper's quick movements was fascinating, I knew from Laurent how fast they could be, but it was different chasing him. We didn't really stand and fight him, we chased and then tore him to pieces, I could see how this was going to be different.

"It's my turn," Edward protested, and I saw Bella hold tighter to him. I hated so much how she would cling to his side like he was the greatest thing ever, why didn't she see that we were all in this mess because of them.

"In a minute." Jasper grinned, stepping back. "I want to show Bella something first." He waved Alice forward. "I know you worry about her, I want to show you why that's not necessary."

He sank back to get ready to attack, Alice's movements were so tiny yet effective, she knew exactly where to be in order for his movements to miss. Victoria is the only female leech that we have come into contact with and I knew that I would not have any trouble at all killing her, however Alice seemed so tiny and fragile I wondered what it would be like to be attacking her.

Suddenly she was on his back, her lips at his neck. "Gotcha," she said, and kissed his throat.

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. "You truly are one frightening little monster." It was intense how quickly she had moved and we were impressed despite not really wanting to be.

"It's good for them to learn some respect," Edward murmured, amused. "My turn." Edward left Bella's side and Alice came and stood by her. I was really interested in seeing Edward fight, with his mind reading I knew it would be a well balanced fight, almost like Alice. Edward and Jasper came at each other again and again, Jasper using different moves each time and Edward being even faster than Alice had been. He had speed that I honestly didn't even know was possible to have, Leah was the only one who would come close.

Carlisle interrupted them and it was declared a draw, and then Jasper continued with the remaining Cullen members, giving tips and instructions to them as they went. For the most part my eyes were glued to them watching every move that they made, however I couldn't help but steal glances at Bella every so often. I noticed that she was getting more and more tired as the evening progressed. Jasper turned towards us for the first time speaking directly to us. "We'll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again."

_Yes_, w_e'll be here_. _However it would be good if we can familiarize ourselves with your scent, so that no mistakes are made. The stiller you can be the better it will be for us. _Sam said and again Edward translated.

"Certainly," Carlisle said to Sam. "Whatever you need."

For us it wasn't about getting their scent because only one of us needed to smell them for that, it was more to assure that we could be near them, smelling them right next to us and still not attacking them. Sam went first and Seth was at his side extremely nervous, but determined to prove that he should be included in the fight. Leah was a mess of emotions at being concerned for her brother and just the absolute hatred that she had for the Cullens. The rest of the pack was intense because of them being vampires, but indifferent to them being _Cullens_. Quil was the exception he might have given them a high five for coming back and making it so that he joined the pack. I had spent time with each one at one point when being outside Bella's house so I knew what they smelled like and I knew I could smell them without attacking, so this littler exercise wasn't a big deal for me.

FACTS:

- There really wasn't much here, however it is clear from Edward that there is a lot going on in the pack mind during this (mostly Leah causing trouble, thinking of things they didn't want to think about), but I couldn't figure out how to add it. Also from Jacob's POV, I do not think he would pay attention to the random pack "chatter", because he is used to it.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Jake and Bells

So I watched Bella as she watched each wolf until her eyes settled on me. I could see the recognition in her eyes and smiled at her, however my lips moved back showing my huge teeth and my tongue slipped out. She giggled and I smiled bigger and left my place in within the pack to come closer to her.

_Jacob what are you doing?_ Sam asked, as I came right past Alice and Edward.  
_Just trust me._ I answered back. _I know what I am doing_. I placed myself about two feet away from her and looked at Edward watching his response, I knew it was not going to go over well if we got into a fight right now. He was completely still watching Bella's face, I assume making sure that she was comfortable with me being so close. I brought my front legs down lowering my head to be even with her own, hoping that the stance would be less intimidating and they would both know that I wasn't going to hurt her.

"Jacob?" She breathed.  
I laughed and a low rumble came from my chest. She slowly reached her hand out and lightly brushed her hand across the fur around my face. Her touching me was even better than what I had imagined when I came over to her and I closed my eyes and leaned more into her hand. It felt really good and a low rumble built in my chest.

I could hear the shock and wonder from my brothers as she continued to run her fingers through my fur, it was absolutely amazing.  
_Are you purring?_ Quil asked.  
_Shut up!_ I tried to yell at him, but my mind was a little muddled.  
As she pet me I could feel her slowly coming closer to me and at times could feel her graze my neck or shoulder. I opened my eyes and I could see her face just inches from mine and I wanted to touch her and quickly licked her from chin across her cheek to her hairline.

"Ew! Gross, Jake!" She complained, jumping back and I saw her hand come back to smack me and moved so that there would be no chance of her hurting herself again. I laughed, it coming out as a coughing bark, for a moment I thought she might be angry for me kissing her again, but she laughed as she wiped her face with her sleeve.

She looked around seeming to realize that we weren't alone and I also looked at the faces of those around us. All the Cullens seemed really grossed out, however Edward looked pissed, it was clear that he did not like how comfortable she was with me. I laughed again.

_Time to go_. Sam informed. Everyone turned to go and started to leave except for Quil and Embry, they turned back to me.  
_Come on Jake_. Embry pleaded.  
_I'll catch up_.  
_Take care of yourself._ Quil warned.  
_Don't worry, I'll be fine. _ Then they took off with the others.

I saw Edward take Bella's hand and ask if she was ready to go. _Hey, not so fast. What are the plans for Bella during this big fight?_  
"I've not quite figured out all the details yet." Edward answered.  
_She shouldn't be anywhere near here_.  
"It's more complicated than that," Edward said. "Don't concern yourself; I'll make sure it's safe."

"What are you talking about?" Bella demanded.  
"Just discussing strategy," Edward answered vaguely.  
I looked at both Edward and Bella and it didn't look like Edward had any plans to actually discuss it with Bella and she deserved to have an opinion on the matter. I bolted into the trees so that I could speak for myself, phased and slipped on my black sweat pants and came back out to them.

I ignore the remaining Cullens and approached Edward. "Okay, bloodsucker, what's so complicated about it?"  
"I have considered every possibility." He said, unruffled. "What if someone gets past you?"  
I snorted, that was ridiculous we were so ready for this. "Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We're making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She'll be safe there."

Bella scowled. "Are you talking about me?"  
"I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight," I explained.  
"Do with me?"  
"You can't stay in Forks, Bella." Edward said, his voice was pacifying. I do not understand how she puts up what that? "They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?"  
She immediately paled. "Charlie?" She gasped.  
"He'll be with Billy," I assured her quickly. "If my dad has to commit murder to get him there, he'll do it. Probably it won't take much. It's this Saturday, right? There a game."

Bella randomly started talking about some graduation present for Edward and tickets, I wasn't paying that close attention. I wanted to think of what we needed to do with Bella, and nothing seemed to be as good as keeping her on the res.

"But what about keeping her in La Push?" I really wanted to get this settled.  
"She's been back and forth too much," Edward said. "She's left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he – Edward paused and looked at Bella – or she is, this could all be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can't leave her somewhere she's been frequently. She has to be hard to find, just in case. It's a very long shot, but I'm not taking chances." Bella clearly didn't like all that information and he lightly patted her arm. "Just being overcautious," he continued.

I gestured out into the woods. "So hide her here," I suggested. "There's a million possibilities – places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there's a need.  
Edward shook his head, I'll give him a little credit it is clear he has put a lot of thought into this. He explain how distinct her scent is, especially combined with Edward's, he didn't really have to explain that to me of course I knew that. I hated the idea that the army might track her scent before the battle even got started.

"There has to be a way to make it work," I muttered, frustrated I continued to look around at the forest that surrounded us. There were just way too many possibilities out there for us to not be able to figure something out. He mentioned carrying her and the distinct smell of her with Edward, but what about her smell with me.

"I need to get you home – you're exhausted." Edward said to Bella, he was basically holding her up at his side. "And Charlie will be waking up soon . . ."  
"Wait a sec, my scent disgusts you. Right?" _Let me carry her and cover her scent with my own_.  
"Hmm, not bad." Edward said. "It's possible." He turned towards his family.  
"Jasper?"  
Jasper look up curiously, and I was pretty confused as well. He walked over with Alice by his side, and I could tell that it involved me because Alice looked frustrated again.

"Okay, Jacob." Edward nodded at me, and I turned towards Bella.  
Not only would I be able to help protect her, but I was going to get to hold her again, I really missed being able to touch her. I reached my arms out to her and she looked at me like I had lost my mind. "We're going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail," I explained.  
She still looked at my arms suspiciously. "You're going to have to let him carry you, Bella." I never thought I would see the day that Edward was helping me to be able to hold her, however it was easy to tell that it was not easy for him.

Bella frowned, and this was getting ridiculous she was all over my wolf just minutes before and now she didn't want to touch me. I rolled my eyes and reached down to scoop her into my arms, however gave another quick look at Edward to make sure that he was okay with this. I'm not really sure I would have stopped if he wasn't, but I thought it would be a good idea to double check.

He seemed to pretty much ignore me so I decided to do that same and carried Bella into the woods. I pulled her tight to my chest with one arm around her shoulders the other was behind her knees, as I walked further into the trees it got darker. I made a wide arc and then came back towards the clearing, I could see Edward ahead. I loved having her in my arms, but it honestly was a little strange with Edward also being so close.

"You can put me down now."  
"I don't want to take a chance of messing up the experiment." I reasoned, slowing my steps and holding her a little tighter.  
"You are so annoying," she muttered.  
"Thanks."  
I heard Jasper and Alice approach and stand next to Edward, I moved a little closer, and placed Bella back down. She never looked at me as she walked over to them and took Edward's hand. I don't think she could have been more clear that she was glad to be back at his side, and it really hurt to see them together.

"Well?" She asked.  
"As long as you don't touch anything, Bella, I can't imagine someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent. " Jasper grimaced.  
"It was almost completely obscured."  
"A definite success," Alice agree, wrinkling her nose at me.  
"And it gave me an idea," Jasper said.  
"Which will work," Alice added confidently.  
"Clever," Edward agreed.  
"How do you stand that?" I muttered to Bella.

Edward remained focused on Bella, ignoring me. He explained that Bella would leave a false trail and be able to lead them exactly to where we want to fight them. Once they catch their scent the group will split in half trying to attack the Cullens from both sides, he confirmed that it would work through Alice's loosing sight of half the battle. MY half of the battle.  
"Yes!" I hissed. Edward smiled at me and I could see that we truly had a common purpose, and for a moment we could work towards the same goal.

"Not a chance," Edward said suddenly, and for once it wasn't _my_ thoughts that irritated him. Jasper apparently thought it would be some great idea to actually have Bella be there, like a coward he quickly back tracked, but I was disgusted that he thought of it to begin with. To think that I was trusting these idiots to keep Bella safe. Edward tried to justify his actions, but it didn't really matter because Bella so wasn't going to be there.

"I'll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I'll take another route there."  
"And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?" I asked critically.  
"You have a better idea?"  
I thought about it for a second and then knew I had the answer. "Actually, I do." _A wolf, with our mental link we will know exactly what is happening in both places._  
"Oh . . . Again, dog, not bad at all," he interrupted.  
_You seriously need to stay out of my head, I have a voice you know._

I turned to Bella so that she would know what was going on. "We tried to talk Seth out of staying behind with the younger two. He's still too young, but he's stubborn and he's resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him – cell phone."  
The poor girl was still so confused. "As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack," Edward said. "Distance isn't a problem?" He asked me.  
"Nope." I knew that we have been over three hundred miles, and still no problems.  
"Three hundred miles?" Edward asked. "That's impressive."  
_Seriously, stop responding to my thoughts_. "That's the farthest we've ever gone to experiment," I told Bella. "Still clear as a bell."

"It's a good idea." Edward seemed reluctant to admit this. "I'll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!"  
"Fighting with vampires instead of against them!" I matched the same level of disgust in Edward.  
"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," Edward added.  
I smiled. "That's the reason we're here."

The sky was starting to brighten with the morning light and Bella was about to pass out standing up, Edward scooped her up in his arms and she was asleep the next second. I looked at her beautiful face for a moment and then back at Edward, we then departed knowing that we would be back again the following night.

I ran home and had a huge breakfast with Dad filling him in on everything that had happened, it didn't take too long and then I took a shower and went straight to bed. It was evening before I woke up again. I made myself several sandwiches and then I knew I needed to talk to Sam before we went back out there again. I went to his house and explained the plan of me carrying Bella and he really liked the idea of Seth watching her.  
"Alright, lets head out." Sam called to everyone.  
"You know Sam we don't all have to go again." Jared pointed out.  
"Yeah I know, but it isn't fair to just send some." Sam reasoned  
"I'll go." I volunteered. "You all can stay and get everything from me."  
"Jake, you are getting way too familiar with them, they are still our enemy."  
"Believe me, I have not forgotten that." I growled. "But I also know that they are not going to hurt me, whether they like it or not they need us."  
"That is a valid point, and truthfully you are probably right, but I think if only you go that they will think that we do not consider them a threat."  
I knew with Edward around, they would know everything regardless of how many of us went, but there was no point in arguing.  
"Em? Quil? Do you mind coming?" I asked them.  
"Sure, sure." Embry replied and Quil shrugged.

With that settled the three of us made it to the meeting spot. The Cullens were around, but they seemed much more relaxed this time, even without Edward there, so I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. The three of us chatted easily with each other while Emmett and Jasper wrestled with each other. Quil loved watching, but still really wished that he could get in on the action.

It didn't take long for Edward to come with Bella on him once again, he sat her down and she looked around at the scene before her. I heard her ask about there not being more of us wolves, so I knew that she saw us here, she seemed much more alert tonight than the previous night. However, she also seemed troubled and maybe even guilty as she watched the Cullens, so when she looked over at me I smiled at her.

I could see her try to smile, but it was more of a grimace. I wanted to see what I could do to make her feel better. _I'm going to go be with Bella_  
Embry rolled his eyes. _Good luck_.  
I sprung to my feet and trotted over to her, Edward acknowledged me and I guess that was nice, but also a little weird, clearly I wasn't coming to see him. I looked right at Bella and lowered myself to her level, it wasn't going to be easy to communicate without words but I felt confident that she would understand. _Are you okay?_  
"I'm fine," I loved that she didn't need Edward's translation. "Just worried, you know."  
_That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about_?

"He wants to know why," Edward murmured.  
I growled, really annoyed. _You know, you really suck at translating_.  
"What?" Bella asked.  
Edward explained that I didn't like his translation and he had edited because he thought it was rude.  
Bella half smiled through her nervousness. "There's plenty to be worried about," she told me. "Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt."  
I laughed my coughing bark.  
Edward sighed. "Jasper wants help. You'll be okay without a translator?"  
"I'll manage." Bella told him, and I could see that he didn't like how close we were, even in this form I was still Jake to her and she was my Bells.

Edward walked away and Bella sat down on the ground. I wanted to come sit by her, but I also knew that I wasn't really going to be able to see and knew that my main purpose for being here.  
_Guys, will you cover for me,_ I whined. _I'll come back if you need me too_.  
_Naw, we know that is why you're really here._ Quil countered.  
_Thanks_!  
"Go on without me," Bella told me. "I don't want to watch."  
I leaned my head to the side confused for a moment, and then realized she thought I was really wanting to watch, which wasn't the case. I folded myself to the ground next to her.  
"Really, you can go ahead."

Silly girl, I just put my head down on my paws trying to make it more obvious that I wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. Bella looked up at the sky and seemed to be deep in thought. I wondered what she was thinking and then saw her shiver so I scooted myself closer to her pressing my fur into her side.  
"Er, thanks," she muttered.  
After a few minutes she leaned against my shoulder and slowly began to run her fingers through the fur at my neck. This was seriously the best feeling in the world, I loved the way she would touch and feel me, my chest rumbled in contentment.  
"You know, I never had a dog," she mused. "I always wanted one, but Renee's allergic."  
I laughed and I could feel her body shake against my own.

"Aren't you worried about Saturday at all?" Bella asked.  
I turned my head so that she could see my eyes and rolled them. It was some of my own personality coming through the wolf, but also the best way to communicate how ridiculous that was.  
"I wish that I could feel that positive."  
We had shifted so that I could rest my head on her leg and rumbled to try and show her how calm she should be, it seemed to work and I could feel her relax further.  
"So we've got some hiking to do tomorrow, I guess."  
I rumbled excited about being able to be with her in my human form, and be able to carry her and contribute to keeping her safe.  
"It might be a long hike," she warned. "Edward doesn't judge distances the way a normal person does."

I barked out a laugh, but it was also sort of sad how much Bella underestimates us wolves. She has seen her vampires in action before when they saved her from James, and while she knows that we killed Laurent she doesn't really understand. While I was lost in my own thoughts Bella settled deeper into myself so that I was wrapped around her and her head rested against my neck. We didn't say anymore to each other, but was comfortable with the silence as the practice continued.


	15. Chapter 15

I couldn't decide so this one gets two songs

youtube dot com/watch?v=PjLSWCz-yVs

youtube dot com/watch?v=AEpJpktTFxw

**Chapter 15 – PREPARATION**

As soon as the training session was complete I went home and crashed. Though it was extremely relaxing to have Bella curled up on my side, running her hand through my fur, I wouldn't allow myself to fall asleep. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her, and maybe Bella wanted the same because she didn't fall asleep either, but relaxed comfortably at my side.

Once I was finally able to sleep I had multiple dreams of the fight that was coming. At times everything went perfectly and it was over so quickly that it was almost boring. Other times I saw Edward and myself fighting, but instead of each other it was side by side actually working together. The last was seeing Victoria with her wild red hair crouching towards Bella, while Seth was distracted, and she took Bella with her into the woods never to be seen again.

I awoke with a shudder and knew I needed to find Seth immediately. Sam wanted to have some fight training today and I knew that Seth had just found his new partner, Me. I was going to make sure that he was ready for anything that could possibly happen while he was guarding Bella. After biting and hitting him several times he finally was able to read my body language, I even fought him human a few times so he could see what it would like to be fighting something on two legs instead of four.

Surprisingly he seemed to have even a harder time with me human. "Come on Seth, you should be able to hit me easier now." He lowered his head and whined. "Don't give me that crap! Hit me!"

We danced around each other, but he still wasn't really trying to get me, he quickly phased and sat on the ground. "I don't want to hurt you, Jake."

"You can attack me as a wolf, but not when I'm human."

"That is the thing, when you're human . . . you're weaker." He flinched knowing that I was going to be pissed that he said that.

I growled. "Just because I look human, does not make me weak. And remember those filthy leeches will look human as well. You have to know how to attack something on two legs."

"Alright, alright." Seth huffed and phased back and we circled around each other and the rest of the time Seth was able to get some solid hits in and I phased back as well before he could seriously hurt me.

Leah helped as well, she did not like the idea that her brother was going to be alone and on his own, so also wanted to make sure he was fully prepared. It worked great when Leah and I would both be human and he had to defend against us both. He didn't handle attacking his sister well at all, but at least it worked to help him work on his defense skills. We picked a large rock to be Bella and we would try to get to it and for him not to allow us, Leah was still amazing fast even as human and could jump on his back and when distracted with her I would usually be able to get to the rock. Sometimes it was more successful, Seth would throw Leah to the ground, and be able to stop me in time.

The longer we practiced the better Seth got and by the end of the day I felt confident that he knew what he was doing. We were starving and went to Emily's for food, she really out did herself with massive amounts of roasted chicken, bbq ribs, baked beans, corn, and potato salad. I have never seen more food in one place, but the whole pack was eating together tonight and so it would be gone quickly. Sam was giving us the day off tomorrow making sure that everyone would be well rested and healed from any injuries received while training today.

I went home, helped Dad get his fishing gear ready for his day with Charlie. They were going to spend the day together with Old Quil's boat here on the reservation. After getting Dad ready for bed I went straight to sleep myself. I knew that we were ready for the fight and my dreams agreed, however instead of dreams of fighting I had dreams of Bella.

My dreams were frantic not staying on any one thing for very long, however perfectly represented the urgency of being with Bella. I knew that my time with her was coming to an end, unless I could do something to change her mind. I have tried loving her with everything that I have, I openly placed my feelings before her so that there would be no confusion on my side, but it didn't do any good. If only Bella would do the same, let her feelings be open, and really be honest with herself, she needed to know her real feelings for me before it was too late.

By the time I woke up it was mid afternoon and so I had a huge meal, filling myself more than ever before, knowing that my next few meals were going to be raw. Dad stayed at the house and ate with me as well.

"Are you guys ready?" Billy asked.

"Yeah, I really think we are." I answered as I took my last bite.

"Please be careful out there Jacob. This is something that our tribe has never encountered before."

"The group of newborns? Or us working with the Cullens?"

"Both. I know it has to be done, but it makes me nervous. I wish that there was more that I could do."

"You will be watching Charlie, and I know that there isn't anyone that Bella trusts more than you for that responsibility."

"Yeah, I'm sure that is right."

"Well I need to head out." I looked into my father's eyes and for the first time I saw fear mixed with helplessness. Being disabled has never made him seem helpless, he continued to be the rock and support of my family and our tribe despite that difficulty. I hated seeing him so unsure and he really didn't want me to go.

"Come here Jake." He rolled away from the table and I knelt down beside his chair, placing my hands on his knees. His hands rested around my face and I leaned so that we were eye to eye. "Libiti olli xaxiktiya, xw pa, hachli ho."

"I will, I promise." I reached over, wrapped my arms around his neck, and we hung tightly to each other.

"I love you, son," his voice was rough from fear and worry.

"I love you too, Dad." He gave me a final pat on the shoulder and I stood to walk out the door. I opened it and I could feel the pressure outside, a storm was coming and I could feel it was going to be big.

I turned back to the hall closet and grabbed a parka, and Dad gave me a questioning look. "It's for Bella in case she isn't prepared for the storm coming."

"I see. Take care of yourself."

"I will."

I ran to the clearing and slipped on my shorts as I saw Edward and Bella walking hand in hand across the clearing.

"Where are we meeting Jacob?" Bella asked.

"Right here." Edward gestured toward the trees right as I stepped through them.

I crossed my arms over my bare chest and held on to the jacket that I had brought for Bella in my fists, I was excited about having this opportunity to be with Bella, it has been a while since I have actually spent some alone time with her. I thought of how she would feel in my arms and her body being pressed to my chest.

"There had to be a better way to do this." Edward frowned.

"Too late now," Bella muttered back, and Edward sighed. Damn, could these two seem any less excited to see me. "Hey, Jake," Bella greeted me as they got closer.

"Hi, Bella."

"Hello, Jacob," Edward acknowledged.

He is such a freak, I just want to know where to take her so that he will leave. "Where do I take her?"

Edward pulled a map from the side pocket of his pack and handed it to me. I unfolded it.

"We're here now," Edward said, and reached towards me on the right spot on the map. I recoiled from his hand, and then tried to steady myself. _Dude, I have eyes I can see just fine_. Edward continued completely ignoring my reaction to him, "and you're taking her up here," he drew a line between the two places. "Roughly nine miles."

I nodded once familiar with the area.

"When you're about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the map?"

"No, thanks. I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I'm going." _Lived here all my life remember? _

"I'll take a longer route," Edward said. "And I'll see you in a few hours." He looked at Bella like he really didn't like the idea of leaving her.

"See you," Bella murmured, and Edward took off into the trees going the other direction.

My mood brightened when he left, it was just so difficult trying to keep my control around him because my wolf keeps telling me to attack, and the jealousy in me wants to as well.

"What's up, Bella?" I asked with a big grin.

She rolled her eyes. "Same old, same old."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Bunch of vampires trying to kill you. The usual."

"The usual."

"Well," it didn't seem that she needed the jacket right now so I slipped my arms through it so I wouldn't have to carry it. "Let's get going."

Bella made an unhappy face, and took a small step closer to me. I still found it really annoying how she was so timid around me in my human form. I bent down and swept my arm behind her knees knocking them out from under her and easily caught her with my other hand before she would hit the ground.

"Jerk," Bella muttered.

I chuckled, knowing that I deserved that, and began running through the trees. I kept a steady pace at a brisk jog, barely noticing her weight in my arms as I went.

"You don't have to run. You'll get tired."

"Running doesn't make me tired," I said. My breathing was even and I hadn't really thought about the fact that I probably should have been breathing hard. "Besides, it will be colder soon. I hope he gets the camp set up before we get there."

She brushed her hand against the thick parka. "I thought you didn't get cold now."

"I don't. I brought this for you, just in case you weren't prepared." I looked at her jacket, annoyed that I was wearing it instead of her. "I don't like the way the weather feels. It's making me edgy. Notice how we haven't seen any animals?" I had really become more aware of nature since I became part of it, I could easily feel the change in weather, especially as a wolf.

"Um, not really." Bella responded.

"I guess you wouldn't. Your senses are too dull."

"Alice was worried about the storm, too."

"It takes a lot to silence the forest this way. You picked a hell of a night for a camping trip."

"It wasn't entirely my idea."

That was a good point. I continued to climb up the mountain leaping easily from rock to rock, her bracelet moved as I sprinted along and I saw a diamond heart added to it. That didn't take long and thought it was weird that she had something so quickly added, maybe she just already had it. "What's with the addition to your bracelet?" I asked.

She looked down at it and then shrugged, trying to hide her guilt. "Another graduation present."

Just when I didn't think that Edward could be more insecure he had to add something to a present that was given by me. If he wanted to give her something he should have gotten his own instead of piggy backing onto mine. Besides, who just happens to have huge diamonds lying around?

I snorted. "A rock. Figures." Once again she looked down at the bracelet looking at it like she hadn't really seen it before now. "So it's been a while since you came down to La Push," I said bringing her focus back to myself.

"I've been busy," she told me. "And . . . I probably wouldn't have visited, anyway."

Ouch, that hurt, I grimaced. "I thought you were supposed to be the forgiving one, and I was the grudge-holder." She simply shrugged, not saying any more. "Been thinking about that last time a lot, have you?" I challenged.

"Nope."

I laughed. "Either you're lying, or you are the stubbornest person alive."

"I don't know about the second part, but I'm not lying."

I shifted her weight slightly so that I could see her face better and brought my own closer to hers. "A smart person looks at all sides of a decision."

"I have," she retorted.

"If you haven't thought at all about our . . . er, conversation the last time you came over, then that's not true." She should know better than to try lying to me.

"That _conversation_ isn't relevant to my decision."

How on earth could it not be relevant? It is everything! "Some people will go to any lengths to delude themselves."

"I've noticed that werewolves in particular are prone to that mistake – do you think it's a genetic thing?"

"Does that mean that he's a better kisser than I am?" I asked, knowing that it would really suck for that to be true.

"I really couldn't say, Jake. Edward is the only person I've ever kissed."

"Besides me."

"But I don't count that as a kiss, Jacob. I think of it more as an assault."

"Ouch!" I really hope she was exaggerating. "That's cold." She shrugged, not taking her words back, which hurt even more. "I did apologize about that," I reminded her.

"And I forgave you . . . mostly. It doesn't change the way I remember it."

She was totally ruining the way that I remembered it, I didn't want to admit that she had been resisting me the whole time.

We were both quiet for a while lost in our own thoughts. I didn't feel like I was making any progress in helping her to realize that she was making the worst mistake of her life by staying with Edward. I kept trying to think of something else that I could do, but I kept coming back to kissing her again, that didn't go over well the first time, unless of course she asked me to kiss her that would be fantastic.

"I still think it's pretty irresponsible," I suddenly said, breaking the silence.

"Whatever you're talking about, you're wrong."

"Think about it, Bella. According to you, you've kissed just one person – who isn't even really a person – in your whole life, and you're calling it quits? How do you know that's what you want? Shouldn't you play the field a little?"

"I know exactly what I want," she said evenly.

"Then it couldn't hurt to double check. Maybe you should try kissing someone else – just for comparison's sake . . . since what happened the other day doesn't count. You could kiss _me_, for example. I don't mind if you want to use me to experiment." Yeah, I know that was pathetic and lame, and in case she still wasn't getting the message I pulled her into my chest bringing her face closer to mine, and smiled down at her.

"Don't mess with me, Jake. I swear I won't stop him if he wants to break your jaw."

Her voice faltered and I could hear the panic there and so I knew that I was getting to her, causing me to smile wider. "If you _ask_ me to kiss you, he won't have any reason to get upset. He said that was fine."

"Don't hold your breath, Jake – no, wait, I changed my mind. Go right ahead. Just hold your breath until I ask you to kiss me."

"You're in a bad mood today."

"I wonder why?"

"Sometimes I think you like me better as a wolf."

"Sometimes I do. It probably has something to do with the way you _can't talk_."

What a load of crap, it has nothing to do with not being able to speak and everything to do with me not being a man when I am a wolf. I pursed my lips debating on whether to call her on it and figured why not. "No, I don't think that's it. I think it's easier for you to be near me when I'm not human, because you don't have to pretend that you're not attracted to me."

Her mouth fell open like she was insulted or surprised, not sure which, however her irritation became clear as she ground her teeth together. It was easy to see that she was over reacting to that comment which seemed to show how true it was and I smiled triumphantly.

She took a slow breath. "No. I'm pretty sure it's because you can't talk."

I sighed. "Do you ever get tired of lying to yourself? You have to know how aware you are of me. Physically, I mean." I just hope that she wasn't going to try and deny it again.

"How could anyone _not_ be aware of you physically, Jacob?" She demanded. "You're an enormous monster who refuses to respect anyone else's personal space."

She was completely missing the point. "I make you nervous. But only when I'm human. When I'm a wolf, you're more comfortable around me."

"Nervousness and irritation are not the same thing."

I stared down at her amazed that she was so blind to the danger that surrounded her, but even more blind to myself even though she clearly stared back at me. My mind was a mess not knowing what I should do, I slowed down the pace to think, but I knew I needed to get her to shelter so I picked up the pace again. I wondered if she would really have Edward fight me if I were to kiss her again, I brought my face closer to hers once again testing the waters to see what she would do.

She just looked right back at me, not moving closer or further away either. "It's your face," she reminded me.

I laughed loudly and started jogging again. "I don't really want to fight with your vampire tonight – I mean, any other night, sure. But we both have a job to do tomorrow, and I wouldn't want to leave the Cullens one short." Her face suddenly changed and she seemed hurt from my statement. "I know, I know," I responded. "You think he could take me." She was thinking about this way too seriously, I wasn't sure if she was worried about myself hurting Edward or about him hurting me, but she was clearly very disturbed and I wanted to make her feel better. "What's the matter with you, Bella? If something I said upset you, you know I was only kidding. I didn't mean anything – " I was really getting worried because she still looked really freaked out, maybe even guilty, like she might cry. "Hey, are you okay? Don't cry, Bella," I pled.

"I'm not going to cry." She said, while trying to pull herself together.

"What did I say?"

"It's nothing you said. It's just, well, it's me. I did something . . . bad." I was really confused, I couldn't think of anything that she could have done that she would need to feel so guilty over. "Edward isn't going to fight tomorrow," she whispered her explanation. "I'm making him stay with me. I am a huge coward."

I frowned, really concerned that it was more serious than I knew about. "You think this isn't going to work? That they'll find you here? Do you know something I don't know?"

"No, no. I' not afraid of that. I just . . . I _can't_ let him go. If he didn't come back . . ." she shuddered and closed her eyes.

I felt like I was going to be sick that she was so wrapped up in him, she has survived loosing him before and I knew she would survive loosing him again, I would make sure of it. I knew better than to say anything so I just waited for her to continue.

"If anyone gets hurt, it will always be my fault. And even if no one does . . . I was horrible. I had to be, to convince him to stay with me. He won't hold it against me, but I'll always know what I'm capable of."

Good God, what could she possible have over him? I hated seeing her so dependent on him, he may not be a leech attached to her body, but he was still sucking the life out of her. What happened to the girl who would pick herself up again when she crashed her motorcycle not letting anything stop her? "I can't believe he let you talk him out of going. I wouldn't miss this for anything."

She sighed. "I know."

I didn't mean that the way it came out. "That doesn't mean anything though. That doesn't mean that he loves you more than I do."

"But _you_ wouldn't stay with me, even if I begged."

Damn, why does she know me so well? I wanted to deny it, but she would have known I was lying, Bella knew me too well for me to try lying to her. "That's only because I know you better. Everything's going to go without a hitch. Even if you'd asked and I'd said no, you wouldn't be mad at me afterwards."

"If everything does go without a hitch, you're probably right. I wouldn't be mad. But the whole time you're gone, I'll be sick with worry, Jake. Crazy with it."

"Why?" I asked gruffly. "Why does it matter to you if something happens to me?"

"Don't say that. You know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry it's not the way you want, but that's just how it is. You're my best friend. At least, you used to be. And still sometimes are . . . when you let your guard down."

I wish she knew that the guard was for my own protection not against her, I knew how badly she could hurt me, but she was worth that risk. I smiled at her, filled with all the love that I felt for her and the memory of the friendship that we have shared. "I'm always that," I promised. "Even when I don't . . . behave as well as I should. Underneath, I'm always in here."

"I know. Why else would I put up with all your crap?"

We laughed together, talking about the way things used to be once again I could see the love that she has for me reflected in her eyes. "_When_ are you finally going to figure out that you're in love with me, too?"

"Leave it to you to ruin the moment."

"I'm not saying you don't love him. I'm not stupid. But it's possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. I've seen it in action."

"I'm not some freaky werewolf, Jacob."

At the same moment we came across Edward's path and I could smell him in the area, it was disgusting and I wrinkled my nose. "We're not far now, I can smell him."

She sighed and leaned further against me.

"I'd happily slow down, Bella, but you're going to want to be under shelter before _that_ hits."

We both looked up at the sky and a solid wall of purple-black clouds were coming towards us darkening everything in it's path.

"Wow," Bella muttered. "You'd better hurry, Jake. You'll want to get home before it gets here."

"I'm not going home."

She glared at me. "You're not camping with us."

That would be weird. "Not technically – as in, sharing your tent or anything. I prefer the storm to the smell. But I'm sure your bloodsucker will want to keep in touch with the pack for coordination purposes, and so I will graciously provide that service."

"I thought that was Seth's job."

"He'll take over tomorrow, during the fight."

She looked at me and I could see that she was still really worried about the fight tomorrow. "I don't suppose there's any way you'd just stay since you're already here?" she suggested. "If I _did_ beg? Or trade back the lifetime of servitude or something?"

"Tempting, but no." Unless I thought that her leaving Edward counted as 'servitude', probably not. "Then again, the begging might be interesting to see. You can give it a go if you like."

"There's really nothing, _nothing_ at all I can say?"

"Nope. Not unless you can promise me a better fight. Anyways, Sam's calling the shots, not me."

"Edward told me something the other day . . . about you."

I didn't like Edward talking about me, I can't imagine that he would have anything even remotely good to say. "It's probably a lie."

"Oh, really? You aren't second in command of the pack, then?"

I had no idea that Edward had gotten that from reading the pack thoughts, it made me wonder what other information he received. I didn't really want to talk about that I was suppose to be Alpha, but gave the responsibility to Sam. I was worried that she would think less of me, like I evaded my responsibility, but she was really persistent. She seemed understanding that I never wanted to be in the pack, and had no desire to lead it.

"Chief Jacob," she whispered and smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes, silly girl. Suddenly the wind shook violently through the trees and the heavy clouds settled over us. I picked up the pace and held her more securely to my chest as she allowed my body to shelter her from the snow that began to fall.

FACTS:

- The fight training between Jacob and Seth is to help him not completely freak out when Victoria and Riley come there. He has got to be able to remain focused on the battle HE is in and he can't do that unless he trusts Seth to keep Bella safe.

- What did Billy say to Jacob? "Libiti olli xaxiktiya, xw pa, hachli ho." All the words there are from the Quileute language, however I do not really know how sentence structure works. So basically Billy tells Jacob "strong you are today, return to me well." - Take care of your self and come back to me well.


	16. Chapter 16

Song -youtube dot com/watch?v=Eu4f6LLFBG4

**Chapter 16 – FIRE AND ICE **

It was only a few more minutes of running with Bella tucked tightly to my chest as the snow began to fall all around us, before I saw the tent just ahead on the side of the mountain. The wind shook hard not allowing the snow to settle in any particular place.

"Bella!" Edward called, he had been pacing back and forth and ran to our side. I hated being so close to him and set Bella down on her own feet. He quickly wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. "Thank you," Edward looked over her head at me. "That was quicker than I expected, and I truly appreciate it."

I just shrugged. This guy is so annoying, thanking me all the time, but I knew that it was important to remain peaceful, but there was no way I was going to be that friendly. "Get her inside. This is going to be bad – my hair's standing on my scalp. Is that tent secure?" It was a creepy feeling, I have felt the change in weather before, but never to this extent.

"I all but welded it to the rock."

"Good." I looked up at the black sky and the swirling snow. "I'm going to change," I said. "I want to know what's going on back home." I took the jacket off and hung it on a branch and then went into the trees to finish undressing. All was well at home, Sam was the only one phased he was too edgy to try and stay human. This was the first real battle that we have ever faced and he was under a lot of pressure to keep everyone safe.

The storm was worse than I have ever seen and the tent rocked violently and I wasn't able to sleep at all. It didn't help that I could hear Bella's teeth rattling inside and I could tell that she must be freezing. I didn't know what he had inside that tent, but it was irritating that they weren't more prepared. He tried to get her leave and for him to try and move the tent further down the mountain.

_You should have thought of that before you set it up at the top of the freaking mountain_.

Edward growled so low there was no way Bella could hear. "What can I do?" Edward asked, I wasn't sure if he was talking to Bella or my constant complaints out here.

I whined, wishing that there was something I could do.

"G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-here," Bella ordered again.

I rolled my eyes, I wasn't whining for me, I wasn't cold, she was the one suffering.

"He's just worried about you," Edward translated, granted an edited version of what I said, but I let it slide this time. "He's fine. His body is equipped to deal with this."

_There has to be something you can do_? I complained.

"What do you want me to do?" Edward growled, clearly done being polite. "Carry her through that? I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?"

Make _myself_ useful, _that_ I could do.

_Sam, I'm going in, send Seth to cover for me if you want someone out here._

_You're crazy, you know that right? _

_Yep._

_Alright._ Sam answered

I howled in delight as I shifted back into my human form.

"That was hardly necessary," Edward muttered. "And that's the worst idea I've ever heard."

"Better than anything you've come up with. _Go fetch a space heater_," I grumbled. "I'm not a St. Bernard."

I took the frozen jacket off the branch and grabbed the zipper of the tent and tried to fit my body through the smallest opening that I could. Edward not far from me and Bella was completely on the other side of the tent her body convulsing with shivering.

"I don't like this," Edward hissed as I closed the tent opening behind myself. "Just give her the coat and get out."

I saw Bella looking around at us and her lips moved, I wasn't sure if she was trying to talk or they were just chattering that badly. "The parka is for tomorrow – she's too cold to warm it up by herself. It's frozen." I dropped it by the door. "You said she needed a space heater, and here I am." I stretched my arms wide, touching both sides of the small tent.

"J-J-J-Jake, you'll f-f-f-freez-z-z-e," Bella complained pathetically.

"Not me," I said cheerfully. "I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have you sweating in no time."

Edward snarled, but I ignored him and crouched down next to Bella and began to unzip her sleeping bag. Suddenly he grasped on to my shoulder, his ice cold skin burned my flesh and the instinct to attack was immediate and I tensed myself to control myself.

"Get your hand off me," I growled, keeping my teeth clinched together.

"Keep your hands off of her," Edward answered blackly.

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-fight," Bella pleaded and her body continued to shake violently.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off," I snapped.

Edward thought about it for a moment and then dropped his hand from my shoulder and moved back to the other side of the tent. "Watch yourself."

I chuckled. "Scoot over, Bella," I said, zipping the sleeping bag open farther. She stared at me in shock, like she just now figured it out. How is it possible that she didn't know what Edward was protesting to?

"N-n-n-n-n," Bella tried to protest.

"Don't be stupid," I said, exasperated. "Don't you like having ten toes?"

I finished cramming my body into the bag and brought the zipper back up. It was extremely tight, however the moment my body heat reached her Bella lost what little resolve she had to try and fight it. I rolled onto my side and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her tight to my chest. It would have been fantastic feeling her body pressed to mine, but I cringed when her icy fingers grazed my skin. I would flinch, not from the cold feeling, but because she was almost as cold as Edward when he had touched me. With her cold skin, stiff muscles from not moving, and the sick smell throughout the tent, it was a vivid reminder that she would be like him soon. It made me feel sick and I hated it.

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella."

"S-s-s-s-sorry," she stuttered.

"Try to relax," her body was so tense from being so cold and another violent shiver shook her body, I wanted her to be the soft warm Bella that I loved and not this frozen rock as quickly as possible. "You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."

Edward growled.

"That's just a simple fact," I defended. "Survival one-oh-one."

"C-c-cut it out, Jake," she said angrily, but stayed glued to my chest. "N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes."

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker," I suggested smugly. "He's just jealous."

"Of course I am, you don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing for her, mongrel." His voice was controlled and the worst sound ever, I hated his voice.

I hadn't really expected him to answer honestly. "Those are the breaks," I said lightly, Bella moved brushing her cold hand against me once again reminding me again of what her future would be with him. "At least you know she wishes it was you."

"True," Edward agreed.

_Jerk. _

Bella was very slowly warming, I was surprised that it was taking this long and I would rub her back trying to help her to warm more quickly.

"There," I said, pleased. "Feeling better?"

"Yes." She said for the first time not stuttering.

Her body's shuddering stopped and I watched her starting to relax, but her face was still really cold. "Your lips are still blue," I mused. "Want me to warm those up for you too? You only have to ask."

Edward sighed heavily and I bit my cheeks to try and keep from smirking, but it didn't work.

"Behave yourself," Bella muttered and pressed her face into my shoulder. It was really cold and I flinched, but still loved having her soft lips against my skin. It didn't take much longer for Bella get warm enough to kick her boots off and pressed her icy feet against me, I have never felt a _person_ as cold as Bella was. I tried to cover her with as much of me as I could and rested my cheek against her ear.

As Bella dethawed she began to relax and I rolled over to my back and tucked her into my side and her head rested against my chest, with one arm wrapped around my waist and one of her legs over mine. I rested my arms around on her back and for a moment I thought she had fallen asleep. "Jake?" she mumbled sleepily. "Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, I'm honestly curious."

"Sure," I chuckled remembered using the same words to her.

"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

"Because my hair is longer," I said, amused and shaking my hair.

"Oh." She seemed surprised by such a simple answer. "Then why don't you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy?"

Such a simple question, with such a complicated answer. I remembered how sad it seemed to make Bella when I had cut my hair and I got the impression that she liked me better with longer hair.

Edward laughed. _Stay out of my head!_

"Sorry," Bella paused to yawn. "I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

I knew Edward heard it all. "Oh, he'll tell you anyways, so I might as well . . . I was growing my hair out because . . . it seemed like you liked it better long."

"Oh," I could feel her tense some from being awkward. "I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be . . . inconvenienced."

I shrugged. "Turns out it was very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it."

She relaxed against my shoulder and I could feel her body soften as she was getting more sleep. "That's right, honey, go to sleep," I whispered.

"Seth is here," Edward murmured to me.

"Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you."

"Stop it," Bella muttered as she settled deeper into me, she shifted to get more comfortable causing her body to rub against me as she settled back against me with one arm draped over my waist. I closed my eyes and began to imagine what it would be like to be able to hold her like this all the time and to really feel her. I ran my fingers through her hair and wondered if she had taken her clothes off earlier what it would have been like, it would have been the perfect opportunity to be able to feel her beautiful skin. I felt the soft skin on her hand and imagined the same softness as I brought my hand down her arm.

"_Please_!" Edward hissed. "Do you _mind_!"

"What?" I whispered back, surprised that he was paying attention.

"Do you think that you could _attempt_ to control your thoughts?"

"No one said you had to listen," I muttered, I had sort of forgotten he was still here. "Get out of my head."

"I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down," I whispered sarcastically, like there was really a volume control on thoughts. He is just jealous because I could actually do something with Bella without actually killing her.

"Yes, I'm jealous of that, too." He answered my unspoken comment.

"I figured it was like that," I whispered smugly. "Sort of evens the playing field up a little, doesn't it?"

Edward chuckled. "In your dreams."

_Exactly!_ "You know, she could still change her mind," I taunted. "Considering _all_ the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is."

"Go to sleep, Jacob," Edward murmured. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable." I held Bella a little tighter and thought about going to sleep, but it really bothered me that he kept poking around in my head and I couldn't get into his. There were so many things that I would love to ask if he were to give me the chance. It really wasn't fair at all, and I wondered if he would let me know his perspective.

"Maybe I would." Edward said, it was still strange him answering my unspoken thoughts.

"But would you be honest?" Cause I know I wouldn't be, if I had a choice.

"You can always ask and see." Edward taunted.

"Well, you see inside my head – let me see inside yours tonight, it's only fair," I said.

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?"

"The jealousy . . . it _has_ to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."

"Of course, it is," Edward agreed, no longer amused. "Right now it's so bad that I can barely control my voice. Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her." Well that at least explains why he is staying in the tent.

"Do you think about it all the time?" I whispered. "Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?" I know it does me.

"Yes and no," he answered honestly. "My mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that I'm _always_ able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful."

_Does she think of me very often?_

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often. More often than I like. She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you don't know that. Not that you don't _use_ that."

"I have to use whatever I can," I muttered, _and it's true, this hasn't been easy for me_. "I'm not working with your advantages – advantages like her knowing that she's in love with you."

"That helps," Edward agreed in a mild tone.

_Yeah it does!_ "She's in love with me, too, you know." Edward remained silent. I sighed. "But she _doesn't_ know it."

"I can't tell you if you're right."

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

"Yes . . . and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, I'd rather she was happy."

The wind ripped around the tent, shaking it like an earthquake and I wrapped Bella tighter to me to keep her from shaking with it. "Thank you," Edward whispered. "Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob."

_You are an odd, bloodsucker. You know that, right? _"You mean, 'as much as I'd loved to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"

"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?"

"I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am."

"I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you know."

"You have more patience than I do."

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for _her_." That _would _suck, but thats what he gets for being a bloodsucker.

"So . . . at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?" _Somehow at the same time that I became the inpatient, jerk. _

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the . . . less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure."

_Yeah, I doubt that. You have no idea how perfect she thinks you are. _"I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you."

Edward was silent for a moment. "That was a part of it," he finally admitted. "But only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I accepted that she was more or less safe with you – as safe as Bella ever is – it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

I sighed. "I'd tell her all this, but she'd never believe me."

"I know." Edward smiled, so sure of himself.

"You think you know everything," I muttered.

"I don't know the future," Edward said, and for a moment I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

I remained on my back looking up at the ceiling, even while talking to Edward I didn't really need to look at him to talk with him. Our conversation went quiet and I thought about going to sleep, but I knew that I would never have this opportunity with Edward again.

"What would you do if she changed her mind?" I asked.

"I don't know that either."

I chuckled quietly, careful to not move Bella when I laughed. "Would you try to kill me?" I added sarcastically, not really sure if he could or not.

"No."

"Why not?" It surprised me that he said so certainly that he wouldn't, like he knew that he could if he wanted, but was choosing not to.

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?"

Damn, he's good. I sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I know that's right. But sometimes . . ."

"Sometimes it's an intriguing idea."

I turned my head into the sleeping bag to muffle my laughter, and Bella's body shook against my laughter. "Exactly," I eventually agreed.

The wind continued to blow and shake the tent, I looked down at the beautiful girl sleeping in my arms and knew that I never wanted to let her go, but once day broke she would be his once again and I would be loosing her.

"What's it like? Losing her?" I asked quietly, my voice thick with emotion. "When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did you . . . cope?"

"That's very difficult for me to talk about." I waited quietly and he continued, speaking slowly. "There were two different times that I though that. The first time, when I thought I could leave her . . . that was . . . almost bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn't interfere again. It was getting close – I was fighting but I knew I wasn't going to win; I would have come back . . . just to check on her. That's what I would have told myself, anyways. And if I'd found her reasonably happy . . . I like to think that I could have gone away again."

"But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed. That's how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me . . . what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left – what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make up for that, but I'll never stop trying anyway."

I laid quietly, thinking about what Edward had shared, I thought about when Bella left me to go rescue him, it was still extremely painful, we had been getting so close before everything just blew to pieces. "And the other time – when you thought she was dead?" I whispered roughly, knowing that _my_ Bella would be dead if she went with the plan to be changed.

"Yes, it will probably feel like that to you, won't it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as _Bella_ anymore. But that's who she'll be."

I was irritated that once again he answered my head, instead of the question that I asked. "That is not what I asked."

Edward's voice came back fast and hard. "I can't tell you how it felt. There aren't words."

I flexed my arms around Bella holding her tighter to me. "But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. You _want_ her to be human."

Edward explained what he considered to be the four options of what could happen once he realized that he loved Bella. Hearing him explain himself, I was amazed by how much thought he put into what he should do in regards to Bella. His feelings for her were so clear, and I hated it. Thinking that he just wanted her for her blood was so much easier than to admit that he also only wanted what was best for Bella.

"I like option one," I muttered, where he wasn't in her life at all and she moved on with someone else. Edward remained quiet. "You know _exactly_ how much I hate to accept this," I whispered quietly, "but I can see that you do love her . . . in your way. I can't argue with that anymore. Given that, I don't think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there's a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off a cliff in March . . . and if you'd waited another six months to check on her . . . Well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan."

I imagined what it would have been like if we had cliff dived together like we were suppose to. I would hold her hand as we leaped over the edge and would hold her close as we swam to the shore. She was getting so much better that I knew it wouldn't have been much longer before we would have kissed. I remembered her smile, the way she would light up when she saw me, and the love that she had for me reflected in her eyes, the way that we would laugh together and could make a comedy out of anything, even a horror film.

Edward chuckled. "Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan."

"Yeah." I sighed. "But . . . with more time I know I could make it work, give me a year, bl – Edward. I really think I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renee, and she could grow up, and have kids and . . . be Bella." I wanted that so badly, not just for myself, but for her as well. "You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're very unselfish . . . are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?"

"I _have_ considered it," he answered quietly. "In some ways, you would be better suited for her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You _have_ done that already, and I'll owe you for that for as long as I live – forever – whichever comes first . . ." Once again I was amazed by how much thought he has put into Bella's life, there wasn't much more that he could do without knowing the future.

"I even asked Alice if she could see that – see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn't, of course. She can't see you, and then Bella's sure of her course, for now." It would have been nice if that psychic could have worked in my favor for once, but it made sense that she wouldn't know anything more.

Edward continued, "but I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I won't try to force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here."

"And if she were to decide that she wanted me?" I challenged. "Okay, it's a long shot, I'll give you that."

"I would let her go."

"Just like that?"

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, _you_ might leave _her_ someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen."

Damn imprinting, I snorted in disgust. "Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect . . . Edward." It was so weird calling him by his name. "Thanks for letting me in your head."

"As I said, I'm feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do . . . You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

"Maybe . . ." _if you weren't such a freak, I mean_ "if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love . . ." _ who am I kidding? _ "well, no, not even then."

Edward chuckled. "Can I ask you something?" he said after a moment.

"Why would you have to ask?"

"I can only hear if you think of it. It's just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a third wife . . . ?"

"What about it?" I ran through the story in my head, the fight with the Cold Ones and her great sacrifice. Edward hissed. "What?" I demanded again.

"Of course," he seethed and I couldn't understand what he was so upset about. "Of course! I rather wish your elders had kept _that_ story to themselves, Jacob."

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?" I mocked. "You know, they _are_. Then _and_ now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can you guess which character Bella would identify with?"

I thought of it a moment, the human woman that didn't have any magic except for courage and sacrificing herself. "Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

"She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it." He sighed. "That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive when she wants something."

"You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did."

"Neither side meant any harm," Edward whispered, clearly making peace on both sides.

"And when does _this_ little truce end?" I asked. "First light? Or do we wait until after the fight?" We both thought about it for a moment and knew that we wouldn't be able to last much longer.

"First light," we whispered together, and then laughed quietly.

"Sleep well, Jacob," Edward murmured. "Enjoy the moment."

_Oh, I will._ I relaxed further allowing one arm to remain on her back and the other rested on her thigh that was draped over my leg. I traced my hand down and up her leg and it felt really good and I held her tightly to me.

Edward groaned softly. "I didn't mean that quite so literally."

"Sorry," I whispered. "You could leave, you know – give us a little privacy."

"Would you like me to _help_ you sleep, Jacob?" he offered.

"You could try," I said, unconcerned. "It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?"

"Don't tempt me to far, wolf. My patience isn't _that_ perfect."

_Finally admitting a flaw, uh?_ I laughed quietly. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind."

Edward starting humming, who the hell hums? If I seriously wasn't so comfortable I would have punched him in the face.

FACTS

- The pain when Edward touches Jacob's skin is based on the concept of dry ice. If you have ever felt it it really hurts to touch and I feel the contrasting temperature between Edward and Jacob would be like that. So therefore it would also be physically painful if/when Bella becomes a vampire and so touching her would no longer be a pleasant experience.


	17. Chapter 17

Song -youtube dot com /watch?v=h45KVZ_w0oU

**Chapter 17 – DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE**

I was finally in some great sleep, I didn't need to dream for they were coming true with having Bella sleeping by my side, when suddenly I rolled over on the ground my back pressing against the cold ground. "Hey!" I yelled trying to roll away from the cold and didn't realize that Bella was there under me, until in the same moment Edward had thrown me into the other side of the tent's metal poles. How the whole tent didn't fall down around us from the impact, I have no idea. He was crouched protectively over Bella, growling furiously while every part of my body was shaking. If he was worried about me phasing and hurting her in this small tent, he should have thought of that before flinging me across it. Outside Seth growled as well, filling the entire area with snarls and loud rumbles. Damn, had I known that the awakening was going to be like this I think I would have preferred to have our truce end after the battle.

"Stop it, stop it!" Bella yelled, I saw her moving awkwardly, but my eyes were fixed on Edward, it wasn't until I felt her small hand on my chest that I realized that she had placed herself between us. "Stop it, now," she warned Edward as he put his arm around her waist to be able to pull her out of the way. The moment that Bella's hand touched me I was able to start to calm myself, keeping her safe was much more important than taking revenge on Edward's stupid reaction. "Jacob?" Bella asked, there was a long pause as I tore my hatred filled eyes away from Edward and looked at her. "Are you hurt?"

"Of course not!" I hissed. What a stupid question.

She turned to Edward. "That wasn't nice. You should say sorry."

His eyes widened in disgust. "You must be joking – he was crushing you!"

"Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn't do it on purpose, and he didn't hurt me."

Edward groaned, however slowly looked at me with hostile eyes. "My apologies, dog."

_What are we in, kindergarten? This is ridiculous._ "No harm done," I replied.

"Here," Edward picked up the parka I had brought in and wrapped it around the top of her coat.

"That's Jacob's," she objected.

"Jacob has a fur coat," Edward hinted that it was time for me to leave.

"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind." I walked around them and slipped back into the down bag. "I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had."

"It was your idea," Edward said impassively.

I curled up as I closed my eyes and yawned. "I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up." It wasn't so bad when it was my name she said, but moaning about Edward for most of the time was really annoying.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Edward murmured.

My eyes fluttered open to be able to see his face. "Didn't you have a nice night, then?" I asked, smug.

"It wasn't the worst night of my life."

"Did it make the top ten?" I guessed it probably did.

"Possibly."

I smiled, and closed my eyes again.

"But," Edward went on, "if I had been able to take your place last night it would not have made the top ten of the _best_ nights of my life. Dream about that."

I opened my eyes glaring into his smirking face. There was no way what he said was true and he was probably just taunting me, but there was really only so much that I could handle thinking about when it comes to what some of Edward's best nights could have been. "You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."

"I couldn't agree more." Edward responded. Bella elbowed him, probably bruising herself, she really does need to pick on people her own size.

"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then." So much for being all rested for the big fight, Sam was probably going to be pissed. "I need to talk to Sam anyway."

I rolled out of the sleeping bag and while on my knees began to open the tent. "Jake, wait –" she reached out to me, her hand sliding down my arm. I jerked my arm away before she could try and hold me here. "Please Jake? Won't you stay?"

"No," I said stiffly. I saw the disappointment on her face and gave her a small smile. "Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am." I forced a laugh. "Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place – have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right." I snorted.

"Be careful – "

I didn't want to hear any more about her concerns for my safety. I quickly made it through the tent muttering to myself. "Give it a rest, Bella." I sighed.

I marched into the trees and removed my shorts attaching them to my ankle before phasing into my wolf. Almost all the pack was now phased and there was a mess of chatter between everyone. I could hear Edward and Bella moving around in the tent and would catch a few things, but for the most part I was getting ready. Alice had just told Sam it would be about an hour from now and I was pumped and really eager to get started, but I decided that I would stay here a little longer, it wasn't going to take me very long to get over to the fight.

I was tired of trying to think of new ways that I get to Bella and help her to understand this terrible mistake she was getting ready to make. At one time her _change_ was going to be directly after graduation, and I knew it was this battle that was delaying it, so once it was over, it literally could be any time.

My heart sank and I didn't know what to do, frustrated and annoyed I decided to lay down next to Seth and wait, when I heard Edward say "Jacob, my Jacob". _What the hell_? Curious, I got up and moved closer to the tent. "Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot." Oh, he was telling Bella about what she said in her sleep, that made much more sense. I remembered hearing her say those words, it was absolutely the best feeling in the world, she was already so close to me, wrapped in my arms, and to hear my name come from her lips, I almost kissed her right then and there.

"Sorry," Bella murmured. "That's just the way I differentiate."

"Differentiate?" Edward asked, thankfully because I was wondering the same thing.

"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me," she explained.

I couldn't help but laugh softly, and really liked that there was any part of me that she considered to be _hers_.

"That makes sense. Tell me another favorite night." Edward said.

_Well this should be interesting_.

"Flying home from Italy." Crap, that was one of her favorites night! That is horrible, it was one of the worst several days of my life. "Is that not one of yours?" Bella asked.

"No, it is one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"

Wow, I had no idea that Bella ever had such serious doubts about Edward's devotion to her. I just wished that Bella had been right and he would have left again. I would have been here to put her back together again.

"Yes," Bella acknowledged his assumption of her feelings during that time. "But, still, you were there."

_Gag me_, that is so disgusting.

I heard Edward kiss her, I didn't know where, but I didn't hear her kiss him back so I guess it wasn't her lips. "You love me more than I deserve."

_Yeah, she totally does. _

Bella laughed. "Next would be the night after Italy," Bella continued.

"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."

"Funny?" Bella objected.

"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."

"I'm still not sure," she muttered. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?"

_I can't imagine what that could be. _

"No – that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."

Instantly I felt like I had just been kicked in the groin, I could barely breath as my stomach rolled and I knew I was going to be sick. Bella has agreed to marry him!

_You son of a . . . I hate you!_

My heart was pounding so fast that I thought it might explode all on its own. It wasn't that she was just going to run away from her family and her friends to be with him forever, but was making a public declaration of her love for him.

It was through that declaration that I really knew it was over, there wasn't anything more that could be done. My heart felt like it was starting to cave in on itself and my shoulders hunched over as if to try and protect myself, but there wasn't anything left to protect. I had given everything I had into trying to save her and it was all for nothing. Jealousy coursed through my body leaving bitterness and rage in it's wake. I had been trying to show her how much she meant to me, that there was something worth living for, but I had failed.

All I could see was Bella, with skin pale as snow and hard as a rock, with eyes red from the blood of the bodies that lay scattered around her. Her clothes were spattered and stained as well with the blood of her victims. _My_ victims, because I wasn't able to stop it. I could see my brothers start to swarm around her and it was then that I saw Edward crouched by her side sucking the throat of someone and realized that she was standing protectively guarding him, keeping him safe.

My body shook and I tried to scream and instead a loud painful howl escaped, surprising myself at the intensity of the pain and my legs propelled me through the trees faster than ever before. Most of my pack brothers hadn't been paying attention to what was going on here, however my howl immediately brought their full attention. Their bodies crouched to the ground as they could feel the same pain I felt as my whole world was being shattered into a million pieces. I continued to run until my body couldn't handle it and my legs buckled out from under me, my chest landing hard into the rough rocks and snow along the ground.

_Jake, I'm sorry._ Quil and Embry both thought.

_Pull yourself together, we don't have time for this_ Paul sneered.

As much as I wanted to be mad at him, I couldn't. I knew that it was cruel to be putting them through the same pain I was experiencing.

The pathetic sympathy from my friends was just as hard to deal with as the anger from the other pack members, so I curled my legs under me and returned to my human form. The pain human was so much worse, it became so much more personal. I was a man that was rejected and now lay broken on the forest floor. With my knees to my chest, I rocked back and forth as the tears began to fall down my cheeks. How did I let this happen?

What was I going to do when I got the call from Charlie that _something_ horrible has happened to Bella? My dad would be forced to lie through his teeth as he comforted a sobbing Charlie. Would they come up with a fake death for her? Would I have to sit through a fake funeral of my best friend and the only girl I have ever loved? Or would Charlie spend the rest of his life searching for his _lost_ baby girl?

As the tears silently continued to roll down my cheeks I heard and smelt something awful coming towards me. Anger, like I have never felt before, soared through my body I was going to kill him on the spot. If I removed him from Bella's life then there wouldn't be anyone to take hers away, she wouldn't want that existence anymore without Edward. I knew that there was a good chance that she would hate me forever, but it was worth that risk.

My body began to shake and I could feel the wolf rejoicing at finally getting his opportunity, he has been held back far too many times.

"Jacob, that is not a good idea." Edward warned.

The only thing holding me back was that I wanted the use of my own voice. "The hell it isn't." I began to stalk towards him and he continued to move in a defensive pose.

"Bella wants to talk to you." His voice was so calm, like he was speaking to a child, it made me hate him even more.

"Why? So she can pour a little more salt in my wounds."

He rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed. "She sent me to come find you."

"Trouble in paradise?" I scowled.

"Something like that, she didn't like you finding out like this. I'm sorry, but I felt you had the right to know."

"I guess that wasn't your call to make."

"Please, come talk to her. She wants the chance to make it right."

Before I could stop myself a glimmer of hope flashed through my soul. Maybe there was a reason that after all the hours we have spent together, me carrying her to the tent, or even curled up together she never once mentioned that she was engaged. I can't say that I remembered a ring, but I know I would have if it had been on her finger, and there was no way Edward wouldn't have been able to afford to give her a ring. Why would she keep it from me? Maybe she wasn't as sure as the engagement implied.

Edward stood back silently letting me process, letting me believe any crazy notion as long as it brought me back.

"You really are an ass, you know that right." I said bluntly.

"It is not about me, it's about Bella." He tried to defend.

"You don't think I know that! Everything I do is about her!" I screamed, my body shaking violently from the wolf begging to be set free.

"I know that."

"Agh," I growled. "Let's get this over with."

I ran with Edward back towards the tent. I knew that it was possible that I might be making a huge mistake giving Bella another chance to throw darts into my severely punctured heart, but I also knew that I would never forgive myself if there had been something, anything, I could have done and didn't do. I had a new open door, anything goes, policy and I knew that I would do anything for her.

We were getting close to the tent when Edward stopped.

"What?" I asked harshly.

"I really think you should put on some pants before talking to her."

I looked and for the first time realized that I was naked. "Why didn't you say something before?"

"Why would I need to tell you that you're naked? You should know that on your own."

I rolled my eyes and unlatched my shorts from my ankle and slipped them on. "Happy now?"

"Thank you."

"Seriously, stop _that_." Instantly the thought of trying to kill him went through my mind, it was only for a moment and I didn't even have time to see his pretty face catch fire before I saw him watching me closely ruining the beautiful image I had created in my mind.

We took a few more steps and I could hear Seth growling. "It's just us, Seth" I was right behind Edward as he walked out from the trees the sunlight reflected off his skin blinding my eyes for a moment. Damn, sparkles. I could see Bella's silhouette, the way her arms were crossed over herself reflecting her concern and I could see the path she made in the dirt where she had walked back and forth. I could tell that she had been worried about me and I wanted to have hope, but I couldn't afford it. Instead I turned back around and faced the trees that we had just walked from, she would know where to find me when she was ready to talk. I could hear Edward telling her about some kind of complication that he was going to work out with Seth and I knew that I really needed to get going.

"I'm in a hurry, Bella," I said in a dull voice. "Why don't you get it over with? I turned and looked at her and I could see her swallow and open her mouth to speak, but nothing came. "Just say the words, and be done with it."

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I'm such a rotten person," she whispered. "I'm sorry I've been so selfish. I wish I'd never met you, so I couldn't hurt you the way I have. I won't do it anymore, I promise. I'll stay far away from you. I'll move out of the state. You won't have to look at me ever again."

"That's not much of an apology," I said bitterly. In fact it was the worst apology I have ever heard, everything about it was the opposite of what I would have wanted.

"Tell me how to do it right." Bella whispered.

"What if I don't want you to go away? What if I'd rather you stayed, selfish or not? Don't I get any say, if you're trying to make things up to me?"

"That won't help anything, Jake. It was wrong to stay with you when we wanted such different things. It's not going to get better. I'll just keep hurting you. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate it."

Her voice broke preventing her from saying more and I sighed. "Stop. You don't have to say anything else. I understand."

I hated that she brought me back just to confirm my greatest fear, she was really going to let me go or in this case push me away. I hated that I had been optimistic even for a second and the crazy hold that she still had over me. I wanted to be done with this, to not have to think of her anymore, but here she was and I could see that she was hurting just like I was. Could I be the better person and walk away? To give her the space that she was asking for.

The problem is that I did walk way, just now and she brought me back once again. There had to be a reason. She wouldn't bring me back just to punish me further, I knew her better than that. We both stood still silent for a moment and I could hear her heart ramming in her chest, I remember when that sound used to be the best thing I have ever heard, but now standing before me it was a count down, a ticking time bomb, and she would be dead.

What if that is what she needs? To be thinking that it is not just her heart beats that are numbers, but mine as well. What if I could make her believe that I would try and hurt myself? There wasn't any way that Bella would believe that I would try to kill myself, she knew me too well. Unless she was just too stressed to think clearly, any other day I knew that she would call me on it instantly, but today was different. There were circumstances that would never be presented again. It felt drastic, crazy, and most of all desperate, but I didn't have anything else to go with. She needed to feel the fear I have been feeling all these weeks, scared that she would loose me and never get me back, that I would take my own life.

I snapped my head up and looked her in the eyes. "Well, you're not the only one capable of self-sacrifice." I made my voice stronger, filled with conviction. "Two can play at that game."

"What?"

"I've behaved pretty badly myself. I've made this much harder for you than I needed to. I could have given up with good grace in the beginning. But I hurt you, too."

"This is my fault."

"I won't let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory either. I know how to redeem myself."

"What are you talking about?"

Her ignorance was making this even harder, it would have been easier if she would have just drawn the wrong conclusion on her own. So that I didn't have to completely lie to her, but I was out of time to be subtle.

"There's a pretty serious fight brewing down there. I don't think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture."

My stomach was in knots as I watched her face process what I had just said. I absolutely hated that I was lying to her, but I couldn't let her see that, she couldn't know that it was pure manipulation. Then again, was it really any worse than the multiple lies Edward has told her, manipulating her when he told her he didn't love her, how she almost lost her mind when he left her, and offering her soul in order to keep him.

"Oh, no, Jake! No, no no no," she choked out in horror. "No, Jake, no. Please, no."

I saw her body shake in emotion, it was working, but now it was time to really nail it. If she would believe that I was going to die, then maybe it would finally allow her to realize that she did love me. She might realize the human life that she would be giving up is worth living. She just needs to see the big picture, that there is more than the death she is choosing for herself.

"What's the difference, Bella? This will only make it more convenient for everyone. You won't even have to move."

"No!" She almost screamed. "No, Jacob! I won't let you!"

"How will you stop me?" I taunted, praying she wouldn't call my bluff.

"Jacob, I'm begging you. Stay with me."

"For fifteen minutes while I miss a good brawl? So that you can run away from me as soon as you think I'm safe again? You've got to be kidding."

"I won't run away. I've changed my mind. We'll work something out, Jacob. There's always a compromise. Don't go!"

My heart was ramming so hard in my chest, how I had dreamed of hearing those words from her. I wanted to believe them so badly, but I couldn't. "You're lying." I challenged.

"I'm not. You know what a terrible liar I am. Look in my eyes. I'll stay if you do."

Did she have any idea what she was promising me right now? That she would give up _him_ in order to stay with me, forever. I couldn't allow myself to feel the hope or relief quite yet, she needed to confirm that it was over with him. "And I can be _your _best man at the wedding?"

I really am a glutton for punishment, I could see the conflict on her face. "Please."

"That's what I thought." Even though I knew it, I hated the confirmation that she gave. I knew that I could still walk away with a little dignity, but what was the point. I didn't need my pride or my self worth if I didn't have Bella. I was willing to live in the hole that I have dug for myself, I just wasn't ready to admit defeat.

"I love you, Bella," I murmured.

"I love you, Jacob," she whispered brokenly.

I smiled. "I know that better than you do." I was an emotional mess and I needed to leave before I did something that I would regret, like kissing her again. Would it be so horrible, if I pressed my lips to hers one more time before leaving? She clearly doesn't care about what I want, why should I care if she doesn't want it?

"Anything," she called after me. "Anything you want, Jacob. Just don't do this!"

I paused, turning back slowly to her. "I don't really think you mean that."

"Stay," she begged.

I shook my head, she still wasn't getting it. It was frustrating that every time I turn to leave she kept calling me back, throwing me a pathetic bone to chew on. I looked in her eyes and nothing had changed, even with the threat to my life. "No, I'm going." I paused, for a moment. I wanted to kiss her so badly I could hardly breathe. I knew it would be so much better if it were mutual, to really feel her lips move against mine. Maybe I could get her to ask me instead.

"But I could leave it to fate." I insisted.

"What do you mean?" She choked out.

"I don't have to do anything deliberate – I could just do my best for my pack and let what happens happen." I shrugged. "_If_ you could convince me you really did want me to come back – more than you wanted to do the selfless thing."

"How?" She asked.

"You could ask me," I suggested.

"Come back," she whispered.

I shook my head, smiling again. "That's not what I'm talking about." I knew that this was never going to work, I should just reach out, kiss her, and leave. She's engaged for crying out loud, that should be enough evidence that it just isn't going to happen, unless I make it happen. She already said that I could have anything I wanted, did that count as permission? Was it worth risking our friendship for a kiss? She forgave me last time and I knew she would forgive me this time too, but I also remembered how angry she had been at me and I wasn't sure that I could handle that again. Before my mind was made up I heard the words I never thought I would ever hear.

"Will you kiss me, Jacob?"

I don't think I would have been more surprised if she has punched me again. Once again my hope soared before landing back on suspicion. "You're bluffing." This was her moment to take the words back if she didn't mean them.

"Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back."

I hesitated for a moment making sure that what I thought I heard was real. Bella had just asked me to kiss her. What if this was some sort of test that if I took her up on it, I would some how fail? There had to be some obvious red flag that I was missing.

I rocked back on my heals, and then I couldn't figure out what the hell I was waiting for. In three long strides I was standing before her, her eyes were closed and her arms were at her side with her finger curled into fists. I could tell my her stance that she didn't really want this any more than the last time, she wasn't any closer to realizing her feelings for me. What possible good could come from this?

I didn't know, but I was determined to find out. My hands reached for her face as my lips slammed into hers. There was no doubt that Bella wasn't fighting me this time, but she wasn't really encouraging it either. As my mouth continued to move over her lips one hand wrapped around to the back of her head and my fingers twisted around the strands of her silky smooth hair. The other hand grabbed onto her shoulder bringing her body closer to mine, and I then brought her hand up to rest behind my head. Though my lips continued to move against hers there still didn't seem to be any pressure behind her lips so I knew that she wasn't really kissing me.

My hand ghosted down her arm landing around her waist, my fingers grazed the soft skin on the small of her back and instantly I crushed her body into my own, it bowed and I could feel her chest pressed into mine. My mind went completely blank for a moment as my mouth left hers and began to explore her jaw line and the length of her neck. My hand left her hair in search of her other hand and encased it also around my neck. Both of my hands found her waist again and my mouth kissed over to her ear. How she was still able to resist, I had no idea.

If she thought that her standing there while I kissed all over her counted as being "motivation" that would make me want to come back she was severely mistaken. I wasn't just looking for a big kiss that the heroine gives the hero before he goes off to war, I was looking for a promise to have someone to return home to. This was like kissing a statue with no feelings of their own, it was almost as insulting as being punched in the face. I have gone too far to let this end now. The hole I have dug for myself was too deep to be able to crawl back out of, instead I just kept digging.

Once my lips found her ear I softly whispered. "You can do better than this, Bella. You're over thinking it." I brought my teeth around her earlobe and felt her shiver. "That's right," I murmured. "For once, just let yourself feel what you feel."

Finally a response, I could tell that it was her body that responded and not her head, and knew it was her brain that I needed to get to. She tried to shake her head and I brought my hand back up into her hair making her be still. I have never met anyone more stubborn in my life. She started this, and there was no way it was going to be over now. Maybe she needed a reminder of what started this to begin with and I let the frustration sink into my voice as I spoke. "Are you sure you want me to come back? Or did you really want me to die?"

Her fingers dug deep into my scalp and I could feel her tugging on my hair. Holy crap, that was the sexiest thing ever. This was it! I always knew that Bella was a little strange, but who would have thought _that _is what she needed this whole time to move things in my direction. I heard myself gasp before my lips landed back on hers and my hands plunged under the back of her shirt onto her soft skin. Suddenly there was pressure behind Bella's mouth and I could really feel her moving against my lips. Our kisses were frantic rapid smacking open and wet. My tongue plunged into her mouth and she danced hers with mine as they fought against one another in pleasure. Her hands remained fisted in my hair actually pulling our bodies closer together and my hands began to touch as much of her as I could.

Our mouths and tongues moved and fought against one another until she wrapped her lips around mine and sucked my tongue further into her mouth. I gasped and we both moaned as my hands continued to roam over her body exploring new places and my mind lost all ability to think or reason, I was completely caught up in the moment. I have been wanting to touch and kiss her for almost a year now and I was going to enjoy every second of it. Every bit of doubt, pain, heartache, sadness, and anger was worth it for this moment. I was happier than I have ever been in my whole life, it has been so long since I wasn't frustrated or irritated about anything, it was pure joy.

Her lips were always so cold compared to my own and so incredibly soft and smooth that once I started I didn't want to do anything but continue to kiss her, she kissed me back with more passion than I have ever felt before. Her hands came down my neck and rubbed my shoulders and I rubbed her in the same rhythm that she rubbed me.

There is no way that Bella can kiss like this and not know her feelings for me. Kissing her was seriously the best feeling in the world and my hope that she would finally realize it herself was higher than ever before. This is what I have been hoping and praying for, not for the kiss – well maybe that too – but even more than that to feel like we were one, that we belonged together forever. If I was right this was the start of many, many more kisses and as much as I didn't want to stop, my brain began to come out of its lust filled cloud to remember that bigger things were happening all around us.

There was an army of vampires that were after my girl and they were going to have to go through me. I was ready to face them head on, with strength and courage, knowing that I would have warm arms and a small mouth to welcome me home.

I slowed my mouth and Bella continued like she didn't notice at all until my own were completely still next to her frantic movements. Her face was so beautiful and her lips were red and swollen from our kisses, and I saw her chocolate brown eyes look into my own and I could have melted right there on the spot.

"I have to leave," I whispered.

"No."

I smiled, pleased by her response. "I won't be long," I promised. "But one thing first . . ." I leaned my face in to press my lips to hers. I wouldn't trade our heated passion for anything, but I also wanted the sweet tender moments that makes love shine through, rather than just lust. I gently cupped her cheeks with my hands and lightly pressed my lips to hers. Then my arms wrapped around her hugging the person who means everything to me. "That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never." I took a deep breath and kissed the top of her head before taking off into the trees to join the battle.

FACTS:

- This was a really difficult chapter for me because I really don't like that Jacob threatens his life, and it has always bothered me that he actually got when he wanted out of it (that Bella realizes that she DOES love him). However writing this has given me a new perspective on it, and I hope it has for you as well.

- Jacob and Bella's kiss, though the book does not explicitly say that there is tongue I believe that is the biggest difference in what they can do that really isn't an option for Edward and Bella. Though I think it is great that Bella sees her life with Jacob flash before her eyes, but truthfully it was really rather wimpy of SM to not really be more descriptive of what they are doing while kissing. So I tried to fill in some of those gaps. If you maybe think it wasn't as heated as I described, let me remind you that Jacob actually stops kissing before Bella does, and believe me Jacob would make sure he had him some GOOD kissing in before he would even dream of stopping.

- Few quotes from SM – Character's biggest mistakes

* "_Bella's is a lack of self-knowledge; she never would have pursued her friendship with Jacob if she had realized how much more than friendship it really was. You don't give up your friends when you fall in love; however, you do give up your other romantic interests. If Bella had understood herself better, she could have saved everyone a lot of heartbreak. Sometimes that happens when you try to do the right thing."_

_* "__Jacob doesn't have a tragic flaw. He has one goal and one hope. His goal is to save Bella's life. His hope is that he'll win her heart in the process. He fails at both. But that doesn't mean he regrets trying. If he could do it over again, he'd do the same thing. Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best effort—he knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try. Does he do everything right? Heck, no! But he's sixteen and he's making it up as he goes along. Those who are upset by some of his tactics should consider his youth and the fact that he is, after all, right. Bella is in love with him. (In the end, it's truly healthier for her to be aware of this as she goes forward with unalterable decisions.)"_

- **Bella does love Jacob romantically.** For those who still feel that it is a family or friendship love that is simply not true. Yes you can (and should) love your family and your friends, but you do not fall IN love with them. That phrase is used exclusively for romantic love.

* SM Quote - _"__Bella does not fall in love with Jacob in Eclipse. Bella falls in love with Jacob in New Moon. I think it's easy to understand why this fact doesn't occur to her. Bella has only fallen in love one time, and it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing (see: Twilight). Can you blame her for not recognizing a much more subtle kind of falling-in-love?"_


	18. Chapter 18

Song Song – you tube dot com /watch?v=-ZJnCTnvzd0

**Chapter 19 – BROKEN HERO**

I ran off into the trees feeling better than I have ever felt in my entire life, right before phasing I yelled back to where I had left Bella, "I'll be right back," and then phased into my wolf. My mind was consumed with the thought of Bella, Bella, Bella, and the moment I phased everyone saw everything. They saw my desperation and how I thought I was going to just have to kiss her and leave, they saw my trickery and how I threatened my own life, and most of all they saw Bella wrapped in my arms our bodies crushed together with our lips pressed together.

_All right Jake_! There was a collective cheer from the group and I could feel their shock and excitement, but it wasn't even close to my own level of excitement. There wasn't anything that could possibly get me down now, until for a moment I saw the mind of Seth. He was crouched down on the ground clearly not wanting to see the public display of affection and even more so to be sharing that with Edward who was now inside the tent with Bella. Instantly I was worried about what his reaction might be. I couldn't see him physically hurting her, he was to prime and proper to ever consider hitting a girl. I wondered if he would throw her out, technically she was his fiancée and kissing me would easily be considered cheating. I couldn't help, but smile thinking that if he were to throw her out that it would be my arms that welcomed her home.

There could be a fantastic repeat of the kisses we shared now and I would explore her more fully. Maybe we would be alone at my house and I could take her to my room and be able to ravish her, see her completely naked, and we would make love to each other. I was so lost in my own lust filled haze that I didn't even notice that some of the pack members weren't appreciating the vivid mental images that I was sending, until Sam broke in and made me concentrate on the battle we would be quickly facing.

I made my mind focus on where I was going and to make my legs push further into the soil than ever before, to propel my body faster. There was an intensity that swarmed through us all as Alice confirmed that there would only be a few more minutes left until the battle began, she had just watched them find Bella's trail and have now divided into two separate groups. Now we were on our own, Alice could no longer see anything from our group.

There were six large wolves waiting, we could hear the thrashing of unorganized running as they pushed and fought against one another, it seemed that it was a race for them to get to the prize. _My Bella_. Sam and Jared were in the front, relying on Jared's excellent sight to give us an early warning of their approach. Sam lead the others around to form an ambush, behind Sam was Embry and then Quil and behind Jared was Paul and then Leah in a V shape.

We could hear the battle begin for the Cullens before it started for us and we watched and waited, Emmett caught the first one that entered the clearing and screamed with delight as he tore the limbs off and then smashed his fist into the face of the newborn causing it to splinter and crack down the middle.

Paul was salivating with excitement waiting for his turn to pummel the leeches. Our part was getting closer and we could hear them chattering and murmuring in their excitement. I heard some of them mention Bella, it was clear they felt that they were on the right path to be able to take her out. A low growl built in my chest as my legs lunged me further not wanting to be left behind, and also to be able to support my pack family. Suddenly one of the newborns seemed to notice our scent and got ready to warn the others of the strange bitter smell, when Leah sprinted from the end and quickly knocked him to the ground and instantly Sam was by her side helping to dismember the many pieces.

Just ahead I saw Paul crouched over one and I lunged taking off his head, shoulder and arm in one quick, huge bite. The element of surprise was over, but we still had shock on our side, they had no idea what we were, or what we were capable of. There were eight of them left and they formed somewhat of a circle so that their backs were to each other. Leah got ready to lunge again, but Sam commanded her back and she reluctantly followed his lead as we began to push them back towards the clearing.

Quil and Embry cornered a scrawny girl, she hissed and snarled at them. Embry taunted her getting a little closer and easily getting out of the way when she lunged at him and Quil slammed his paws into her back flattening her to the ground as Embry tore both legs from her body. Jared reached around and tore her head from her body, right as her hand gripped tightly around Quil's back leg flipping him over before she went still.

Suddenly I felt my stomach drop as Seth saw Edward burst through the tent carrying Bella with him._What the hell was he doing with her_? Edward and Seth looked right at each other and Seth bolted into the trees.

_SETH!_ I screamed. _What the hell are you doing?_

_Jake, Edward and I have this worked out._

_Dammit! What does that mean?_

_Alice was getting flashes of Victoria coming so we worked out a plan while you were making out with Bella._

_I remembered the complication that they spoke of, but still didn't feel any better. You should have told me, Seth._

_You were busy._

I rolled my eyes and could feel a growl rumbling, but quickly realized that it wasn't me growling. Just in front of me Leah let out a horrible howl, and darted into the trees towards her brother.

_Leah, stay._ Sam commanded, and his authority shook through her body as her legs stiffened under her and her chest planted roughly in the ground.

_Let me go!_ She screamed through an ocean of profanity.

_No, our responsibility is here. You and Jake both worked with Seth, he is ready._

_You don't know that, Sam._ I challenged.

_We don't have time for doubts._

As if for confirmation one of the newborns jumped on Jared's back and he howled in fear that she was going to bite him. Sam, Leah, and I all lunged towards Jared and instantly the leech was torn to shreds. Leah was able to fully function, unless she thought about running to Seth, then instantly her legs stiffened again. That would piss her off even more and she started taking bits and pieces of any bloodsucker she could get a hold of. With each attack she imagined herself getting stronger and stronger like she could take on anything.

As the battle swarmed all around us I kept seeing flashes from Seth of the red eyed blonde male. Seth smashing the leeches hand between his teeth, I cringed when he got hit hard in the chest, and worried as Edward and Victoria danced impossibly fast. Leah and I both screamed as the newborn looked over at Bella before crouching in closer to Seth. We knew that Seth was faking his injury, but seeing him lying on the floor like he was giving up was almost more than Leah could handle. Suddenly Seth lunged and Edward tore the arm from the newborn and threw it at the bright red hair that I was so desperate to see being taken down. I was honestly so jealous that Seth was there and I could have been had I only listened to Bella and stayed. My blood boiled with hatred for the red head and I took it out on the leeches that I had before me.

It wasn't until I saw her headless body, and Seth and Edward's acknowledgement that it was over on their side, that I was able to bring my mind to fully focus on my own battle. Trying to pay attention to what was going on there and making sure I didn't get myself killed here was mentally draining. I could feel that Leah felt the same way and we both took a deep sigh of relief as the last of the screams came from the leeches, as they were being torn to pieces by my brothers all around us.

Soon the silence was replaced by howls of joy and everyone was so excited. Sam made sure to give Seth lots of praise on his end for staying focused and playing it smart over there. Seth absolutely beamed as he picked up pieces and started chunking them into the fire.

Sam phased out and grabbed a lighter from his pants that had been rolled at his ankle and started several fires, there were too many pieces for one fire. The vampire pieces were extremely flammable due to the venom that ran through their bodies. We picked up the pieces with our mouth and tossed them in the fire, being very careful any time we found a head making sure that none of the venom in their mouth would come near us. None of the venom tasted good when we would bite into them, but the only venom that would kill us would be from their mouth, the venom in other parts of their body are non-poisonous venom.

Most of the pack was so excited and had really enjoyed the action of tearing them apart, except for Leah something was not quite right with her.

_Leah, are you alright?_ I asked cautiously.

_Of course! What's wrong with you? Stay the hell out of my head._

_Alright, sorry._

I did the best I could to stay out, but before I could distract myself I could feel her hatred for Sam, she was beyond pissed that he had ordered her away from Seth. The battle had provided her the release to be able to vent her frustration, but now it was over, and she was no where close to being ready to let things go. If something had happened to Seth she would have never forgiven Sam, and even now that the battle was over she still felt like Sam had no right to gamble with her brother's life like that.

Sam phased back in and was getting ready to meet back with the Cullens. Leah immediately changed her thoughts and I watched her closely out of the corner of my eye trying not to draw more attention to her. I saw her begin to sniff, the air was beginning to smell pretty horrible with the burnt leeches permeating the air, but it began to look like she was searching.

I thought maybe she smelled a piece that we missed when suddenly she growled furiously and at the same time a leech sprung through the air towards her. Leah rolled to the ground and the bloodsucker was right with her as they both rolled one on top and then the other.

_Jake, let me have this._

_Leah, that is just stupid._

I slammed into Leah knocking her out of the way and continued towards the leech. The bloodsucker looked right at me and sneered as he braced for my impact and my right arm splintered as it slammed into his rock solid body and he pushed me to the ground. I could feel several ribs crack as the force of my own weight slammed them into the ground. I was barely able to roll off of my injured side, with a wicked smiled he leaned over my body wrapping his strong arms around my right leg and injured arm and tried to twist them in half like a pretzel. I could feel the bones dislodge from their sockets and break in half, and he pressed them into my ribs breaking them further. Pain soared through my body like never before, my stomach rolled and I almost passed out as I screamed and howled.

It was a second later that I heard the leech's screams as it was his turn to be broken in two. My own screams alerted the Cullens and I could feel painfully cold hands touching my broken body.

"Sam, you need to get him out of here. The Volturi are coming and they will not honor our truce."

"What do we do?" Sam asked, surprising me to hear his human voice.

"Take him home, if you will allow I will come there as quickly as I can."

"Okay." Sam agreed.

"One more thing, I need you to try and get him to change back. I have never been to veterinary school before, in order to set the bones properly he needs to be human."

Slowly I felt the voices and concerns of my brothers leaving as they shifted into their human forms. Having their anxiety lifted was such a relief, however there was one voice who remained and she was so pissed off right now that there wasn't a chance at all that she would be able to phase back. At this point I didn't care what Leah did or didn't do. As I felt the hands of my brothers lifting me, and the jostling pain as they carried me as quickly as they could, I continued to whine and curse in pain.

We were getting closer to my house when my bones started trying to put themselves back together and I could feel the broken nerves being brought back to life as new pain emerged. In the trees outside my house they laid me down in the grass and Sam knelt down at my head. "Jake, I need you to phase back." He pleaded.

I shook my head and continued to moan.

Embry knelt down and touched my face. "Come on, man. Show us your mad phasing skills."

The pain was so intense that my eyes had rolled back into my head and I couldn't open them. I knew that they were right, so I took a deep breath and began to shift back into my human form. I hadn't really thought about what the muscles and bones in my body went through during the phasing process, but I whaled as my tortured howls turned into violent screams as the bones on my right side tried to shift into their human form, but failed to a line properly and instead brutally rubbed together. I couldn't help the utter profanity leaving my lips as I cursed anything and everything I could possible think of.

Once again my brothers lifted, my now naked form, from the ground and carried me inside the house. I could hear them speaking, but I couldn't really comprehend anything outside of the cursing, moaning and cries coming from me. I barely registered that Charlie was in the room and felt embarrassed that he had heard my vulgar tongue.

"Bet you're glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?" I teased.

They laid me on my bed and I could feel someone wiping my skin with some cloth, I assume to get the dirt and leaves off me. My body was sweating terribly trying to fight the pain as my broken bones continue to try to put themselves back together again.

I didn't have any idea how long I had been laying there, it could have been minutes or days I had lost all sense of time, but I began to feel the burning cold hands on my skin and the repulsive scent of leech.

"Get your damn hands off me!" I yelled.

"Calm down, Jake." Sam said, softly.

"Jacob, I'm sorry I know it's cold but I have to be able to feel how the bones have healed." Carlisle reasoned.

"How is he?" Said the last voice I would ever expect to be in MY house. My eyes popped open and I looked into the face of Edward Cullen.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" I asked indignant.

"Bella needs to know how you are." He said. The really weird part is that he actually seemed genuinely concerned about me. _You seriously just keep getting weirder, and weirder._

"Yeah, I know." He smiled, and I rolled my eyes.

Carlisle continued to poke his cold hands into my skin. "I'm sorry Jacob, but your bones have started healing before they were set correctly."

"So now what?" I asked bitterly.

"I need to rebreak them or you will never be able to use your arm or leg properly."

"Is there anything we can do?" Sam asked.

"Edward, go to the car and get the morphine." Carlisle commanded and Edward immediately left. "And we will want something in his mouth so he doesn't grind his teeth together."

Sam got up and started looking around, until he found a leather belt in my closet and came over and sat on the floor beside my head. "I am so sorry, Jake."

"This wasn't your fault."

Edward came back and handed a bag to Carlisle and then stood at the end of the bed.

"Get out of here!" I screamed.

And then I saw my dad sitting right behind him and he started to back out. "Dad!" I yelled.

"Yes, Jake." He rolled back and the others gave him space to come next to my bed. He reached out and grabbed my hand. "Be strong, Son."

There was so much that I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't speak. The tears gathered in my eyes and slipped down my cheeks. My dad wiped them away and kissed my forehead.

"Billy, it is your choice, but I do not think you will want to be in here for this." Carlisle warned.

Dad and I both looked at each other directly in the eyes. "Go," I told him, "and don't listen."

His lips quivered as he took a deep breath, and nodded his head.

"I'll have Quil and Embry take him to the beach, this won't be easy for them either." Sam informed as he followed my dad out of the room.

Carlisle came back to my side. "I have got some morphine, but I don't know how much to give you with your extra body heat." He took my arm and I felt the needle prick the skin as the drug mixed with my blood, honestly there wasn't much of a difference maybe a slight numbing and my brain began to feel fuzzy. "Once Sam gets back, I will start with your leg and then work up to your arm. You can scream and yell all you want, just try and not hit anything so that it doesn't break again."

I saw Sam walk in "Let's get this over with." I declared.

Sam handed the belt to my good hand so that I could bite it when I wasn't screaming and rested both hands on my good shoulder. Edward and Carlisle were both at my legs, and Paul and Jared also came in and I felt one of them grab onto my good foot and calf and the other at my good hip and thigh. I felt Carlisle's hand move up and down my leg and then he counted backwards from three . . . two . . . one, and the torture began.

There was more pain than I could possibly imagine as Carlisle moved up my body, he tried to give me more morphine, but it wasn't helping. I would completely pass out from the pain, but then wake up to another round of torture. I screamed until I was hoarse and couldn't scream any longer and I ripped the belt in two clinching my teeth around it. I was close to passing out again several times and by the time the last bone was set I was so drugged up that I couldn't see straight. It didn't help that sweat and tears covered my whole body. I heard mumbled words as my mind lost thought as I finally passed completely out, not really sure if it was from the pain or the drugs.

I woke up very loopy and I couldn't feel anything at all. There were strange braces all over the right side of my body. I slowly turned my head, I could feel the roughness in my throat and it was dry and parched.

"Water." I croaked out, and I heard someone walk out and Dad's chair roll towards the bed.

"How do you feel, Jake?" Dad asked.

I moved my lips to speak, but my throat wouldn't allow it. As I opened my eyes I saw Sam walk back in with a glass in his hand. I turned my head and Sam brought the straw to my lips, I sucked lightly as the cold liquid slid down my parched throat and then drained the glass.

"Bella." I whispered.

"She was here for a moment, but she had to go pretend to get back from a shopping trip as her cover for the battle," Dad explained. "Try to rest, she promised to be back as soon as she could."

My body relaxed knowing that Bella was coming back, I knew that we still had some serious things to talk about, but I was thankful that she would be coming, soon.

**FACTS:**

- Though I think the battle in the movie was fantastic, and while I LOVE that the Cullens and wolves were seen actually working together in the battle. Unfortunately, I do not believe that is how it was in the book. It is pretty clear that the Cullens had "their side" and the wolves had "their side" during the battle.

- Victoria's "last minute decision" I really, really have a hard time believing that Victoria would have that much self control and not at least THINK of coming after Bella herself. So while the "complication" that Edward and Seth discuss was certainly about the Volturi, I think it was also about Victoria. The conversation about the Volturi would take all of a couple seconds "Seth, get you butt home" and not near long enough for all the time it took for Jacob and Bella to have their moment. So I believe that it would have made sense for Edward and Seth to also work out some kind of plan in case Victoria were to find them. I also feel that Seth and Edward seem too organized for them to just be winging it.

- There ARE two types of venom, poisonous and non-poisonous. The venom that is in their sockets that serves as a lubricant so that they can move their arms, legs, blink their eyes, etc., is non-poisonous. Of course their mouthes are very poisonous, and werewolves would not be "changed", they would die if bitten.

- Jacob's rebreaking, there was one part of the book that says that he was out cold for it, however Charlie seems to describe him being awake when Carlisle and Edward are there. So I combined the two and had him pass out for part of it and be awake and screaming for part of it.


	19. Chapter 19

Song

(technically would go with the previous chapter, but I forgot to post it)

youtube dot com /watch?v=mryBYR0S48g

This chapter SONG (highly recommended watching video)

youtube dot com **/watch?v=201Cfok9Wz4**

**Chapter 19 – GOODBYE **

It was a long, hazy, drug induced afternoon where Carlisle kept poking me with his cold hands and then drugging me some more saying that I shouldn't be able to feel his hands at all. The braces were annoying and I hated not being able to move so finally he agreed to just wrap my arm securely to my chest and my leg as well so that it would stay straight. The doctor in him was really excited and if he said the word 'fascinating' one more time, I swear I was going to punch him.

Finally he determined that there was nothing more he could do so after drugging me again he left. Every part of my body just felt heavy and numb, but the most was my head. I wish that there was something that he could have given me for the anxiety, every minute that went by that Bella wasn't here I grew more and more concerned.

Dad told me probably a million times that she would be back, however there was a look in his eyes when he said it, that I didn't like. It was like he was worried that her coming here would be the final straw that would shatter my already broken self.

I heard the roar of Bella's truck and looked over at Dad who had been sitting in my room, he rolled over to my bed and lifted an old quilt and covered my naked body. There was a light knock and my dad rolled out to go answer the door. I could hear them talking to each other, and I tried to judge what this would mean for me. I felt that the fact she didn't just burst through and instantly want to be by my side, as really not a good sign.

I heard her stand for a moment outside my door and then slowly turn the knob and the door quietly opened. This was not the entrance of a girl that had good news to give, we looked into each others eyes and I could see her concern, her pain, her love, and her guilt.

She walked in and shut the door behind her. "Hi, Jake," she murmured.

I couldn't speak as I continued to watch her face. Bella didn't have to say anything, I knew. I knew that she wasn't going to be staying. I knew that despite having her love, I wouldn't have her heart. I knew that there was nothing more for me to do. So I decided to let go, and try and make this as easy on her as possible.

I smiled, I knew she would never believe a real smile, but a mocking smile seemed to fit perfectly. "Yeah, I sort of thought it might be like that." I sighed. "Today has definitely taken a turn for the worse. First I pick the wrong place, miss the best fight, and Seth gets all the glory. Then Leah has to be an idiot trying to prove she's as tough as the rest of us and I have to be the idiot who saves her. And now this." I waved my left hand towards her, she was still standing by the door as far as possible.

"How are you feeling?" She mumbled.

"A little stoned. Dr. Fang isn't sure how much pain medication I need, so he's going with trial and error. Think he overdid it."

"But you're not in pain."

"No. At least, I can't feel my injuries," I said, smiling mockingly again, as if my bones were the only thing that was hurting. Bella bit down on her lip, clearly she understood that _she_ was capable of hurting me far worse and for much longer, than it would take for a bunch of bones to heal back together. I felt bad for putting that kind of pressure on her, and wondered if Edward had done that as well. "How about you? Are you okay?"

"Me?" She stared at me confused. "Why?"

"Well, I mean, I was pretty sure that he wouldn't actually _hurt_ you, but I wasn't sure how bad it was going to be. I've been going a little crazy with worry about you ever since I woke up. I didn't know if you were going to be allowed to visit or anything. The suspense was terrible. How did it go? Was he mean to you? I'm sorry if it was bad. I didn't mean for you to have to go through that alone. I was thinking I'd be there . . ."

"No, no, Jake! I'm fine. Too fine, really. Of course he wasn't mean. I wish!"

I couldn't believe it. "What?"

"He wasn't even mad at me – he wasn't even mad at you! He's so unselfish it makes me feel even worse. I wish he would have yelled at me or something. It's not like I don't deserve . . . well, much worse than getting yelled at. But he doesn't care. He just wants me to be happy."

"He wasn't mad?" I asked, incredulous.

"No. He was . . . much too kind."

I stared at her face seeing if she was holding back or maybe lying for him, but I could see that she wasn't lying. "Well, damn!" I growled.

"What's wrong, Jake! Does it hurt?" Her eyes darted around like she was looking for something.

"No," I grumbled, when is she going to get that my reaction has nothing to do with my physical injuries, but rather my heart. "I can't believe this! He didn't give you an ultimatum or anything?"

"Not even close – what's wrong with you?"

I scowled and shook my head. "I was sort of counting on his reaction. Damn it all." I wonder if he heard my concern for her in my thoughts when he heard everything else, that we had done together. "He is better than I thought."

"He's not playing a game, Jake," she said quietly.

"You bet he is. He's playing every bit as hard as I am, only he knows what he's doing and I don't. Don't blame me because he's a better manipulator than I am – I haven't been around long enough to learn all his tricks."

"He isn't manipulating me!"

"Yes, he is! When are you going to wake up and realize that he's not as perfect as you think he is?"

"At least he didn't threaten to kill himself to make me kiss him," she snapped. "Wait. Pretend that didn't slip out. I swore to myself that I wasn't going to say anything about that."

I took a deep breath, I'm not sure why it surprised me that _he_ would tell her I did that, of course he would. I just wasn't sure why Bella didn't hold it against me. "Why not?" I asked her.

"Because I didn't come here to blame you for anything."

"It's true, though," I said evenly. "I did do that."

"I don't care, Jake. I'm not mad."

I smiled. "I don't care, either. I knew you'd forgive me, and I'm glad I did it. I'd do it again. At least I have that much. At least I made you see that you _do_ love me. That's worth something."

"Is it? Is it really better than if I was still in the dark?"

"Don't you think you ought to know how you feel – just so that it doesn't take you by surprise someday when it's too late and you're a married vampire?"

She shook her head. "No – I didn't mean better for me. I meant better for _you_. Does it make things better or worse for you, having me know that I'm in love with you? When it doesn't make a difference either way. Would it have been better, easier for you, if I never clued in?"

I knew that she was serious and paused for a moment to give it some thought. "Yes, it's better to have you know," I finally decided. "If you hadn't figured it out . . . I'd have always wondered if your decision would have been different if you had. Now I know. I did everything I could." I dragged in an unsteady breath, and closed my eyes.

I heard Bella moving towards me and she knelt down near my head. Her hands were near my shoulder probably too scared to touch me and I felt her forehead rest against my cheek. I took a deep breath and I rested my hand behind her head holding her as close as I could.

"I'm so sorry, Jake."

"I always knew this was a long shot. It's not your fault, Bella."

"Not you, too," she moaned. "Please."

I pulled away to be able to see her face. "What?"

"It _is_ my fault. And I'm so sick of being told it's not."

I grinned, that was so Bella. "You want me to haul you over the coals?"

"Actually . . . I think I do."

I pursed my lips together, trying to decide if she was serious. Only Bella would want me to yell and scream at her as some sort of self imposed punishment. I started to smile and then realized that was going to ruin the affect so I decided to scowl instead. "Kissing me back like that was inexcusable." I spit the words at her. "If you knew you were just going to take it back, maybe you shouldn't have been quite so convincing about it."

She winced and nodded. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make anything better, Bella. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," she whispered.

"You should have told me to go die. That's what you want."

"No, Jacob," she whimpered and I could see her eyes start to water. "No! Never."

Her reaction startled me, I thought she knew I wasn't being serious. "You're not crying?" I demanded, feeling really confused and shifted unconsciously on the bed.

"Yeah," she muttered weakly, through her laughter and her tears. Her tears turned to sobs and I wanted to hold her so I shifted to my good side brought my leg over the side of the bed and thought about trying to sit on the floor next to her. "What are you doing?" She demanded through her tears. "Lie down, you idiot, you'll hurt yourself!"

She jumped up and pushed against my good shoulder, I admit moving really wasn't a good idea, not to mention being naked so I surrendered to her touch. I could feel the pain as I rested back down, but I decided that Bella could rest with me and wrapped my arm around her waist securing her to my good side. Once there Bella curled herself around me and I could feel her tears against my chest. I brought the quilt up so that it could keep me covered and to catch her tears.

"I can't believe you're crying," I mumbled. "You know I just said those things because you wanted me to. I didn't mean them." My hand rubbed against her shoulders.

"I know," she took a deep breath like she was trying to gain control of her emotions. "It's all still true, though. Thanks for saying it out loud."

"Do I get points for making you cry?"

"Sure, Jake," she tried to smile. "As many as you want."

"Don't worry, Bella, honey. It's all going to work out."

"I don't see how," she muttered.  
I brought my hand to her head and felt her soft hair. "I'm going to give in and be good."

"More games?" She tilted her head to look me in the eyes.

She knew me well. "Maybe." I laughed and was immediately reminded of my broken body. "But I'm going to try." She frowned. "Don't be so pessimistic," I complained. "Give me a little credit."

"What do you mean by 'be good'?"

"I'll be your friend, Bella," I said quietly. "I won't ask for more than that."

"I think it's too late for that, Jake. How can we be friends, when we love each other like this?"

I looked up at the ceiling, I never really thought that her knowing her feelings for me could completely push her away. "Maybe . . . it will have to be a long-distance friendship." I continued to look up at the ceiling and didn't know what I should do. Now I could see that my actions had been tearing her apart. I didn't want to do that any longer. Was letting her go, more loving than trying to hold on? "You know that story in the Bible?" I asked. "The one with the king and the two women fighting over the baby?"

"Sure. King Solomon."

"That's right. King Solomon," I repeated. "And he said, cut the kid in half . . . but it was only a test. Just to see who would give up their share to protect it."

"Yeah, I remember."

I looked her in the eyes. "I'm not going to cut you in half anymore, Bella." I was letting her go. Letting her make her own choices without having to look over her shoulder at me. I loved her enough, that I wanted her to be happy, whatever that meant for her.

It was eerily quiet, I really expected her to say something that would show that she understood the sacrifice I was making. I could feel her shift slightly next to me, and so I decided to break the silence myself. "Can I tell you what the worst part is?" I asked hesitantly and she still didn't say anything. "Do you mind? I _am_ going to be good."

"Will it help?" She whispered.

"It might. It couldn't hurt."

"What's the worst part, then?"

"The worst part is knowing what would have been."

"What _might_ have been." She sighed.

"No." I shook my head. "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us – comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken . . ." I looked away for a moment so that I could gather my thoughts and push the lump that had tried to gather in my throat so that I could finish. "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic . . ."

I let the silence hang for a moment and I wondered what Bella thought about what I had said. She wasn't normally so quiet with me. "He's like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

She smiled wistfully. "I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun. My personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me."

I sighed. "The clouds I can handle." The sun is stronger, and on the cloudiest days will still light the sky. "But I can't fight with an eclipse."

She reached out and touched my cheek, and it was almost more than I could bare. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch as I felt like she held me together with such a simple touch.

"Tell me the worst part for you," I whispered.

"I think that might be a bad idea."

"Please."

"I think it will hurt."

"Please."

"The worst part . . ." she hesitated, then truth flooded from within. "The worst part is that I saw the whole thing – our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy. And I can't, and it's killing me. It's like Sam and Emily, Jake – I never had a choice. I always knew nothing would change. Maybe that's why I was fighting against you so hard."

I didn't know that I could feel so much pain in one day, part of it was great to know that she wanted me so badly, the other part was dying inside. The morphine was starting to burn off and breathing was literally becoming more difficult and so I just tried to keep it even so Bella would stay longer.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you that." She whispered.

I shook my head slowly. "No. I'm glad you did. Thank you." I kissed the top of her head, probably the last kiss I would give her and sighed. "I'll be good now."

She looked up at me and I smiled, trying to get her to feel better. "So you're going to get married, huh?" I said looking for a change of subject, an equally crappy subject, but at least it was different.

"We don't have to talk about that."

"I'd like to know some of the details. I don't know when I'll talk to you again."

She took a moment before answering. "It's not really my idea . . . but, yes. It means a lot to him. I figure, why not?"

I nodded. "That true. It's not such a big thing – in comparison."

She looked directly at me and I saw her beautiful chocolate eyes that would be gone once she was no more and I couldn't look at her. It hurt so bad that I tore my eyes away and tried to get my emotions back under control, where I had put them. I knew that Bella could feel my emotions and was purposefully giving me this time.

"Yes. In comparison," she finally agreed.

"How long do you have left?"

"That depends on how long it takes Alice to pull a wedding together."

"Before or after?" I asked quietly.

"After."

I nodded my head, relieved that there was still more time. I didn't really understand why they were waiting, but as long as she was willing to wait I was pleased.

"Are you scared?" I whispered. I wondered what she really thought of this transformation she would be taking.

"Yes," she whispered back.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Lots of things. "I've never been much of a masochist, so I'm not looking forward to the pain. And I wish there was some way to keep _him_ away – I don't want him to suffer with me, but I don't think there's any way around it. There's dealing with Charlie, too, and Renee . . . And then afterwards, I hope I'll be able to control myself _soon_. Maybe I'll be such a menace that the pack will have to take me out."

That would suck, and I looked away hoping that I wouldn't be put in that position. "I'd hamstring any one of my brothers who tried."

"Thanks."

I smiled halfheartedly, honestly amazed at how easy we were able to talk about this. Truthfully there wasn't anything _easy_ about this, and I was so scared. "But isn't it more dangerous than that? In all of the stories, they say it's too hard . . . they lose control . . . people die . . ." I gulped, and in that moment knew that her actually dying would be worse.

"No, I'm not afraid of that. Silly Jacob – don't you know better than to believe vampire stories?" Of course, it was so Bella to not be fearful for her own life. "Well, anyways, lots to worry about. But worth it, in the end."

I nodded my head, giving her the only affirmation that I was able. I'm sure she saw the lie behind it, but the truth was just too painful.

She stretched her body closer to mine and rested her face against my cheek right next to my ear. "You know I love you."

Words that should bring comfort, instead were tearing me a part. "I know," I breathed and tightened my arm that was around her waist. "You know how much I wish it was enough."

"Yes."

"I'll always be waiting in the wings, Bella," I promised. I lightened my voice to try and keep my other promise to be good, and I loosened my grip on her to show that she was free. "You'll always have that spare option if you want it."

She tried to smile. "Until my heart stops beating."

I grinned back. "You know, I think maybe I'd still take you – maybe. I guess that depends on how much you stink."

"Should I come back to see you? Or would you rather I didn't?"

I couldn't believe that this was really it. That this was goodbye. "I'll think it through and get back to you," I said. "I might need the company to keep from going crazy. The vampire surgeon extraordinaire says I can't phase until he gives the okay – it might mess up the way the bones are set." I grimaced thinking of what it took to set them earlier.

"Be good and do what Carlisle tells you to do. You'll get well faster."

"Sure, sure."

"I wonder when it will happen," she said. "When the right girl is going to catch your eye."

"Don't get your hopes up, Bella." I wondered if she would finally feel less guilty for all the heartbreak I have endured. "Though I'm sure it would be a relief for you."

"Maybe, maybe not. I probably won't think she's good enough for you. I wonder how jealous I'll be."

"That part might be kind of fun," I admitted.

"Let me know if you want me to come back, and I'll be here," she promised.

With a sigh, I turned my cheek towards her and she leaned in and kissed my face softly. "Love you, Jacob."

I laughed lightly. "Love you more."

As I watched Bella walked out the door, what was left of me shattered.

Bonus Song

youtube dot com /watch?v=zlr2WIM4kyc

**Author's Note:** There will be one more chapter, coming soon. 


	20. Chapter 20

Song

youtube dot com /watch?v=d0CghSXk7kE&feature=related

**Chapter 20 – LEAVING **

I could barely breath as I was finally able to release the pent up heart break. I had tried to be strong and held back so that no one would see the real pain I was in. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I clutched the quilt and brought it up to my eyes to wipe away the moisture. I didn't have anywhere I could go, I was trapped, damn leeches for taking the option of phasing away from me. My chest heaved as the sobs broke out, I heard my door open and for a moment thought maybe Bella had come back. I opened my blurry eyes to see Dad rolling across the hard floor.

"I'm so sorry, Son."

"Just leave me alone," I growled, as I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, I didn't want to see his pity.

"Jacob, you are not alone. You have me and you have your brothers."

"Tell me this Dad, is Bella out there?" I said angrily, frustrated that he thought having other people around would be comforting.

"You know the answer to that."

"Then get the hell out."

He shook his head angrily, probably biting his tongue but I didn't look at him to see, as he rolled himself out.

How was it possible for a shattered heart to hurt so badly? I cried until I didn't think I could cry any more, and magically cried some more. My body shook and I knew that the pain of my broken bones should have returned by now, and that the morphine had burned off hours ago. And while it did hurt, the pain was just a shallow echo compared to the pain in my chest.

I tried to imagine my life without Bella in it and I just couldn't picture it. From when I was a kid I remembered looking at her and dreaming about the possibility of her and me. Even then, we would just sit together in a comfortable silence while she waited until she could go back to her own home. When Charlie said that she was coming here to live, something inside grew and I was so excited. I was hooked completely when we walked together on the beach, and since then I have loved her more and more every day. She has touched my life and it has never been the same, and I knew it never would be. Bella has become a permanent fixture and I didn't see how I was ever going to be put back together again.

I wondered what Bella was doing. Was she relieved that she wasn't having to deal with me anymore? Would we ever see each other again? I assumed that her understanding that she loved me would lead to something greater, instead it was just pain. Did Bella feel the same pain? I doubted it, even after being aware of her love for me there was no way for her to completely understand _my_ level of love for her. I don't think even I understood it, until I saw it being ripped away.

My sobs had settled into just quiet moans and my eyes were so swollen and red that I did not think it was possible for more tears to slide down my cheeks. My body became weak and tired, and slowly I was able to relax into sleep. While I slept my bones continued to heal and the pain settled into a mild ache only when I actually moved my arm or leg.

I woke up feeling stiff and sore, and lightly moaned when I tried to stretch. The pain was a brutal reminder of the terrible day I had. I felt someone brush some of my hair out of my face and their fingers trailed down my arm until they clasped their fingers around mine. The hand was much too small to be my dad's and it was soft and smooth.

"Bella?" I questioned softly.

"No, but I would be if I could," came Jackie's soft voice. If it weren't for my wolf hearing I might not have heard her.

"Hey," I opened my eyes, the sun was bright through the window and I assumed that I had slept for most of the day. "What are you doing here?"

Her face was concerned, and I wondered how long she had been sitting in a chair next to my bed. "You aren't the only one who can be stubborn." She smiled, and took a deep breath. "You don't do things half way do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"This." She pointed along the right side of my body.

"I'll be fine, it looks worse than it really is."

"And what about this." She placed her hand over my heart. "Is it going to be fine?"

"I don't know. I doubt it."

"I'm sorry." She leaned her head against my shoulder and gently tried to hug me.

"I'm not _that_ broken."

"Alright tough guy." She slipped off the chair and knelt on the floor as she rested her cheek against my chest and put one arm around my waist. I rested my hand on her back. As nice as it was for her to visit, it just felt wrong. I could feel her soft hair, but it wasn't her hair that I wanted to feel. I could feel her arm holding me, but it wasn't her arms that I wanted. I looked down at her and she looked back at me, why couldn't this feel right? Why does life have to be so damn complicated and messed up? I didn't know, but I did know that I was never going to be _her_ Jacob. I couldn't let her continue to have hope in a dream, that was never going to come true.

"You need to go." I whispered.

"Oh, you probably need help with something." She sat up and started to stand. "I'll get out of the way and see you later."

"No, I meant, you shouldn't come back."

"What? I thought we were friends."

I reached out and took her hand. "Really Jackie, is that all you want from me?"

"Jake, don't do this." She sat back down in the chair, resting our hands in her lap.

"I have to, this isn't fair to you. Trust me, it sucks to wait around hoping for someone to wake up to what is right in front of them."

"Please, Jake." She looked back at me and her eyes were filled with tears as one broke free and slipped down her cheek.

"I'm sorry." I said, as I lifted my hand to catch her tear. "Find the person who was meant for you before I break you beyond what can be repaired."

"Easier said, than done."

"Believe me, I know."

Once again, she laid her head back down on my chest and I could feel her tears roll down my side, and I placed my hand on her back. We didn't say anymore for a while, and when her tears dried then she kissed my hand.

"Goodbye," she whispered, and walked out the door.

I wish I could say that I had been left alone, but it just didn't seem possible. For the next three days I was stuck in the house with one of my brothers staying by my side. Like it really made me feel better having company when there was really just one person who I wanted to see, but I was too big of a chicken to call her. I know she said she would come back, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it if she refused. And if she came, I wasn't strong enough to tell her goodbye again, it was just easier to make it where I wouldn't see her again.

My head was a terrible place to be and Sam had pity on the others and refused to let me patrol. The only brief moment of relief I have had is after Dr. Sparkles released me to phase and my wolf carried the pain. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was able to fully breathe.

_Hey Jake, welcome back!_ Embry called excited.

_Thanks, man it feels great to be on four legs again. I never thought I would see the day I enjoyed being a wolf._

_Took you long enough,_ Quil mumbled.

I laughed lightly and it was the first time I had laughed in days and the action felt strange, almost foreign.

_Have I missed anything?_

_Nope, just Leah moaning about how much she wanted to take that leech, I still don't think she has forgiven you for 'saving' her. _

_Wow, I have never met someone more conceded. _

_After an army of leeches, the rest of the summer is going to be boring_. Quil complained.

I cringed and immediately the pain returned. I knew that this summer was going to suck, just waiting for that miserable excuse of a wedding to get here.

_Sorry, Jake._ Embry said.

_Truthfully guys, I'm going to be miserable to be with this summer. You should probably just leave me alone. _

I phased out, and did whatever I could to be left alone. I stayed home for days until my dad kicked me out because I was annoying him to death. No matter what I tried I just couldn't get Bella off my mind, she had become part of everything that was important to me. Whenever I would phase I brought the pack with me to the hell hole that was my mind, so I avoided that as much as possible.

So I wondered the beach or hung out at the cliffs. The cliffs, a constant reminder of what might have been, I would see them and the pain would be almost more than I could handle. I would sit at the top hoping that I wouldn't be found, they all knew how much I wanted to be left alone. Why Leah couldn't get it through her thick skull, I had no idea. I swear she followed me today just to get an extra kick out of annoying the hell out of me.

Like she really had anything to complain about. Sure being stuck with Sam knowing her every thought would suck, but at least she knew that he was safe. At least she knew that he was happy and was with whom nature decided was best for him. At least she didn't have to deal with him _choosing_ someone else over her.

"Jump off a cliff, Leah." I pointed to the one at my feet.

"Really, kid." She ignored me, throwing herself into a sprawl on the ground next to me. "You have no idea how hard this is for me."

"For you?" It took me a minute to believe she was serious. "You have to be the most self-absorbed person alive, Leah. I'd hate to shatter the dream world you live in – the one where the sun is orbiting the place where you stand – so I won't tell you how little I care what your problem is. _Go. Away_."

I couldn't believe that she actually wanted me to listen to her. I didn't care if she felt like she was falling in love with Bella, or dreaming about her. Welcome to my world!

"Do I care?"

"I can't stand being in your head anymore! Get over her already! She's going to _marry_ that thing. He's going to try to change her into one of them! Time to move on, boy."

"Shut up," I growled. It would be wrong to strike back. I knew that. I was biting my tongue. But she'd be sorry if she didn't walk away. Now.

"He'll probably just kill her anyways," Leah said. Sneering. "All the stories say that happens more often than not. Maybe a funeral will be better closure than a wedding. Ha."

This time I had to work. I closed my eyes and fought the hot taste in my mouth. I pushed and shoved against the slide of fire down my back, wrestling to keep my shape together while my body tried to shake apart.

When I was in control again, I glowered at her. She was watching my hands as the tremors slowed. Smiling.

Some joke.

"If you're upset about gender confusion, Leah . . .," I said. Slow, emphasizing each word. "How do you think the rest of us like looking at Sam through your eyes? It's bad enough that Emily has to deal with _your_ fixation. She doesn't need us guys panting after him, too."

Pissed as I was, I still felt guilty when I watched the spasm of pain shoot across her face. She scrambled to her feet – pausing only to spit in my direction – and ran for the trees, vibrating like a tuning fork.

I laughed darkly. "You missed."

Sam was going to give me hell for that, but it was worth it. Leah wouldn't bug me anymore. And I'd do it again if I had the chance.

Leah's words carved themselves into my brain and wouldn't let go. It wasn't just that Bella had picked someone other than me, but I hated with every fiber of my being that she was giving up her human life. There was a time when her becoming a vampire was equal or possibly even worse than her really dying, but now, if he killed her . . .

I had to fight the rage that boiled inside and cursed Leah for taking away the option to phase. As a beast I had instincts so much stronger than human emotions. I was an animal who couldn't feel pain in the same way.

My only hope was to put my faith in a bloodsucker. That he would have the restraint to keep her alive, instead of sucking her blood until she was cold. I had thought of what it would be like for her to be changed so many times, over and over again, that I didn't want to think about it again.

I didn't really want to go home, but I was hungry, and I couldn't think of another plan. I picked up the stupid sling and crutches and grumbled my way home.

Going hungry started to look better when I walked in the house and got a look at my dad's face. He had something on his mind. It was easy to tell – he always over did it. Acted all casual.

He also talked too much. He was rambling, and rambling, and rambling, as I choked down as much food as I could.

Billy was quiet for a second too long. "We got a letter today."

I could tell that this was the subject he'd been avoiding. "A letter?"

"A . . . wedding invitation."

Every muscle in my body locked in place. A feather of heat seemed to brush down my back. I held onto the table to keep my hands steady.

Billy went on like he hadn't noticed. "There's a note inside that's addressed to you. I didn't read it." He pulled a thick ivory envelope from where it was wedged between his leg and the side of his wheelchair. He laid it on the table between us. "You probably don't need to read it. Doesn't really matter what it says."

Stupid reverse psychology. I yanked the envelope off the table. It was some heavy, stiff paper. Expensive. Too fancy for Forks. The card inside was the same, too done-up and formal. Bella'd had nothing to do with this. There was no sign of her personal taste in the layers of see-through, petal-printed pages. I'd bet she didn't like it at all. I didn't read the words, not even to see the date. I didn't care.

There was a piece of the thick ivory paper folded in half with my name handwritten in black ink on the back. I didn't recognize the handwriting, but it was as fancy as the rest of it. For half a second, I wondered if the bloodsucker was into gloating.

I flipped it open.

_Jacob, _

_I'm breaking the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting you, and she didn't want to make you feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the choice. _

_I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you – for her – for everything. _

_Edward_

"Jake, we only have the one table," Billy said. He was staring at my left hand.

My fingers were clamped down on the wood hard enough that it really was in danger. I loosened them one by one, concentrating on that action alone, and then clenched my hands together so I couldn't break anything.

"Yeah, doesn't matter anyway," Billy muttered. I got up from the table, shrugging out of my t-shirt as I stood. Hopefully Leah had gone home by now. "Not too late," Billy mumbled as I punched the front door out of my way.

I was running before I hit the trees, my clothes strewn out behind me like a trail of crumbs – as if I wanted to find my way back. It was almost too easy now to phase. I didn't have to think. My body already knew where I was going and, before I asked it to, it gave me what I wanted.

I had four legs now, and I was flying. The trees blurred into a sea of black flowing around me. My muscles bunched and released in an effortless rhythm. I could run like this for days and I would not be tired. Maybe, this time, I wouldn't stop.

But I wasn't alone.

_So sorry,_ Embry whispered in my head. I could see through his eyes. He was far away, to the north, but he had wheeled around and was racing to join me. I growled and pushed myself faster.

_Wait for us,_ Quil complained. He was closer, just starting out from the village.

_Leave me alone,_ I snarled.

I could feel their worry in my head, try hard as I might to drown it in the sound of the wind and the forest. This was what I hated most – seeing myself through their eyes, worse now that their eyes were full of pity. They saw the hate, but they kept running after me.

A new voice sounded in my head. _Let him go._ Sam's thought was soft, but still an order.

Embry and Quil slowed to a walk. If only I could stop hearing, stop seeing what they saw. My head was so crowded, but the only way to be a lone again was to be human, and I couldn't stand the pain.

_Phase back,_ Sam directed them, _I'll pick you up, Embry. _

First one, then another awareness faded into silence. Only Sam was left.

_Thank you,_ I managed to think.

_Come home when you can._ The words were faint, trailing off into blank emptiness as he left, too. And I was alone.

So much better. Now I could hear the faint rustle of the matted leaves beneath my toenails, the whisper of an owl's wings above me, the ocean – far, far in the west – moaning against the beach. Hear this, and nothing more. Feel nothing but speed, nothing but the pull of muscle, sinew, and bone, working together in harmony as the miles disappeared behind me.

If the silence in my head lasted, I would never go back. I wouldn't be the first one to choose this form over the other. Maybe, if I ran far enough away, I would never have to hear again . . .

I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind me.

_Youtube dot com _/watch?v=6b1SVws04aA&feature=related


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note:

Thank you all so much for taking this journey with me. I can't imagine writing this for a better group of people. These last couple of chapters have not been easy, and I hate leaving Jacob in such a broken place. So that leads naturally into – **What do I do next? Will I do Breaking Dawn**?

- I'll answer Breaking Dawn first. I will not be doing Breaking Dawn in the same way that I have NM and Eclipse. The reason is, that I feel like Meyers pretty much does that herself. My goal has always been to tell Jacob's side of HER story. So the only part of BD left to tell is after he imprints for that final section of the story. I feel like that particular section is just really a mess, and I don't want to go down that journey. Also, I don't really feel like Jacob has a story to tell, so much stress and agony for a disaster that doesn't happen.

- So what to do next?

* I do not feel like this story can be salvaged into a Jacob/Bella story (unless Bella does some mine, please see Bella's Sun)

* So that leads to two alternatives

1) A Post-Breaking Dawn story that would be a Jacob/Nessie story.

2) A new story where Breaking Dawn is pretty much ignored and Jacob finds love in another character. I feel a natural question to that would be – could that character be Jackie. Sure, why not. Haha.

I really haven't put much thought into either option, so I would love to have your opinion on what you would prefer.


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